What was going on here? Is this a hopeless situation?

[southerngreek]

Indeed man. Good on you. If nothing else, your presence in her life has given her pause for thought. She may have needed to hear what you had to say and perhaps she'll gain insight, have an epiphany of sorts due in large to your brute truth.
Don't let her use you. You know this already.
I feel for her, I do. I can't help but to feel that if she could see herself through your eyes, she'd stop the facade of questionable behaviors and shed the shit so to speak; become herself again.
But this is not your responsibility; she'll either get there on her own or not get there at all.

Hey, you got to share some time with this girl and she got to share some with you. Perhaps through this, she'll realize not everyone is out to get her.

Perhaps. I don't know what she's thinking at this point. I hope I had a positive impact on her life - I know I did - she had told me as such in July after the 2 months apart when she told me she missed being around me. I just don't understand why she did what she did unless it has to do with her anxiety issues and it's just a personality flaw she struggles with. I do feel for her, but like you said, it's not my responsibility to get her to grow up despite how much I wish I could help her. I did care for her as a friend and I don't want to see her do that to herself.

I'm going to give this time. Like you said, this needs time to forget and to heal. If she is still holding a grudge against me in 2-3 months time, perhaps she isn't the type I need to ever worry about again, but I doubt that will happen. She liked me, otherwise I have no clue why she did what she did when we were seeing each other.

I feel okay with where I am and while I miss her company, perhaps we needed to have happen what happened. I'd like to think it was somewhat of a realization to her, but that may be wishful thinking. She could be a great girl though - I could already see it. I just think she is her own worst enemy.

[southerngreek]

Well, the ice broke last night.

I went to a harbor cruise with my grad school. She was there. I did not speak to her the entire night, but I did see her. We walked by each other several times. Later that night, we all went out to a bar. As I left the parking garage, I heard someone shout my name and I turned around and it was her. She said "I'm drunk" and then we started an awkward conversation. She went to a bar with me and then told me "I have forgiven you, but we can't be friends. I can't be with someone who harbors feelings like what you said."

I have no idea why she did that unless it was some ploy to start getting back with me. I told her I never asked to be her friend again, and I was merely sorry for my behavior. Then she left.

I guess I'm not surprised. She looked pretty miserable all night while I showed up with a large group of friends and had a good time, even talking and hanging out with her roommate for quite a bit.

[southerngreek]

Can any females give me insight into what this may mean? Does she want attention and did the fact that I talked to her roommate and bought her a drink at the cruise influence her to finally decide to break the ice? And why would she go to such lengths to tell me "we can be civil in class again but not be friends" when I already got that from her nonresponse to my email a few weeks ago, spending 30 minutes at a bar with me of all places?

It wasn't like we weren't being civil anyway. We just had not spoken but I had no reason to speak to her. I didn't go out of my way to ignore her. She was just never included in anything I was doing in school. Is this just for attention or does she want to be friends but is actually too afraid to do that because she thinks she will make me mad again?

[smackie9]

I guess she thinks she is being ignored because you are not going out of your way to talk to her...in her mind she won't give you a relationship so she gets blown off by you. If you want a friendship, then just text her a message hi how are you doing.

She wants friendship? who knows, just wants the attention? possibly....you won't know unless you talk to her about where you both stand....this was the same problem as before when you two were boinkin. Don't ask us, ask her.

[southerngreek]

If she communicates with me again, I am going to ask her flat out what she wants from me and to stop wasting my time if she just wants to play a game now. I think if I cornered her, she will finally come clean with whatever she's looking for.

[SpreadTheLove]

To be honest with you dude, I do not understand where you are coming from. I don't think it was fair for you to let everyone else's opinion of her affect your feelings for her and view her as she was using you. You were using her too and didn't want to commit. Then you say you miss her and seem wistful for her to come back to you. I don't think thats cool. You need to look at yourself, stop listening to what others say, and figure out what you want in life.

I have learned form my experience is that you never listen to anyone else when it comes to a relationship you have with another person. People will always have comments about people but it is up to you to determine whether someone is for you or not. You obviously really liked this girl but you were afraid of commitment and didn't man up. She clearly liked you alot and wanted to be serious with you (and actually seemed to have done so much and go out of her way for you) and tell the world about it (thats a big deal for a girl to want to show everyone that they are with you) but you kept pushing her away and pushing away the idea of making her your girlfriend but still expecting alot. It seemed you were being unrealisitic, thinking she would always be there waiting for you, and to be there at your becking call when you felt like hooking up with her.

You were playing with her heart and lost her because you didn't know what you wanted. Figure yourself out and then real answers will come to you and things will make more sense.Thats that.

-Krystle

[SpreadTheLove]

I am totally with you with all that you say too smackie9.