Is he into me? On line dating.

[Valixy]

My dog is getting better. He is already walking.

Great! You'll both recover actually!

[bluenote99]

Thank you.. Sex is not easy to come by though. Cos I want it with a guy that I like. With a nice attractive intelligent guy and those guys have very high standards. I am a pretty woman but I don't think that I am classically beautiful or outrageously attractive. And yeah looks aren't everything but I haven't got a mentally healthy personality to impress. And also there is an illusion of infinite choice on dating sites... That's why I have no success.

you are clearly aware you're an attractive girl and i hardly think theres much wrong with your personality other than perhaps feeling a little needy,you're chatting easily enough on here,as i said a little work on your self esteem would work wonders you should be the one making guys feel lucky at having the chance to chat with you and possibly get to know you better,chin up

[Lilia]

you are clearly aware you're an attractive girl and i hardly think theres much wrong with your personality other than perhaps feeling a little needy,you're chatting easily enough on here,as i said a little work on your self esteem would work wonders you should be the one making guys feel lucky at having the chance to chat with you and possibly get to know you better,chin up

Oh thanks! Wow.. you are right.. And English is not even my first language. You boosted up my self esteem quite a bit!

[bluenote99]

oh and i'd just like to add i think you may have the wrong impression regarding good looking guys,i'm nearly 40 now but in my twenties i was considered very attractive,however the girls i went for were by no means all supermodels,i looked for something a bit more than that indeed the girl i ended up marrying (divorced now sadly) was a size 18 so hardly kate moss but i wanted to commit to her for life nonetheless,guess what i'm trying to say is that a decent guy regardless of how good looking he may be will look beyond the surface of a girl hes interested in

[Lilia]

oh and i'd just like to add i think you may have the wrong impression regarding good looking guys,i'm nearly 40 now but in my twenties i was considered very attractive,however the girls i went for were by no means all supermodels,i looked for something a bit more than that indeed the girl i ended up marrying (divorced now sadly) was a size 18 so hardly kate moss but i wanted to commit to her for life nonetheless,guess what i'm trying to say is that a decent guy regardless of how good looking he may be will look beyond the surface of a girl hes interested in

Thank you for sharing this = )

[pcmaster]

Thats right and decent girls look beyond surface too.

[bluenote99]

theres certainly hope for you yet!

[smackie9]

Be very careful what you wish for...if you have low self esteem most likely the next guy will be an abuser because that is what abusers look for....someone who is emotionally vulnerable and low self esteem. That is why everyone is telling you to help yourself first before presenting yourself to the dating world.

[Lilia]

It's been 4 days since the guy and I had a video chat. Still heard nothing from him but he didn't delete me on Skype. I wonder if he found me at least a little bit attractive. May be he did cos he stayed with me for 1 hour? And also the connection was very bad and the video stopped about 10 times and he kept calling me back. He could've easily made an excuse that the connection was too bad so he wouldn't have to call me back again. But damn it he kept calling me back! He even asked in the middle of the conversation if it's all right for me to keep chatting cos it was quite late. I hope that if he didn't like my personality , he at least liked the look. Or why would he stay for so long on the camera? May be he wanted to have a sexy chat though.. He brought up that show "Californication" and asked if I liked reading erotic stories... But I was too stupid to get the hint. ( I brought up some erotic classical literature like Maupassant. And of course you can hardly call his stories erotic from the modern point of view....The guy seemed to be the intellectual type so I kinda wanted to show that I was not stupid either...He looked at my pictures on my profile 2 days ago... Does that mean anything? I've been thinking about it all day again.(

[pcmaster]

Just call him. What do you have to lose anyway.

[Lilia]

I am afraid I will appear as a clinging person...or to be ignored or turned down by him directly. Calling him before we have at least a small chat might be impolite...I don't even know how to start a chat with him..It must be something interesting, something to lure him in, not just plane "hi how are you". Last time I asked a sexual question and he suggested having a video chat right away. May be it has to be something sexual again. But I don't want to look desperate.

[bluenote99]

you're still worrying far too much Lilia i think its clear this guy is interested, men don't often waste hours of their time chatting up women they're not at least a little bit keen on, have confidence in yourself send him a text,have a chat or mail him one of you needs to make a move

[smackie9]

He is keeping his options open dear so stop fretting over this by waiting by the phone. Focus on getting your life back together.....obsessing is so unattractive.

[pcmaster]

Well just show interest if you have it. If you dont wana know how is he then ask something else. Just be yourself and if its not gona work then what will? Dont give a guy too much value before anything have even started. So what if hes cute? You are good looking too. Think of yourself as equal. Its realy about being who you wana be in the moment and doing what you wana do. When you hesitade to speak with people few seconds is enought for negative thoughts to kreep in your mind(these thoughts drains your energy). Dont waste a second be spontaneos and in this way you will be more sucsesful. Dont set any goals just focus on having a good time and pressure gona be off this way.

[Wakeup]

I am afraid I will appear as a clinging person...or to be ignored or turned down by him directly. Calling him before we have at least a small chat might be impolite...I don't even know how to start a chat with him..It must be something interesting, something to lure him in, not just plane "hi how are you". Last time I asked a sexual question and he suggested having a video chat right away. May be it has to be something sexual again. But I don't want to look desperate.

If you don't want to look desperate then don't have a sexual video chat with him. As soon as you do that without having even met him, you will be telling him that is your role in his life, to masturbate and nothing more with him over camera. Don't you want a decent man who will actually be in your life, take you on dates, fall in love with you eventually?

You need some councelling and a "buddy system" where you have a same sex friend that will talk you down off the ledge when you get so desperate that you'd drop trow for some ****tard you've only have one conversation with.