So im asking this in the female forum because i want some female input in this. For those that know my track history btw, i think im going to get some professional help soon towards my social anxiety as i think i can accept that i am introverted, but my anxiety in most cases i speak with people i dont know is something i dont want. My goal i feel is to feel relaxed when relating with others without necessarily eliminating my more reserved nature...
Well so this is the story...
(ive told part of it before)
Years ago i went to my native country, my cousin showed me pictures of her all girl classes, in them there was this girl i tagged as the prettiest girl id seen in her pictures, as it turns out my cousin and the girl were friends and for a reason i wont bother stating, my cousin's mother went to visit that girl's house and i went too, in hopes of seeing the girl just to get a glimpse of her as i did get attracted of her by the picture, but when i went there she was no where to be found.
Well about 3 years later this girl sent me a friend invite in facebook, i accepted her and just sent her a message saying "hi" because i didnt quite remember or know who this girl was. Well i liked one of her pics a few days after, and after that she told me " your surely asking your self who is she? one time you came with your aunt to my house bla bla bla bla bla", considering this, i assume my cousin told her i thought she was pretty and she friended me for whatever reason, just to be friendly, point is that she friended me despite never meeting me, meaning that surely my cousin told her i found her attractive, and for whatever reason she friended me.
Well this was like 5-6 months ago. In that time she and i have talked LOTS on Facebook, she lives in my native country but goes to study to europe sometimes due to scholarships, well considering she has such a nice personality, we have talked ALOT and i can say we have had a pleasure talking to each other, we have much in common, we are both the smart people in our families who are actually going to university, we are interested in the same cultures, and speak in languages we our selves like, shes even a fan of football such as i, point being that she is like perfect for me, someone id like to ask out on a date, and we have always had a WONDERFUL time talking to each other.
Well as it turns out yesterday i just returned from a 2 week visit to my native country and i was going with hopes of seeing her, and maybe say hi and have a nice convsersation, i didnt tell her i was going until i arrived and as it turns out, she was living far now due to school matters and would only visit her parent's house which is close to where i live, occasionally, and she told me that i could visit her, long story short, there were complications, she could only go for that one weekend and i was unable to go, i asked her if she could come to where i was but she told me that she was a bit shy of going where i was and was not sure she could go, long story short i couldnt see her as she was busy, i was busy, and when we could have done it, shyness and some other things apparently blocked us.
Well now that i came back i tried to send her a message saying too bad we couldnt see each other and that maybe "next time" i could see her, and i described her as stunning, interesting, smart, and awesome in the message, and today all she said was thanks and something else..
so now that ive told this story, basically we have talked with each other a bit cordially but in a fun way, but have never gotten to meet each other, nor have we really ever flirted, my question is, as a female, do u think it is right for me to get a bit melodramatic about this?
I think im "in love" with the idea of maybe going out on a date with her, but she lives in another country, sometimes she goes to europe, and i only visit my native country once yearly, maybe twice if a miracle occurs, and in the messages she sent me when i was in the native country she was cordial and not too emotional in her messages just as i was, so i cant read anything either, cant really "read" her emotions..
Is it "right" for me to dream about a girl i find to be stunning, gorgeous, perfect, so interesting, but lives in another country, and who i dont even know what she feels?
I like her and i feel so much ive thought of her may be for nothing...I even feel ive put my self out a bit trying to hint that i do like her but she has always just been nice and cordial, she and i have communicated in almost the same way with the difference that i have complimented her sometimes...
Maybe its best for me to just see her as a friend as i had done so indeed up until 3 weeks ago when the idea of maybe doing something nice in my trip came, but in the end here i am left with nothing and in limbo, shame.