Writing a letter after breaking up.

[mimioreo]

Hi guys, long story short, my boyfriend and I were in a LDR highschool/college relationship. whatever you may say, we really cared for eachother. This sunday though, we broke up. The significance of that is that we both didn't see it ocming, we were just talking to eachother about how it was getting harder, and he said "let's break up". The whole idea was how this isn't a good time, that maybe in a few years when our futures have been more defined, if we still wanted eachother then it would be better. It was a 1 year relationship unofficially, and yesterday would have marked the 10th month. Later on I asked him if he saw me with the intention of breaking up with me. He said no.

Despite the pain of losing him, we're at a good friendship "truce". We both promised eachother we'd be friends no matter what, and this isn't one of those all-talk things, it's true, just because of the relationship we had prior to the whole thing..

I still have to give him a bday card i made from a few weeks ago, and he said that he still wants it. I was thinking about writing an extra letter to put in there about some last thoughts that I don't have the guts to say to him. I also plan to tell him not to open that until some time passes. Do you think this is an ok idea? What kind of things should I avoid? I plan on putting:

-Thanks on what he's done for me
-How I really did care for him, despite not using the word love
-How I have no regrets for wht I did, but rather what I didn't do (and possibly list some, like not going out more)
-How I hope we can be the same amazing friends before we dated, and how I hope isn't those short conversation "facebook friends"
-Something like how "i know it's probably very unlikely, but maybe, like you said, in the future there may still be a chance"
-Maybe some walk down memory lane?

The point of the letter isn't to make him feel bad, or let him know how much I want him back, but more of an FYI, i've always wanted to tell you thing. He told me to tell him or ask him any questions about the breakup whenever I think of something, but I'm a letter type person... Mainly, I just want to say thanks and some thoughts I hope gets through to him. Would some of these not be a good idea, assuming he reads it after he's moved on? (Assuming he doesn't open it right away)

Sorry if that was long, but any additional thoughts would be greatly appreciated, such as what I shouldn't include, because that was just a few examples. (:

[vashti]

Whatever you write, I would leave it sit for a few days before you give it to him. The problem with these kinds of letters is that they tend to make the writer look kind of pathetic and desperate, which makes them regret sending the note when they are in more control of their emotions.

Maybe you should write the note, and then post it for critique?

[mimioreo]

I was thinking that too, the pathetic and desparate part. I thought about posting it, but some of it is just so.. "me" or "us" that posting it online would be quite embarrassing.. one of those things that other people may just not understand. If someone posted one and I read it, my reaction will be far from their own feeliings, you know? Just cause I have nothing to do with it.
Maybe I will..

It's a good thing that chances are, it won't be sent for a few weeks anyway, so I always have the time to redo or decide against it.

[what_now]

I was thinking that too, the pathetic and desparate part. I thought about posting it, but some of it is just so.. "me" or "us" that posting it online would be quite embarrassing.. one of those things that other people may just not understand. If someone posted one and I read it, my reaction will be far from their own feeliings, you know? Just cause I have nothing to do with it.
Maybe I will..

It's a good thing that chances are, it won't be sent for a few weeks anyway, so I always have the time to redo or decide against it.

I don't think you should post it. There are things that go on between relationships that no one else will understand and may judge. I think writing the letter isn't a bad thing, but definitely let it sit for a while before deciding to give it to him.

[mimioreo]

Alright, thanks a lot for the opinion. I probably wasn't going to post it anyway, outside opinions dont count lol