Is he into me? On line dating.

[Lilia]

I don't want to continue this thread anymore.

[Wakeup]

Perhaps he wasnt sure about himself and when you told that you cant go that day he took it as excuse. Ask him on a date and see what he replies. He placed himself in vulnerable position when asked you out.

Yea and he did it last minute without having spoken to her at all prior to 7pm. So don't blame yourself, OP and don't let anyone make you feel guilty or that YOU did something wrong for not being available last minute like he suggested you do.

I'd not have been available either (IF I were single) because I have a life other then waiting around for some dufus who can't make plans in advance. Men who do what he did are likely putting you as an option and certainly not a priority.

Next him and don't bother with him anymore. Take some time out to work on that loving yourself and getting some hobbies and same sex friendships so you will be happy within and with your friends and then online date or otherwise meet men.

[mollymari]

This is exactly how I felt... like it sent me back to hell again...
I'd like to date more guys but I am afraid I will go through the same drama with each of them. I can't even deal with one date now.
It is like even if I don't like the guy I desperately need him to like me anyway.

Dear Lilia, from what I gather, from all you have said, your last line above^^,"it is like even if I don't like the guy, I desperately need him to like me anyway", yeah, that's what get's me making a funny facial expression. What are you doing? Your bullshitting yourself a little here, what do you think? Maybe a little? Come on; you sound like a fairly sweet by nature young lady who may be a little too preoccupied with anything but what strikes it on home;
Why are you giving away your power? Perhaps the time is NOW to sit yourself down and ask your self, ask it hard, why you be doing this?. Why are you giving away your power?

Perhaps if you stop allowing your preconceived notions of what a relationship is and take some notes, reflect upon, take your self outside your self and look in, a good hard look, re evaluate and learn about what a 'healthy' relationship is all about, learn it from an outside source if that helps. At the end of the day, sure, we all have problems, issues but the treatment of each other in a generally healthy relationship is 'good', it is loving and it is kind, protective and wonderful; and at the end of each day, your safe and it is good

Have fun but don't let the small stuff bring you down

you've had allot of good advice from others on this thread. People care, don't forget it. we all be strangers but we do keep it real. People feel for you. YOu need to take better care of yourself and remember your self worth is more than you seem to be giving it right now. Work on it.

[Lilia]

Take some time out to work on that loving yourself and getting some hobbies and same sex friendships so you will be happy within and with your friends and then online date or otherwise meet men.

Thank you, I agree with everything. I only don't understand why you're all talking about hobbies and the same sex friendships. I've tried all that and I have a friend who I used to see every week. And that was a burden. I never had any interest in her problems and her life. When she had problems I was happy about that. When everything was fine with her I was secretly wishing bad things on her. She was convinced I was the nicest person on the planet. I know that sounds terrible but that's what I've always been like with other girls.

[Lilia]

Have fun but don't let the small stuff bring you down
you've had allot of good advice from others on this thread. People care, don't forget it. we all be strangers but we do keep it real. People feel for you. YOu need to take better care of yourself and remember your self worth is more than you seem to be giving it right now. Work on it.

Thank you, people have been very kind to me on this forum...I appreciate this guys.

[Lilia]

Next him and don't bother with him anymore.

You mean "text him"? I should send him the good bye text?

[Lilia]

The guy finally replied. He wants to meet tonight at 5 pm. I have all sorts of mixed emotions. It is very tempting to see him but I feel like telling him that Last night I already made some plans with my friends for this evening cos he didn't reply.

[Lilia]

The guy wanted to meet today and he made a hint that he doesn't want to meet me for "nothing".
I said " you just want me to go to your place for 1 night stand?"
He said "No!! But I have to admit I am attracted! I suggest, you decide."
I said " ok so let's meet at the center of the city and I'll see if we have good chemistry. Kissing usually helps. And I'll tell you tomorrow if I want more"
He said "Sounds childish. I prefer not to play. Kissing without a feeling makes no sense."
I said "I am not into games. If your kiss arouses me I'll go to your place. if not- sex won't be good"
He said "Aha, does it usually work, this negotiation technique? I see you are not confident here to simply have sex. I am not forcing you. if you say no I will fully respect it.No problem"
I said "I want to have sex. I need 1 more date. That's it."
He said "Yes but may be that's the point. You want to have sex with me or not and I want to have sex with you. Here is disagreement. I don't think 1 more date will clear your mind"
I said "I want to have sex with you. I like you. I am not into other guys. And I've only been with 1 guy before!"
He said "I see I don't want you to be afraid, let's meet for 1 more "date" and you will make up your mind then"
He even put the word "date" in quotation marks! So it is not even a date to him!
The guy sounds like a complete jerk! He didn't even want to give it 1 more date! What a douche.
I'd totally go for it if he had not been so direct and hadn't acted like an a**hole.
I still want to go on a second date. Just for fun. I'll tease him and he will get no sex. Period.

[pcmaster]

Its actually interesting to read when you write about what you feel and think. Its like helps me understand other girls and actions that I saw but didnt realy understand before. Also this guy have this ussual insecurity and without even listening and believing what you saying hes putting you in woman category who wants to have good time but dont wana go to the end.(He dont understand that he have to make a girl feel that way first but he havent even kissed you) If he only knew how easy it is. But his own doubt in himself and in you keeps him away from sucsess.

[Lilia]

Its actually interesting to read when you write about what you feel and think. Its like helps me understand other girls and actions that I saw but didnt realy understand before. Also this guy have this ussual insecurity and without even listening and believing what you saying hes putting you in woman category who wants to have good time but dont wana go to the end.(He dont understand that he have to make a girl feel that way first but he havent even kissed you) If he only knew how easy it is. But his own doubt in himself and in you keeps him away from sucsess.

It is interesting to see your perspective too...cos you are saying that the guy is insecure but to me it looks like the guy is rather spoilt, brazen and overly confident.
it is like he has hundreds of girls chasing him and that's why he didn't even want to to go on a second date with me. Cos he thinks that he will find someone else then. And why wouldn't he? He is extremely attractive and wealthy. He lives in a district for millionaires. I am not a gold digger but for many girls it is a big deal.
Do such guys have insecurities?
The other thing that makes me wonder a lot is that his reply to my msg "do you want me for 1 night stand only?" was "No!! but I have to admit I am attracted"
Why did he say "NO"? Did he lie or he wants to go for a few nights and not just 1?

[Lilia]

I also don't understand why he said "You want to have sex with me or not and I want to have sex with you. Here is disagreement." It is like he was thinking that It didn't matter to me who I sleep with. Like there are so many guys around me who I am about to have sex with.

[pcmaster]

He reminds me old friend. He was good looking and kinda wealthy. But he always dated the most beautiful girls and did crazy things for them and spend a lot of money but always ended without sex cause was thinking that all the girls are the same and you have to do this and that to get them in bed. In the end he met friends fat sister who fcked him on first date. And he fell in love even despite she wasnt attractive(she took his virginity). They spend years together as a couple. That friend also was spoilted and if he did something good for others it was because there was something in it for him too.

[Lilia]

He reminds me old friend. He was good looking and kinda wealthy. But he always dated the most beautiful girls and did crazy things for them and spend a lot of money but always ended without sex cause was thinking that all the girls are the same and you have to do this and that to get them in bed. In the end he met friends fat sister who fcked him on first date. And he fell in love even despite she wasnt attractive(she took his virginity). They spend years together as a couple. That friend also was spoilted and if he did something good for others it was because there was something in it for him too.

That's a very funny and interesting story! I like the ending. =)) It also reveals a lot about male psychology...

[pcmaster]

Maybe they are still together. I just lost contact with him 3 years later.

[fearoflove]

Okay. So, he is good looking and SEEM wealthy. Not a BIG deal if there is no connection. You are desperate for him for all the wrong reasons. You know nothing about him and you are too willing to sleep with him. He is probably losing interest because you are giving sex to him too easily. Not making solid plans is a huge sign of low interest. I don't think anything good will come out of this.