DO guys really not care?

[mlh]

I can go into all the details of what I did wrong but the short story is I made my boyfriend mad because I discussed our personal relationship problems to much in front of our friends. I understand that I made a mistake by getting to comfortable around our group and saying to much. I put my foot in my mouth. This happened last night. But today is our anniversary and I made plans. I asked him if he still wanted to spend the day together, etc. His exact response was "Honestly I don't care what you do." Then I told him I would cancel our reservations and plans. He then said "If that's what you want to do, Do what you want". Does he really not care what we do? Is this what guys say when they DO care? Is this a game or does he really not care that we will not spend our anniversary together....Throughout the day he has been on twitter tweeting at other girls and posting Tweets about his day. He normally is barely on. You would have no idea we were fighting. Is he doing this because he knows I will see?

[toknow]

Most likely he is just mad at you and this is how he responds to it. I think he by doing this he expects you to tell him you are sorry and to show you care about him. Because what you did to make him feel this way showed him lack of care.

[Lord Darkshire]

Ya well he is pretty pissed because you never listened to him and now he feels disrepected about the whole thing. So he is red flagging you, and pondering where to go with your relationship. Not too sure how many chances he's given you but this might have been your last.

[mlh]

He says he tells me this all the time but I think the difference between us is he views everything as personal and private while I think some things he thinks is private is common place talk. Its not necessarily anyone's fault we are just different. I have said sorry a lot for this but he must be thinking I'm not sorry

[mlh]

The thing that is really bothering me is him saying "I honestly don't care what you do"

[basilandthyme]

This isn't just about you talking with your friends. What you're forgetting is that the relationship has problems that are significant enough that you're feeling the need to discuss it with friends and write on message boards. http://www.loveforum.net/threads/81989-How-to-tell-him-without-hurting-his-ego?highlight=

When relationships have significant problems, they do tend to break up. He's probably debating whether or not to leave....but weighing it up with the problem that without you, he won't have anyone to sponge off.

[Exeter19]

he cares, or he wouldn't be ignoring you and letting you see him give other girls on 'twitter' all of his attention, you made him feel like shit so he is giving it back to you acting uninterested. plan the night & give him the details as to where to show up, either he will enjoy himself or you'll continue to fight and one of you will leave upset. guys have pride, so gossiping to others in your circle about private issues is a bad thing to do. he might have run out of patience with you, people can only take it for so long and then its enough.

[searock]

Please don't use sweeping generalizations such as "do guys really not care". We are talking about one specific guy in one specific situation.

I think he is pissed at you and that's why he's saying he doesn't care. Planning something nice for the anniversary isn't going to make your argument magically disappear. You need to sort out your issues first, and then think about celebrating your relationship.

[mlh]

Sorry for the generalization. Yes we do have to fix it. Its hard to believe he is so mad over something I thought was not a big deal. Like I wasn't saying PERSONAL stuff in my opinion. I was half-jokingly talking about this girl on his page who always calls him baby. Yet I have to respect the fact that this upsets him.

[searock]

Yet I have to respect the fact that this upsets him.

Exactly: even if something doesn't seem important to you, doesn't mean it isn't important to him. I hope you didn't dismiss his feelings telling him something like "you're over-reacting, it's no big deal, stop whining about it".

Ask him if you can meet in person to talk. Tell him that you understand and accept that it upsets him if you talk about your relationship in front of other people, and that you will not do it again. Say you're sorry for disregarding his feelings and that you will not do it again.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry for the generalization. Yes we do have to fix it. Its hard to believe he is so mad over something I thought was not a big deal. Like I wasn't saying PERSONAL stuff in my opinion. I was half-jokingly talking about this girl on his page who always calls him baby. Yet I have to respect the fact that this upsets him.

Hang on, you've gone from " I discussed our personal relationship problems to much in front of our friends." in your opening post to " Like I wasn't saying PERSONAL stuff in my opinion. I was half-jokingly talking about this girl on his page who always calls him baby" in this post. You're contradicting yourself.

Are you saying that your friends are unaware of issues such as you feeling he's not contributing financially?

[mlh]

I do not mention to my friends my feelings on how much he contributes finacially. That is ver private to me. Thats a reason I vented about it on message boards and not to friends. He believes me saying the comment about the girl on his Facebook page was personal and thats why I said I discussed our personal problems because in HIS eyes I did. And no I did not tell him he was overreacting. We should probably talk about it in person. Its hard to say sorry.

[ninetoe1024]

He could be mad, or, the following scenario:

If it were me, the only reason I would give this reaction would be my preference of what you wanted to do. That is the polite thing, and
can (i think?) make girls feel safer with someone. That is a question I have for you.

[ljubavjesve]

Guys care same as girl care. Someone care someone not. It's not about guy or girl