I'm writing this letter to break-up with my boyfriend. (Guys) How does this sound?

[Idainaru]

Why is it ok to do it via message just because he doesnt love her? Did he said to her on first day "i love you", nope he didnt? They were in relationship, and she came to a point when she is in love with him, she asked him is he in same situation, no, he told her the truth. She decided to end up, good for her. End it as human, and thats it, end of story!

[Starnique]

I know what a coward is so you wasted your time explaining that. I'm very bold and assertive. I'm not cowardly at all...never have been. Personally, I would do it through text or facebook if I wanted to be a bitch about it. Definitely not because I couldn't face him as I don't have a problem speaking my mind. Her reason is because it hurts too much. It's not about him. It's about her protecting her feelings. Coward doesn't fit this situation.

[searock]

He doesn't love her -> he doesn't care about the relationship -> she doesn't care about "hurting his feelings" by not breaking up with him face to face. That's how I see it, it makes sense. Since the relationship is not important to him, he won't care whether she breaks up with him in person or via facebook. So why should she? Should she humiliate herself with her pain showing, while he just sits there and thinks "yeah she's right, I'm glad she did it cause I didn't have the guts to do it myself"? Nah, it's just not worth it, AND it would be useless. The relationship was over the moment he told her "I don't love you" after 6 frickin' months.

[Idainaru]

Errrmm...from where did you get the conclusion that he doesnt care about her or relationship? You can be in relationship with a person and care about that person, respect her...support her...but not currently be in love with that person. If he did anything to hurt her, then ok...cheated her, treated her as crap or etc...then i agree...but just telling her the truth, when she asked...it doesnt mean he is garbage...Right?

[searock]

Yeah, I've been there. I've been the person that was NOT in love. I did care for him a lot, but I didn't care about the relationship. I actually had feelings for someone else, just like the OP's boyfriend has (he is still hung up on his stupid ex).

If he had broken up with me via facebook I would have totally understood - seriously, there is no point being in a "relationship" with someone who loves you, if you don't love them back. It's just cruel.

The only reason I "cared" about the relationship was that it gave me emotional comfort and stability. I think the same applies to the OP's boyfriend.

Just dump him already OP, he's just waiting for you to do it because he doesn't have the guts to. He needs to wake the f*ck up and stop lying to himself, he's just using you as rebound. Walk away from this emotional wreck, you can do A LOT better.

[dickriculous]

It's a long distance relationship and has only been going on for six months, if you're certain you want to break up then a simple letter is fine. No need to be overly dramatic.

Don't worry so much about your wording. This shouldn't be viewed as making you or breaking you in any way. You're sending him a message saying you want out of the relationship. Do it and be done with it. It's just a six month long distance relationship you're breaking off so I don't see the need to make something complicated out of something simple.

[dickriculous]

Errrmm...from where did you get the conclusion that he doesnt care about her or relationship? You can be in relationship with a person and care about that person, respect her...support her...but not currently be in love with that person. If he did anything to hurt her, then ok...cheated her, treated her as crap or etc...then i agree...but just telling her the truth, when she asked...it doesnt mean he is garbage...Right?

It doesn't mean he's garbage at all. If there are any undertones of animosity toward this guy in any of the posts here they are very unnecessary and very undeserved.

But most importantly, OP has decided that she can't handle a relationship with someone who doesn't love her. That's her business and only her business. It's no more our place to tell her to deal with it and stay with him than it is anyone else's place to tell us that we're obligated to love every woman we are in a relationship with.

Edit: I would agree with you under certain circumstances about how a breakup should be done face to face but this isn't that serious of a relationship. Even if he did say he loves her, it's still just a 6 month long distance relationship.

[searock]

OP has decided that she can't handle a relationship with someone who doesn't love her. That's her business and only her business.

Yes, definitely. There are people who are ok with being in relationships where they are in love with their partner but their partner isn't in love with them. OP has already made up her mind that she is NOT one of those persons though, she just wants advice on how to break up with him.

I also agree he isn't "garbage" - as long as he was always very clear that he did not love her. He is using her as a rebound but there's nothing inherently wrong with that, as I said there are people who are ok with being rebounds. OP is not one of those persons.

He isn't emotionally invested in the "relationship", which is a long-distance one anyway, I mean seriously I don't think he cares that much. He is using you as a rebound while he's still hung up on his ex. He's an emotional wreck and you can do loads better. A facebook message is more than enough - just don't say you want to "stay friends".

[dickriculous]

He is using her as a rebound

He's an emotional wreck and you can do loads better.

Where exactly are you getting these ideas? As far as I can tell OP hasn't actually told us anything about her bf other than he's not in love with her.

[searock]

Where exactly are you getting these ideas? As far as I can tell OP hasn't actually told us anything about her bf other than he's not in love with her.

In her other thread she said that immediately after telling her that he doesn't love her, he started talking about his ex girlfriend (with whom he has a child with) and how in love he was with her...

[dickriculous]

In her other thread she said that immediately after telling her that he doesn't love her, he started talking about his ex girlfriend (with whom he has a child with) and how in love he was with her...

Damn....I actually feel bad for OP if that's the case.

[Idainaru]

Me too, yeap, didnt know those facts...

[HDBadger]

I know what a coward is so you wasted your time explaining that. I'm very bold and assertive. I'm not cowardly at all...never have been. Personally, I would do it through text or facebook if I wanted to be a bitch about it. Definitely not because I couldn't face him as I don't have a problem speaking my mind. Her reason is because it hurts too much. It's not about him. It's about her protecting her feelings. Coward doesn't fit this situation.

I think you're wrong about her not being a coward, and I'm not going to debate that anymore.

The point here is that the OP obviously has something she feels is important to say to this guy, or she wouldn't have written a letter! If an adult can't speak her mind to an honest human being who has been there for her, there is a problem --- a problem that doesn't bode well for future relationships.

This is a guy, who, by all accounts, has been honest with her at every turn. If she didn't ask him, "Do you consider our relationship serious?" prior to this point, it's her fault, not his, that they weren't on the same page. There is no requirement that someone must love you after being in a relationship with you for six months. That's why you date - to see if there's something more there. In this case, there wasn't. It happens. And the guy was honest about his feelings.

If this guy had burned the OP, I understand being short with him. But he did nothing wrong. I even understand not saying anything at all and simply leaving the situation alone.

But the OP has something she wants to say, and she needs to do it in person. That's the decent thing to do, because, by her own admission, the guy has been decent to her.

If anyone is arguing that sending some kind of Facebook message is okay as a way to finalize a relationship, then we have fundamentally different views of what it means to act like an adult.

[searock]

HDBadger, this is a long distance relationship, so one of them would have to drive all the way to the other person just to finalize the break up (which is already implicit from the moment he told her he isn't in love with her): what's the point? There is no point.

She is not a coward because she doesn't want to meet up with him to tell him in person. If she wanted to do it but couldn't because of fear, then she might be a coward. It is not the case.

[Maple1714]

I have decided to break-up with my boyfriend because he told me that he does not love me. We have been dating for over six months and we're in a long-distance relationship (we only see each other once a week). My needs are not being met and frankly, I feel heartbroken. I have decided to write him a break-up letter and I was planning on sending this through Facebook. I realize that breaking up through Facebook is pretty lame, but I am too upset to talk to him. How does this break-up letter sound?

I have been thinking about our talk last night. You had looked right at me and said without hesitation that you have no love for me at all. I can appreciate your honesty and I realize that there are plenty of men out there who would lie about having feelings for someone that they’re sleeping with. Despite your honesty, I can’t stick around in an intimate relationship with a man who has no feelings like that for me. You have been a pillar of emotional support for me during very difficult times in my life and I have valued that support. I just feel that we are better off as friends, if you would be interested in maintaining some sort of friendship. I feel very strongly that you and I are not compatible in a romantic-sense. I’m sure that we would both agree on that. Take care.

Should I make any changes? I'm interested in hearing what a guy would think of this.

OP - I don't think you should send him a letter at all. You already had the conversation with him...and he told you how he feels. All sending a letter does is help get your feelings off your chest. He probably wont respond and then you will be even more hurt.

Listen, I've been in your shoes before when I was younger. I was head over heals in love with a guy...it had been a couple months. I had to ask him what the deal was, and I didn't like the answer. I sent him an email via FB further explaining how I felt etc...that is was over for me...blah blah. He never responded. The next time I saw him I went off on him for not responding...blah blah...told him he was a douche. I was even more hurt. I should have just left it alone and said F-him. I learned to never be in that position again. I promise you, if you just give him the cold shoulder now and ignore his ass...he will try to come back into your life. Don't let him though. Be strong and move on and forget him.