Need advice, about to lose her!!!

[orla910]

I met this girl which is 27 yrs old, she has a 4 yr old boy, she is seperated. We have been going out for a while and eveything was perfect, until her family started talking to her and telling her that her son needs his dad and mom together because its affecting him, since they separeted not to long ago,,, well she told me that may be theyre right, she said she doesnt love him anymore, but that she loves her son and that would be enough to make the sacrifice of being with someone she doesnt love,, she has told me and showed me she loves me,, but she thinks that going back to his ex will be better for her son, even if its not the best for her.....

im meeting her in a couple of hours, I know i dont have many chances, what could i tell her??

any advice???????????

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her you think it will be worse for the kid to have two unhappy parents together but its her decision. She'll probably **** you on the side still. She sounds like a dumb cunt, deserving of the unhappiness she's about to bring onto herself.

[Cerby]

You respect her decision, especially if she is putting the well being of her son ahead of herself.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You respect her decision, especially if she is putting the well being of her son ahead of herself.

She's letting her family pressure her into something she doesn't want. I agree he should let her make the decision and leave it at that.

[orla910]

You respect her decision, especially if she is putting the well being of her son ahead of herself.

I understand she's doing that bc of her son, i have shown her i can her for the boy too, but i guess i should respect her decision

[orla910]

She's letting her family pressure her into something she doesn't want. I agree he should let her make the decision and leave it at that.

yeah, everything was perfect until her family got in the way, and i mean shes old enough to make her own decisons, but she's letting them choose for her, i thought i couldve said something to at least make her think about it

[BackUpOrGetStng]

"If you want to let your family run your life, then go ahead." If she's already made up her mind, then she's going to twist anything you say into a reason to help reassure herself she's doing the right thing. If I were you, I'd just text her and tell her you'd rather not waste your time meeting to talk if she's going to end things. Tell her if she wants out, she's got it, otherwise..what else is there to talk about?

[orla910]

"If you want to let your family run your life, then go ahead." If she's already made up her mind, then she's going to twist anything you say into a reason to help reassure herself she's doing the right thing. If I were you, I'd just text her and tell her you'd rather not waste your time meeting to talk if she's going to end things. Tell her if she wants out, she's got it, otherwise..what else is there to talk about?

i know,youre right, if thats her decision i dont think theres anything i can say:/

[BackUpOrGetStng]

i know,youre right, if thats her decision i dont think theres anything i can say:/

Yeah, and people always make the mistake of saying too much, when the best thing to do is say nothing. I think you should end it on your terms and do it via text so she doesn't get the relief she would get from feeding you a line of bullshit and you accepting it. You stay in her head by leaving her in the dark.

Send her something like,"If you've already chosen to go back to <insert name>, I understand, but I'd rather not meet up to talk about it." Just be very short with her, and do not be apologetic at all.

[Maple1714]

I don't even think you need to go meet up with her...why? It's a VERY hard decision whether or not to put your own happiness before what your family thinks is best for your child.

Personally, I don't think sacrificing your own happiness is ever worth it. Eventually her unhappiness with the child's father will surface in some form and have a more harmful impact on the child in the long run. Why can't she just co-parent with the child's father? Why does the father have to be out of the picture if they are not in a romantic relationship? He can still be a very active part of the kids life.

You need to stay out of this and move on. She was dumb to start something up with you in the first place.

[pcmaster]

Dont complicate things. Your best feature is that things are simple with you since you are only in romantic stage. Set a deadline - let her know or not but wait no longer than two weeks cause you could be banging other girls by that time already. I personaly would say something like: "Im gona be happy no matter what, you choose to be together with me or not."

Really just one sentence so she knows that your reality depends on you not her which is attractive to girls. Also you wont be needy in this way which is unatractive(run after girls).
Her feelings is not gone for him or he have money or something cause it dont make sense to get back together otherwise. Anyway some things you cant control so if shes gone its not your fault.

[okwhat2013]

This is easy. You support her by saying that the child's well being is very important and that he needs to be brought up in a loving environment. All you need to do is make her understand how important her child's well being is to you. She will not stay with her ex because of her child, if that was the case she would still be with him, all you have to do is be supported and show you are willing to be a good father to her child.

[okwhat2013]

Oh do NOT bash her family!!! Do NOT! Don't even talk bad about the ex. Seriously.

[michelle23]

This could all be horseshit too. People rarely tell you the real reason y you are being dumped. Its nicer to say that its about her son instead of saying i just dont like you..

I could be wrong but id never try to convince someone to stay with me no matter what reason he gave me. If he said we have to break up coz the sky is purple i wouldnt correct him and say the sky is blue..

Dont bother meeting her. You already know its over so whats the point?

[orla910]

I don't even think you need to go meet up with her...why? It's a VERY hard decision whether or not to put your own happiness before what your family thinks is best for your child.

Personally, I don't think sacrificing your own happiness is ever worth it. Eventually her unhappiness with the child's father will surface in some form and have a more harmful impact on the child in the long run. Why can't she just co-parent with the child's father? Why does the father have to be out of the picture if they are not in a romantic relationship? He can still be a very active part of the kids life.



You need to stay out of this and move on. She was dumb to start something up with you in the first place.

well yeah i undestand that, and thats exctly what i told her but she has it in her mind that thats the best thing to do for her son..