I'm writing this letter to break-up with my boyfriend. (Guys) How does this sound?

[RachelViolet]

I have decided to break-up with my boyfriend because he told me that he does not love me. We have been dating for over six months and we're in a long-distance relationship (we only see each other once a week). My needs are not being met and frankly, I feel heartbroken. I have decided to write him a break-up letter and I was planning on sending this through Facebook. I realize that breaking up through Facebook is pretty lame, but I am too upset to talk to him. How does this break-up letter sound?

I have been thinking about our talk last night. You had looked right at me and said without hesitation that you have no love for me at all. I can appreciate your honesty and I realize that there are plenty of men out there who would lie about having feelings for someone that they’re sleeping with. Despite your honesty, I can’t stick around in an intimate relationship with a man who has no feelings like that for me. You have been a pillar of emotional support for me during very difficult times in my life and I have valued that support. I just feel that we are better off as friends, if you would be interested in maintaining some sort of friendship. I feel very strongly that you and I are not compatible in a romantic-sense. I’m sure that we would both agree on that. Take care.

Should I make any changes? I'm interested in hearing what a guy would think of this.

[basilandthyme]

I'm a woman and I think the wording sounds fine. I would however encourage you to do this in person. Or at least over the phone. Because you're right when you say that breaking up on FB is pretty lame.

But it's not only the lameness of it - I think you'll regret doing this by letter because you'll miss out on the closing conversation. How will you feel if he doesn't reply - but simply accepts it and moves on? Will you lack a sense of 'closure' because you didn't have an actual conversation with him?

[vashti]

I don't suggest you give him another opportunity to "reject" you by ignoring your message, unless you are quite certain you don't care if he responds.

But yes, the way you worded it is fine.

[Starnique]

His honesty is nice considering a lot of guys will lead a girl on and get what they want out of her just because they can. I personally would've said that I didn't want to be his friend and from this point on there is absolutely nothing between you all. No need to waste anymore of my precious time, but that's just me.

Anyway, it sounds good. Your letter is genuine and he didn't see you break down. You stayed very collected.

[Starnique]

I don't think it's lame to do it on facebook, depending on how you felt over the situation btw. He's lucky to be getting any response at all.

[searock]

I'm a woman. I would just remove the part about remaining friends - that would only hurt you and frankly it would be pointless and impossible. As for the rest, it sounds good to me.

[HDBadger]

I'm a woman and I think the wording sounds fine. I would however encourage you to do this in person. Or at least over the phone. Because you're right when you say that breaking up on FB is pretty lame.

But it's not only the lameness of it - I think you'll regret doing this by letter because you'll miss out on the closing conversation. How will you feel if he doesn't reply - but simply accepts it and moves on? Will you lack a sense of 'closure' because you didn't have an actual conversation with him?

Agreed. It's weak sauce sending a break up letter, no matter how rocky the relationship has been. I'm sure many women on here will say "he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve an in-person talk," and that might be true, but it's still lame on your part.

I don't know exactly how I'd respond in this situation because I've never been in it, but I'd probably not respond to you and I'd think you were a coward to boot --- especially because he's already said he doesn't love you.

[searock]

Pff, why a coward? She just can't be bothered meeting up with a guy that literally told her he does NOT love her, just to tell him the obvious (i.e. the relationship is over). I do agree however that she may end up regretting not getting the "final" talk. It depends on whether she will be bothered by that or not.

[Simpo]

Think that is really nice of you tbh and im sure he would appreciate the letter. The friend bit is good and all but from experience being friends with your ex can be very hard and I am currently in a situation where I kind of need to be friends with her which is really hard since part of me still has feelings for her but I don't think she has any for me.

You could say one day we can be friends but for now you need time to heal and move on and go down the no contact route.

[Starnique]

No it's not cowardly. As searock said, maybe she don't want to meet up and face the guy as it may be too hard. For me it would be a sign of disrespect on purpose.

[HDBadger]

No it's not cowardly. As searock said, maybe she don't want to meet up and face the guy as it may be too hard. For me it would be a sign of disrespect on purpose.

In your opinion, it's not cowardly. In my opinion, it is.

Remember, this guy has been truthful with her. He did nothing wrong that we are aware of.

So yes, not being able to confront a man who is honest with you is cowardly. A coward is timid and lacks a spine, which is exactly how the OP is acting by not speaking to him in person.

I get it, she's upset. I've been there too, with relationships a lot longer than the OP's. But doing the right thing isn't always doing the easy thing.

I'm surprised so many people think it's okay to cut a 6-month relationship with an honest guy who has done nothing wrong using a Facebook message.

[Idainaru]

No it's not cowardly. As searock said, maybe she don't want to meet up and face the guy as it may be too hard. For me it would be a sign of disrespect on purpose.

Contradiction perhaps!?

Girl, seriously, facebook? What the heck is wrong with people today...Breaking up through facebook!? You dont break up with a bicycle, you are breaking up with a person, who, as you say, was there for you when you had very difficult times of your life. And now you are about to dump him via facebook message just because he is not same emotional level as you are?

Find some balls (even if you are girl), learn your speech, and tell him!

Good luck!

[Simpo]

Didn't see that part about facebook. I wouldn't advise doing it that way. Write the letter still but maybe go meet with him and then give him the letter for him to read or you read to him so that if he has any questions you can answer them there and then.

Direct communication can be much more effective and although may be slightly harder for you, will be a much better way of doing it. Also just sending him a letter may leave him with a lot of un answered questions which can really affect a person and leave them thinking a lot (talking from experience)

[HDBadger]

Contradiction perhaps!?

Girl, seriously, facebook? What the heck is wrong with people today...Breaking up through facebook!? You dont break up with a bicycle, you are breaking up with a person, who, as you say, was there for you when you had very difficult times of your life. And now you are about to dump him via facebook message just because he is not same emotional level as you are?

Find some balls (even if you are girl), learn your speech, and tell him!

Good luck!

Thanks for having a brain and making sense.

[searock]

So yes, not being able to confront a man who is honest with you is cowardly. A coward is timid and lacks a spine, which is exactly how the OP is acting by not speaking to him in person.

A coward is someone that WANTS to do something, but they can't because they're too afraid.

I don't think OP wants to talk to her boyfriend, after what he told her. It's pointless to talk to a guy that literally told her he doesn't love her, and frankly I don't think he even cares, so why should she? Why go through the hassle of meeting up with him and endure a tedious, painful conversation about something that was basically implicit from the moment he told her "I don't love you"? It's not worth it.

I'm surprised so many people think it's okay to cut a 6-month relationship with an honest guy who has done nothing wrong using a Facebook message.

It was never a relationship for him, it was a friends-with-benefits situation at best. It was basically a hobby for him, he was never emotionally invested in it. I'm not saying he did anything wrong, just that this arrangement between them was never a relationship, it was never so important to him, so it's perfectly fine to cut it via non-important means of communication.