Quote Originally Posted by a_mandalab View Post
I have the same problem and have been "chronically single" as well. and I know how you feel about having to be confident about it.

I know it has nothing to do with my looks. Men hit on me a lot. But I get the feeling that no man would ever want to date me. I feel that men only hit on me to boost their ego, or they only want to cheat on their wives/gf's with me.. don't think they want to date me..

on the other end of the spectrum, I have reassessed my passed relationships and realize that I have also picked the wrong guys. Every guy I dated was an A-hole. But then again, I can't think of any other guys that I have met that would have been good guys. So I've come to the following conclusions:

1. I'm attracted to jerks
2. Jerks are attracted to me
3. Only jerks approach me

Not sure why this is so.. maybe it's that most men are jerks.. or maybe because no man really wants to settle down with a pretty girl..
Thats a nice open minded post. Thats why it will be easy to help you.

First of all you might be attracted to Jerks cause you are not very picky about guys since you are ussualy single and first guy who is about okay gets your aproval. It could be something to do with your social status, depends where you find a guy too. Also is it possible that you have low selfesteem and you think jerky thought about yourself and thats why attract same kind of people - jerks? And thats why jerks are attracted to you too?

"3. Only jerks approach me"

Again depends where are you meeting them, whats your interests, the way you dress and your body features.
You can easly change this by wearing thick sweaters and spending most of your time in liblary. The guys who will be aproaching you will be way more intelligent jerks.
You can actually attract better guys when you know excatly what type of guy you want. When you imagine the exact qualities you want from a guy and keep that image in your mind.

For me it took less than a year to find girl I dreamed about and she had a smile from heaven that I kept imagining. had no idea its actually possible to meet your dream girl but there was a dream and a girl. Only girl was real with the same angel smile that heals. It wouldnt be possible without a dream without that image. Her image ussualy came to me when I were in places I enjoyed the most - In the national park and at the beach. Later I find out she used to visit these places too. We lived in the same tiny town but it took a year until we met.

It was a dark place real hell actually(bad factory) Smelly loud and dark. The place where dreams are dying. Angels are met in strangest places. There was two girls my age and it took few seconds to talk with first girl(her heart felt like plastic shit) to realise that there is only one girl. I wanted make good impresion on her from the first moment I saw her. Dont know why cause she was nothing - there was nothing special about her looks. She was sad and basicaly just a shade. But there was something about her so I kept looking at her and she lightened up and started to smile. Her smile was strong and from that first moment I realised that shes too good for me. Next day I changed everything about my apperance and so did she. Soon that dark place became heaven, it wasnt because of the place, it was the feeling inside. She gave me her best smile and it changed my life. It was the same smile that angel had in my daydreams - smile thats shows open heart, heart where dreams are living and girl who is folowing dreams. Only then person can have this kind of smile when a strong open heart stands behind it. because smile is nothing else than face of the heart. Put a dream in strong heart and every heart beat will bring you closer to that dream.

In your case imagine the guy you want, you need to change your life and when you meet that guy your heart will be setup for him. It will be easy to open your heart and fell in love. You will not have a defense against that. And your love will be attracting him like a sweetest honey.