Finding porn ?

[searock]

She should tell him that she is unsatisfied with their sex life. If he doesn't care or is unwilling to try and fix it, then it's time to finally end the relationship.

[Wakeup]

Yeah, but that's only going to screw things up further. The GUY has no problem with the current arrangement. He's happy to just look at porn and intermittently f**k her, until something else comes up. So now she says "let's talk about our unsatisfying sex life." That will go over great, right?

What your not getting is that communication is very important if you want a relationship to last the test of time where you BOTH work to make each other happy. If one isn't willing to work at it, to try and remedy ANY discord, not just sexual ones then the union is fkd for the long haul.

*As for some "deeper issue" right now her beef is the lack of sex. They should address that and if their actual relationship doesn't improve once what's eating her up is fixed, then they can address that as it emerges. If he won't talk about something that eating him up, then she's unable to remedy if she doesn't know whats going on. Same with him. That's when couples councelling is a good idea. A therapist will help them to open up to one another.

[cbad]

Lol, if her only concern is the lack of sex, then that goes back to what I was talking about with maturity. That's my point. You can look at this superficially or you can look at the deeper issues. Your choice. As for communication, like I said, I'm all for it, but if you're not talking about the actual problem then it's pointless.

[searock]

The actual problem is their lack of a satisfying sex life. The reasons for this problem they can only figure out by talking about it. Sex is a HUGE part of a happy, healthy relationship, so when something's wrong in that department, there's a huge problem with the relationship.

They should talk about it and if he doesn't want to try and fix it, the relationship is over.

[cbad]

The actual problem is their lack of a satisfying sex life.

Not really, but that's OK.

[Wakeup]

Talking to him about the problem and spicing up the sex life may have been a good idea 10-11 months ago but now? It's been a year...that's a very long time for a problem like this to fester. How often do you go a full year without wanting to have sex with someone and all of a sudden a good talk and an offer to do ass to mouth makes you horny for that person again?

imo OP's bf is past the point of no return. Porn may not be an issue in and of itself. But in this case it really does seem that he has no sexual interest in OP anymore and the porn has become his outlet because he has to get off SOMEHOW. Without the porn maybe he would still be having sex with OP but only because he wouldn't have another option other than breaking up or cheating, he would be sticking his penis in her by default. What kind of sex life is that? She would still be here complaining, just not about the exact same issue.

This is a defeatest attitude and one from the "throwaway" generation where it's just easier to throw it away and get a new one. That goes from phones that still work to relationships that can be fixed.

No relationship with improve if there is no effort or communication to remedy. If she loves him, and he still loves her then there is still a chance of getting back on track... but, you have to not have the attitude that a year is past so the relationship is done.

[Wakeup]

Talking to him about the problem and spicing up the sex life may have been a good idea 10-11 months ago but now? It's been a year...that's a very long time for a problem like this to fester. How often do you go a full year without wanting to have sex with someone and all of a sudden a good talk and an offer to do ass to mouth makes you horny for that person again?

imo OP's bf is past the point of no return. Porn may not be an issue in and of itself. But in this case it really does seem that he has no sexual interest in OP anymore and the porn has become his outlet because he has to get off SOMEHOW. Without the porn maybe he would still be having sex with OP but only because he wouldn't have another option other than breaking up or cheating, he would be sticking his penis in her by default. What kind of sex life is that? She would still be here complaining, just not about the exact same issue.

This is a defeatest attitude and one from the "throwaway" generation where it's just easier to throw it away and get a new one. That goes from phones that still work to relationships that can be fixed.

No relationship will improve if there is no effort or communication to remedy. If she loves him, and he still loves her then there is still a chance of getting back on track... but, you have to not have the attitude that a year is past so the relationship is done.

Not really, but that's OK.

It is the issue at hand.

[cbad]

No, it's not the issue at all. It's a reflection of the underlying problem.

[searock]

No, it's not the issue at all. It's a reflection of the underlying problem.

That's why they need to talk about it to find out what the reasons are................... as we've said........................................

[Wakeup]

No, it's not the issue at all. It's a reflection of the underlying problem.

... lol ... Shall I quote you? "not really, but thats okay." OP has stated what she wants us to address. Get that out of the way and then lets see what happens after that. She can come back in and tell us what else had cropped up once (and if) they remedy the sexual one.

[cbad]

That's great, but that's only a reflection of her inability to identify the actual issue. And yours.

[Wakeup]

Oh great, we have a male Michelle amongst us. *sighs*

Anyway, sorry, I didn't know you knew them and had lived with them thereby through witness had sussed out their actual issue.

[searock]

Nah, Michelle isn't so dim-witted and annoying..! I wonder where she is btw?

[Wakeup]

differing of opinion I guess... shhhhhh, let a sleeping baby sleep.

[pcmaster]

Nah, Michelle isn't so dim-witted and annoying..! I wonder where she is btw?

Michelle is building career by managing clothing shop now.