Originally Posted by
RobertWQ
I actually think both of these posts and perspectives are right.
I think she IS into me. And I think she probably makes fun of me behind my back in part because she doesn't want to fully let on to her boyfriend that she is ... and in part because it's kind of this antagonism from a relatively poor, immigrant towards the white, affluent person. Feeling a sense of power from thinking you're getting something over on them. Like graffiti or something.
And I also think the other point of view (Michelle's, etc.) is also correct. She IS using me as an emotional shoulder to lean on. The character of her emails indicate this. She often asks me for help on something, although I think at times at least she is just making an excuse to write to me (she'll sometimes ask for things she really doesn't need). But she also does talk about how she can be unmotivated at times because of how busy her schedule is, and then I encourage her, etc. So kind of a classic nice-guy situation too.
I'm going to stick it out until it's time to go, I guess. I DO like her and I like her company. I also think that there isn't anything wrong with helping someone when you can and it doesn't cost you very much. I mean after all, I am going into medicine, that is the entire purpose of people in this field, is to help vulnerable people or people in need of what you can do.
I guess once she starts talking to me about her and her boyfriend's problems will be when I decide it's gone too far towards the nice-guy scenario.
And I don't expect her to leave her boyfriend of 2.5 years for me. I'm guessing it will be pretty hard to compete with his in-person presence and the length of time they've been together over email. And besides, I wouldn't want her to leave him unless she's really unhappy or she really likes me that much more and is ready for something new. And I don't think it's at that point between them.
Skeptical hit on the most important point though about this whole thing that makes it different, and it's this: "You obviously like her and like to be around her. You don't find this in many people."