Very worried about the future, advice would be very much appreciated.

[confusedman2013]

Hello everyone.

I am 27 years old, turning 28 in a few weeks time. I have been through a few relationships in the past and they've all been bad experiences. Sometimes my own fault, sometimes my partner's fault and other times both our faults.

I am very worried about the future because a lot of my friends are in tight relationships, engaged of even married with children and I'm not. I have no children either. I have a good job, decent looking guy and generally well mannered and know what I want in life but that special someone just doesn't seem to be any nearer and it really worries me :-(

Anyone any advice or in the same boat before and it worked out for them?

Thanks to everyone

[Heart Healer]

Hi confusedman2013,


Just two cents : Don't run after love. If you are seeking love like this, you'll never gonna have it. For love, its very important for things to happen naturally and at the right time. Your past relationships ended because there was ideally no love. Had you or any of your partner been in love with each other, this would not have happen. When you love someone from heart, you try to save your relationship at any cost. Even after breakup, you try your level best to recollect things up and make things workout again. This urge of staying together, howsoever bad things may happen, was missing in your past relationships. The feeling of sacrifice, the considerations, the eagerness was not there at all...else it would have been much easier to save your past relationships.

Try to get married to someone of your choice. like arrange marriage. Allow your parents or elders to choose a girl for you, a best match perhaps. Connect with her, try to become serious, experience the courtship period and if things go right, get married. Is that a bad idea? I don't think so. Your parents will choose the best for you, if you have been failing all this while. Give them a chance..try to trust them.

[weez]

The good news is that you're still under 30! Lots of time left for dating ahead of you. I've felt depressed and down after my long term relationships, but it has always gotten better. Sometimes it takes a while, but good things can happen.

<arranged marriage....only if you're still in the dark ages....but that's not to say parents can't have good advice>

[TheEvilJester]

Trust me, confused, I know how you feel. But, in this day and age, people are getting married and having kids much later in life than they used to in the past. Especially with divorce rates so high, many people wind up in the wrong marriage for a while before later moving on and finding the right one.

I'm right there with you. I just turned 30, and got out of a relatively short marriage, but what was a relatively long relationship. I wasted nearly a decade of my life with somebody who didn't deserve me from the start, and it took me that long to realize it. It is hard not to look back on that and sort of wonder what would have happened if I could have found the right person within that timeframe, instead of being stuck with the wrong person.

But, you can't dwell on the past. What happened happened. You cannot change it, so best just to move on. I do agree with HeartHealer's point about not searching for love. I would change that just a bit myself, though. I think it is okay to look for love (After all, isn't that what most of us are doing when we date people?) but just don't expect it to necessarily come along right away. Just let things flow naturally. In other words, it is okay to have the ultimate goal of finding love, but don't be so desperate to find it that you idealize somebody who is not really a good match for you. I can attest to the fact that, even when you DON'T idealize somebody, sometimes they prove to be no good for you. My situation wasn't a case of idealizing my ex until I woke up and realized who she really was. My case was somebody who either changed completely, or lied about who she was from day one. So, as you can see it is hard enough without being too desperate to find love. So, just go with the flow and eventually it will happen. Good luck!

[michelle23]

Maybe youll find what your looking for if you stop looking. Sometimes the best things just land in front of you when your not expecting it. Stop worrying so much. Whats meant to be will be

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