Finding porn ?

[Ellebee]

I'm not a hard ass girlfriend or anything I don't mind t shirts with naked girls hel I pick them out but recently my boyfriend of two years for the past year or so lay all sex drive and attraction towards me so it seems . I was looking in his phone the other day not to find anything just looking and I came across several nude pictures of women ... Tons of them. I just don't understand I practically throw myself at him and offer to do sexual things in his favor and he just rejects me with things such as not now babe later or I'm just tired . I have low self esteem when it comes to some things such as my ass it's small but not flat or fat . It truly hurt my feelings and is weighing heavily on my mind even though I told him I would drop it. But now it made me wonder is he not having sex with me because he would rather look at porn pictures ? I'm nothing special , 5'3 36C and wear a size 5 in jeans . But these women , they're gorgeous and it just totally killed me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Someone help ? I know looking in his phone wasn't right but I honestly e wasn't looking to find anything and came across those he had no explanation which I expected . Advice ?

[pcmaster]

Well its not fault since guy watching porn. Its possible to ignore any women when your mind is in other side of the screen. And now thouse women have something that you dont have - confidence. ou dont have to be like these pornstars cause you are you. Also your guy is not a supermodel himself. If you think hes good then you are seeing just a reflection of your perfection.
If you waant bigger ass you can do some squads and eat more protein. But just for youself cause its realy boils down to confidence which short girls ussualy lacks. Being short means your metabolism is naturaly high so its hard for you to get fat which is great. Also it means you have high sex drive which could leave you frustated in your current situation with "cheating" BF.

I have met a lot amazing short girls whos been taking heavy shit from others just because naturaly its easy to disrespect short people. Know there is no logic but it naturaly how it is sometimes.

Anyway advice is dont trow yourself to him for few weeks and sudenly he will realize that hes horny. Also delete all the pics from his phone(you have rights to do it you have my permision) and put there your photos. Meanwhile do exercise go to gym or run so you can use your spare energy somwhere. Be creative and your confidence will come back. Stick with your passions and seek for emotional support at friends.

[HeartIsAching]

Yeah, I have some advice.

1. Stop being dishonest. You were looking in his phone to find something.
2. Be a realist - almost all men look at porn. I have a very active and healthy sex life, and I still do. It doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive.
3. Back to the honesty bit - if he's not much into it with you, but has lots of porn... he's bored. How varied is your sex life? What have you done to try and spice it up? What new things have you tried or offered to try with him?

[searock]

The problem is that your sex life isn't good. Unless he has a porn addiction that is making him less interested in sex, porn isn't the problem. You need to talk to him about the lack of sex in your relationship. Try to find the reason for it, and decide whether you want to try to fix it. Don't even mention the porn unless he brings it up, the focus should be on your sex life.

[Jffs24]

Talk to him if it bothers ya, ffs, you are a couple, couples should be able to discuss anything.
Why would he keep them on his phone, does he have a home computer too? Obviously they weren't pics women he knows gave him, so were only shit he DL'd off the net.
Maybe he likes to masturbate in his car and at his work, lmao I don't get why the dude needs it on his phone otherwise. Again, talk to him, obviously it is making you feel insecure.

[Wakeup]

If you come back and say you have spoken to him about it then could you please tell us what you said to him, what he said back and how the conversation ended.

Maybe we can give you some tips on how to actually get your point across like: "I'm not sure if you understood how important a regular sex life is to me so I'm going to spell it out to you: Lets do something like we used to do when you first met me and were anxious to get into my pants. Maybe if we did more then just take each other for granted, worked, came home and then did it all over again the next day, we'd get back our passion for one another. What do you suggest, because something has to change or there is no sense to our relationship so lets work on this together." "How about an overnighter where we put the focus on one another with no computer/cell/television distractions to start the ball rolling?"

And do, do what Sea suggests and don't make the focus of your conversation about porn or your snooping.

[Exeter19]

just because he looks at porn doesn't mean he no longer finds you attractive, something else is going on and most guys and women too look at porn for whatever reasons. porn is minor over him actually cheating on you, isn't it? can't fix your relationship talking to us, only to him. gl

[cbad]

The responses on this page are amusing. Did it ever occur to you guys that the OP and her boyfriend are not terribly mature? For example, who wears T-shirts with naked women on them? Or picks those T-shirts out for others? The reason her boyfriend looks at porn is because he's a superficial person, not because their sex life isn't good. That's the sad part. You guys tell her that and her response will be to go "oh, OK, I guess I need to put out more and it's my fault" and she will. And guess what? NOTHING WILL CHANGE. He'll still look at porn. And by the way, she also needs to mature, since she's the one who picked out this sterling guy.

[searock]

cbad, there's nothing wrong with watching porn, most guys do it and it doesn't make them superficial, it's just masturbation material. Unless he has a porn addiction that negatively interferes with his sex life, the problem isn't porn, it's their lack of a satisfying sex life. They need to discuss that and to try to find out the reasons for it.

I do agree the naked women t-shirts are quite distasteful and sexist. I wouldn't want to be associated with a person that wears them.

[dickriculous]

Talking to him about the problem and spicing up the sex life may have been a good idea 10-11 months ago but now? It's been a year...that's a very long time for a problem like this to fester. How often do you go a full year without wanting to have sex with someone and all of a sudden a good talk and an offer to do ass to mouth makes you horny for that person again?

imo OP's bf is past the point of no return. Porn may not be an issue in and of itself. But in this case it really does seem that he has no sexual interest in OP anymore and the porn has become his outlet because he has to get off SOMEHOW. Without the porn maybe he would still be having sex with OP but only because he wouldn't have another option other than breaking up or cheating, he would be sticking his penis in her by default. What kind of sex life is that? She would still be here complaining, just not about the exact same issue.

[cbad]

I agree with dickriculous. Basically, the OP is currently just the place the guy puts his penis, but it's really just by default.

[searock]

Yeah, it may be too late. But how else are they going to solve it, one way or the other? I think they should talk about it - at least, she should tell him that she's unhappy with their sex life. Then they can decide whether to try and fix it somehow, or that it's too late for that, and break up. It can't go on like this, it's a fake relationship that is wasting both of their time.

[cbad]

I think talking about it is always a good idea. I'm always an advocate of talking about things with each other. I just think that it won't accomplish much in this particular situation because most guys will just assume that it's some woman harping about porn when in fact there's a deeper issue. But, yeah, if she wants to talk to him, that's totally great.

[searock]

That's why we told her she shouldn't talk about porn, she should talk about their lack of a satisfying sex life. This (not porn, unless porn is causing it, which is a possibility) is the problem, and this is what they should talk about.

[cbad]

Yeah, but that's only going to screw things up further. The GUY has no problem with the current arrangement. He's happy to just look at porn and intermittently f**k her, until something else comes up. So now she says "let's talk about our unsatisfying sex life." That will go over great, right?