My bfs ex has now moved in with him...

[michelle23]

But its rare that someone has noone. I'm sure your ex has friends, family or could easily find a new bf to put her up for awhile. Turning up on your doorstep would be sneaky and manipulate in that situation especially if she knows you have a new gf. Plus what would you do if she climbed into your bed while your asleep and started cuddling you? 9 years is a lot of history. She may want a quickie for old times sake.. And if you still have any sort of feelings for her-the chances of you becoming a cheat are high.

[j-white]

But I never did
When me and my ex split up I slept on the couch and later in the spare room for around 3 months all while in a (admittedly, long distance) relationship.

She stayed in the house until she found a flat to rent. We got on very well. Watched movies, played computer games, but we never kissed or slept together.

[michelle23]

Its different though coz you were living together when you split up and its understandable to give her some time to get herself sorted to move out but if she turned up now-it wouldn't be fair to a new gf to let her move back in

[TablesandChairs]

She's the girl everyone feels sorry for - she's nice, she's had a hard life and now she has no one. His family love her and he loves her and she spends more time with him than you do. Anything you say will make you look like the asshole. Of course, there's the fact that since she has no real family, your boyfriend and his family will look very, very appealing so it's probably dawned on her that it'd be good if they were a couple again.

You feel like a third wheel because you are. Obviously there's no point telling him you want her to move out or whatever because it's not his decision - it's his parents' house. What you can do is be honest: 'Hey, the whole thing with X makes me feel insecure - can you understand why? I love that you're a great person but at the same time, I don't know where I fit in anymore'.

PS: Don't feel bad being affectionate towards your own boyfriend around her. If she has a problem with it, then you'll know she's not to be trusted.

[4 ratties]

It doesn't sound like things are going to change any time soon. Maybe eventually this girl will find somewhere else to go and you could wait around to see. But this current situation is making u miserable. U feel insecure, a third wheel, different, and awkward being intimate with your bf. I would move on and find someone that makes u feel good about yourself. The most important person in your life is you.

[Mackie]

She's the girl everyone feels sorry for - she's nice, she's had a hard life and now she has no one. His family love her and he loves her and she spends more time with him than you do. Anything you say will make you look like the asshole.

Totally, thats totally it!!
i mean i get why there doing it - even part of me feels like, I've got a good family, I've got the guy, I shouldn't be quibbling over them Putting a roof over her head.

Of course, there's the fact that since she has no real family, your boyfriend and his family will look very, very appealing so it's probably dawned on her that it'd be good if they were a couple again

.
Yeah see I trust my boyfriend but i don't trust her And i guess its run through my head that they get on really well, his family is the closest thing she's got and her link to them would be a lot stronger if she was with Dane - but it does take two to tango and I do trust him not to cheat.

You feel like a third wheel because you are. Obviously there's no point telling him you want her to move out or whatever because it's not his decision - it's his parents' house. What you can do is be honest: 'Hey, the whole thing with X makes me feel insecure - can you understand why? I love that you're a great person but at the same time, I don't know where I fit in anymore'.

Yeah exactly and I don't want to put him in an impossible situation. I think I do think I should say something to him, maybe I will tommorrow!

[/QUOTE] PS: Don't feel bad being affectionate towards your own boyfriend around her. If she has a problem with it, then you'll know she's not to be trusted.[/QUOTE]
Yeah it's not so much she has a problem, I guess it's more me, I'm quite shy by nature, I guess its different more a case of me not be totally comfortable around her and that makes me feel awkward about being intimate with Dane in front of her.

[Mackie]

My ex of 9 years recently almost lost her apartment, I told her she was free to stay in my spare room free of charge to get back on her feet if she needed to. She was my best friend for 9 years and I'd help her in any way I can.

If my new girlfriend told me she didn't like it, honestly it would be a hard situation for me because I wouldn't want to see my ex and good friend out on her ass you know.
If my girlfriend then started the Jerry Springer head movements and told me to get her out of my house then I'd instantly know what to do. The girlfriend is not my type and she'd be gone straight away!

I do get that, I mean in theory I like how kind he isand I like that he still looks out for her and I understand they grew up together...the reality of it is harder, especially now with this added photography thing, noW there living and working together.

,However I would realise it's not ideal and I'd be doing everything possible to get my ex out and on her feet as quickly as possible.
If everything's as good as you say then I'm sure your boyfriend is too.

If I'm bing honest I don't see her gonig anywhere for a while, shes only 18 and I pretty sure the offer from his folks is more of a 'as long as you want / honours daughter' type thing that a 'until you can get on your feet' type thing. And I guess from her point of view she just got herself this big family type unit, I don't see she'd be in any hurry to leave it.

Could he possibly move in with you?

Err I guess it isn't out of the question, sometimes he stays at mine for a couple of nights...but i don't think he would, he's very close to his family, his close in age to his brothers and sister, I don't think he'd want to leave the nest just yet

[fearoflove]

I don't know why the OP's boyfriend's family is so disrespectful to you. They probably like the girl more than they like you. With a little encouragement from the family, they might get back together.