Very good relationship, girlfriend has sex issues though.

[michelle23]

I agree with that. Sometimes just touching for awhile is a great way to relax and get comfortable with each other as well as a good opportunity to make sure she enjoys it before moving onto oral and then sex.. i wouldnt give it anymore than 6months though. If shes still the same by then, its time to move on IMO

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[4 ratties]

You've only been together for 2 months. I'm sure you'll find something about her you don't like or will get sick of never getting sex pretty soon.
OR maybe she may get more comfortable with you and give u more sex.
Just have to see what happens.

Ps I love how after knowing someone for 2 months you hope your together forever. Goodluck with that.

[Boisdevie]

At 2 months in you should be shagging like rabbits. It aint gonna work so dump her.

[Kilocake]

To elaborate, the assault was as serious as you can imagine. Anyway, thanks except for all the derailing. I think I'm going to stick it out and hope she gets more comfortable over time. I feel like she has already as last week was better but not ideal still. I'm going to be understanding as she is really good...I'll keep i mind that things may not change though.

[michelle23]

Best of luck OP. Make sure you ask her to see a counsellor now if your committing. Things wont get better otherwise and if things are still the same in 3-6months, it may be time to give up.

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[Divine]

This is a very difficult decision for you. I know myself, I have been assaulted and it is very difficult not to be triggered by anything sexual. It probably causes her a great amount of emotional distress to even be naked in front of you. If she hasn't discussed it openly with you, then perhaps you should see if you can have a discussion about her and how she's dealing with it and be as understanding as you possibly can. Try not to focus as much on your side of it and a little more on what she thinks might help her to overcome this fear or what she thinks is truly causing it. No one wants to be abandoned because they are 'broken'. That would have a very significant effect on her, so you must consider that. If you are very good to her, chances are she will heal eventually and you can have a fairly normal relationship. You just have to show her why she can trust you which means patience and understanding and not pushing her too much to do things she doesn't want to do at first. It will likely pay off, but you have to be patient. She needs new memories that are much better and can eclipse the bad memories. The fact that she can have sex with you at all without bursting into tears tells me that she is an extremely strong individual. I would say don't give up on her just yet. If you love her as much as you say you do, then she will be worth the wait. I'd also be asking if she is still getting therapy, because if she is not, she may need to do some more. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could possibly be helpful as it teaches a person to think differently about things.

Wikipedia described the use of CBT for treatment of anxiety disorders this way:
"A basic concept in some CBT treatments used in anxiety disorders is in vivo exposure, a term describing a technique where the patient is gradually exposed to the actual, feared stimulus. The treatment is based on the theory that the fear response has been classically conditioned, and that avoidance of it negatively reinforces and maintains the fear. This "two-factor" model is often credited to O. Hobart Mowrer.[47] Through exposure to the stimulus, this harmful conditioning can be "unlearned" (referred to as extinction and habituation)."

Considering that she probably has a lot of anxiety and fear associated with sex, it could be helpful to try. That of course completely depends on whether she is willing to help herself or even sees it as a problem to begin with. If you are a very brave soul (and if she will let you), you could even participate in therapy with her. It might be good for the trust part of your relationship. People often go to relationship counselors and such after there is already a breakdown in their relationship. If you nip it in the bud now, it might not become a huge problem further on down the road.

[troyhoughton]

find things she would be comfortable doing sexually, maybe she can handjob you till you cum, or you just finger her her oral on her, not always just sex until she gets more comfortable being naked and sexual with you. if you don't have the patience now, you never will. so now is the time to decide stay or tell her you cant be in a relationship with her.

That is an excellent idea to find anything that she may be interested in doing to try and build her comfort level up slowly on the sexual scale.

Warning if it does not improve soon and you are unsatisfied now it will not get better as time goes on. Your resentment will just grow and grow, that is not beneficial for either one of you.