Worried about my future.

[Obmirk]

Hi,

I've been thinking about my relationship with my girlfriend for quite a while now and I never truly decide whats best.
I'm 19 years old, currently studying at university close to home so I still live at home, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years in a couple of months. We got together when we were both 16 and now we're both 19, both of our first serious relationships and we lost our virginity together and therefore only slept with one another.

My girlfriend is a great girl. Beautiful, slim, studying at university with hopes of a good career, my whole family adores her as do hers for me, honest, trustworthy. What any guy would want ideally. Anyway, things were great - and don't get me wrong we don't have any problems still now. Neither of us really go out or drink which causes most problems, we're not into that stuff.

So ever since we've been together we stay over a few nights a week, I take her to university sometimes in the morning or pick her up etc. We go out for a meal and to the cinema once a fortnight I'd say. We're both in our first years at university and I keep feeling really paranoid about my future. The friends I used to have aren't guys I'd like to hang around with now so I only have a couple of friends from university. I never get a chance to go out for a drink since I don't have any friends that are into that sort of thing. I've only slept with my girlfriend and nobody else, I haven't had any other serious relationships.

Lately, I feel like I'm not that bothered about her any more. We've been together quite a while now and I just don't feel as attracted to her or as much love for her anymore. The thing I'm most worried about is when I'm 30 and I look back on life, didn't drink when I was young or party, have fun with friends or even sleep with another girl. I don't want to regret my life once it's too late but my girlfriend is such a nice girl. I'd love to marry her and start a family one day. But I don't know which route I should take? I do still love her but I'm worrying about the long run. I don't want to feel like I've wasted my life. Honestly, I wish I never met her sometimes because then this wouldn't be hard.

I really don't know what I should do. Its like I have two options and I don't know which one I should choose.
Can anybody give me some advice on what they think?
Thank you.

[JJhon]

You need to ask yourself, if you dump her, and start hangout with your friends, do you think that you will find another girl like you are leaving behind?

Cause man! You need to tell ne where your trash can!!

Sent from my Galaxy S2

[Tammy]

Hi,

You are so young, so of course you're wondering about lots of things.
First of, you say you're not into drinking, yet you do wanna go out and drink?
If that's the case, then tell your girl you want to try that and take her with you or:
make a friend and go out with them.

As far as intimacy, how does she feel about you? Is she committed to spend her life with you, only sleep with you?
Chances are that she's wondering about the same things, 'cause you're both very young adults trying to make sense of life and what you want.

I wouldn't make any rash decisions, I would figure things out and talk to your girl, be honest about what you're going through.
Don't forget what you got going with her, because it sounds like she can be the one for you. If she has everything you need, what's the problem?
Maybe you won't find her qualities that speak to you in another girl.

If you wanna feel young and experiment and go out, that can easily be arranged without breaking up with your girlfriend.
Just give each other space, you do need to keep that open and honest communication. Don't grow apart.
And since you're both young, try doing different things together. You can have an exciting life WITH her, why not? ; )

[michelle23]

First of all breaking up with her just so you can experience sex with other people is a bad move-if you and se are sexually compatable and your sex life is good-you are not missing out on anything. One-night stands are emotionally draining and will just leave you feeling bad about yourself and most people who do that-come to regret it big time one day. The emotional connection you have with her is much more fulfilling and meaningful.

I dont see why you cant experience all the other things you speak of together. You should go out for drinks together, socialize with other couples, have mutual friends-that makes it more fun.

Its normal to go through a period of doubts but if your lucky enough to meet someone who ticks all the boxes and makes you happy 80% of the time-youd be mad to let that go.

I was 19 when i met my partner and only slept with one other person before that (which was a bad experience) and hes only slept with 2people before me (which he was also not compatable with) were together almost 5years and our sex life is amazing and it seems to get better and better.

I suggest you spice things up with your girl (try all the positions in the kama sutra and find a few more you both like) try to figure out how to give her a gspot orgasm or make her squirt, try nipple orgasms etc. You can make it more fun and exciting and its better to explore these things with someone you love and trust.

Look up the signs of a healthy relationship, thinking the grass is greener, the stages of a relationship.

You shouldnt have any regrets. You have something special that most people would give anything to have. All those single people are looking for love trying to find what you have.

If you cant get past these doubts soon-then you may have to end it-but if its over-youll find it hard to find someone so special again so you need to be 100% sure.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Michelle is right, but it's really hard advice to swallow. Banging lots of girls is fun, but not worth giving up a hot, smart, cool girl that you can't seemingly find a bad thing to say about. This is a situation where you will instantly regret it. I think you should give your relationship more time and only leave if you have specific, clear cut reasons to get out. Try to find some other things to do together, doesn't even have to be the crazy sexual stuff Michelle was referring to.

[michelle23]

You might think its fun but its not for everyone and a lot of men on here have pm me asking for advicr coz thety hate their past and have a lot of regrets. People who do that are trying to fill a void-i no you dont agree with me but you might one day.

[pcmaster]

Few weeks or months without her will make you see her with new eyes. Even more beautiful and interesting. Dont split up but if you or her have to go somwhere alone then use it.

[michelle23]

If they go on a break it will hurt her and they may find it v difficult to get things back to the way they were.

[pcmaster]

Not intentionaly ofcourse, but lets say visit parents or go to a trip with friends. Thats absolutly normal and is healthy.

[michelle23]

Ya maybe you just need to spend a little time away from her. Can you think of an excuse not to see her for a week? Give yourself some time to miss her.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You might think its fun but its not for everyone and a lot of men on here have pm me asking for advicr coz thety hate their past and have a lot of regrets. People who do that are trying to fill a void-i no you dont agree with me but you might one day.

I didn't say it's for everyone, nor did I suggest he do it...

I agree it fills a void. The void of not having what this guy already has, which is why I suggested he not give that up until he's sure.

[michelle23]

Lol its more than that for some men. The need to stroke their ego, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of being hurt, no self-respect, trying to prove a point etc etc.

Bottom line = issues

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Lol its more than that for some men. The need to stroke their ego, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, fear of being hurt, no self-respect, trying to prove a point etc etc.

Bottom line = issues

I can't disagree that for some it is, but all of those reasons, besides fear of commitment, are frequently reasons people get into or stay in bad relationships as well. I think its good to know what's out there, and say what you want, but it's natural for people to want more than one partner, so I don't think someone that wants to date around, or even sleep around has issues, simply because of that. What's a guy supposed to do when he's horny, but doesn't want a relationship at the time for whatever reason?

[basilandthyme]

Obmirk, is it possible that the two of you have simply grown apart from each other? I broke up with my first boyfriend not because he was a bad person but because in the time from 15 to 17, we'd both become different people to who we first fell in love with.

Tell me, do you still look forward to seeing each time you catch up? If not, I think it's a clue that it's time to move on.

[michelle23]

Lol to answer your qs back up-have a wank.