can't handle this breakup

[Tyler600]

So I was eight ex for there years and I love her more than anything in the world!! Recently she broke up with me and I can't stop thinking about her. We seemed to be made for eachother she was my best friend we had the same interest she was perfect I would do anything for her. She told me that she left me because she felt like she couldn't do anything and it all started to change when her friend came home from the summer and wanted her to go to the bars and hang out all the time. Another problem I'm having is that me and her grandpa are really close and we talk all the time he's like a mentor to me and I really enjoy spending time with her family and I'm afraid if she doesn't take me back that I will lose them too! She says she just needs time and I don't want to lose her I want to spend the rest of my life e with her. I've never been so depressed I can't get her out of my head and its affecting my day to day life! Please help me. She also contacted my sister to talk about it because they are friend and she told me that out sounded like she wanted to eventually get back together with me. She just needs time and space to think.

[Valixy]

She needs to have other friends besides you, the same way you need to have other friends and activities besides being with her but she shouldn't have broken up with you because she wanted to spend time with a friend, she should have spoken to you about it and together reach a compromise.

I don't think that you should wait around for this girl to take you back, you express insecurity and she will probably disrespect you even more in the future. Try to detach and have some fun. If this girl comes back establish together how your future relationship should be like. Meanwhile since she has broken up with you so disrespectfully just to have fun with her friend you should lighten up a bit and have a look at the girls around you.

[Tyler600]

Well I don't think her having fun was the while reason I can sometimes get a little upset but have never yelled at her but she didn't like it I never held anything against her. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her. And as far as finding someone else I can't even look at other girls maybe it will just take longer cuz I had my heart set I guess

[Tyler600]

All I wanna do is get her back this is killing me

[Valixy]

Tyler, you should give more details if you'd like to discuss your relationship and break up. Otherwise the opinions given here might not be correct.

My impression is that you've let yourself getting into a very uncomfortable situation, waiting for some time for this girl to come back to you and now you've reached a point when all this has become unbearable and extremely painful for you.

In spite of feeling as awful as you do, you need to think things, detach and find your personal power again. If you want to approach this girl, do it lightly. Do not show your emotions too much and how hurt you are. Invite her for a drink, flirt with her, then a few days later another one, just like casual dating again. Make it attractive and enjoyable but don't let her see you how much you care about how things are going. If you prefer to wait for her to come around, you'll need to change a few things. Either way, remember this, women do no like needy men, so do not look or act desperate, do not show her that all your life revolves around her and what she might decide about you two, because this is one way of never getting her back or losing her again. If you prefer to wait, you cannot sit there counting the minutes and going crazy. No matter how much you love this girl, no matter who she is, suffering so much as you're suffering right now IS NOT WORTH IT. This is not what your life is about. With or without this girl, you need to have your emotions in control and feel pretty much ok. This is your first obligation to yourself. You fail on this one, many other things will have a chance of failing, especially your love relationships. You need to regain your self-confidence and personal happiness and you can do this perfectly without this girl.