Quick Q. Need advice ASAP plz: Who Should Come First?

[surfhb2]

Doesn't matter who contacted who. His age is a huge red flag

[searock]

Yep, age difference is too big. Don't go.

[basilandthyme]

Well.. I can't cancel, I hate when people cancel and I myself don't want to disappoint others He is an educated person with phD as well.. so he is must not be retarded.. I only hope he is not married.. what do you think?

I said EMOTIONALLY retarded. There are some people who have it going on intellectually but who have the emotional intelligence of a teenager. Intellect and common sense don't go hand in hand. That's assuming he's telling the truth about his qualifications.

You asked the question about age, and I can only respond with "WTF is an emotionally intelligent 35yo guy doing hanging out with a 21yo?" Most likely answer is that nobody his own age will touch him.

[Wakeup]

Thanks everyone for the responses so far, but how do I tell him to come to my city without sounding like I'm afraid of him or something?

You tell him that you'd feel more comfortable meeting him on your turf in a public place until you get to know him better and that comeing to his city to stay in a hotel is not something you are willing to do.

If he doesn't call you again, then count yourself as just having dodged a bullet.

You really do need to stop being so naive and ridiculous and just use your god given common sense.

[Wakeup]

Although he should respect your wishes, there's a reason he wants you to come to him.....there's an event going on in his city. He wants you to go and is paying for your stay. I mean you're not meeting him in a seedy, empty hotel room, you've already talked several times.

I don't understand why you're apprehensive or think he's not being a gentleman? Let's get out of the Victorian age a little girls....Jeesh . Are you not comfy with the idea or does it come down to the fact that you a woman?

Anyway.....with you being 21 with no car this won't last anyway.

I'm surprised, surf. Would you really want your 21 year old daughter meeting a man she's never laid eyes on before and him being the one that is paying for the hotel room (thereby giving him acces to one of the keys to that room?) Surely you are'nt suggesting that she meet a virtual stranger under those circumstances? You and I usually agree but not on this one.

Serial killers, rapists, scam artists and those involved in sex trade don't care if she's of age or not. Like I said, she doesn't even know him.

I do agree that: Being a "gentlman" or not is neither here nor there at this point. Safety is the reason why she should meet him at a public place close to where she lives and gets to know him ..

If you know his last name, maybe you should google him. Apparently in the states you can find out a lot about a dick-weed just from google.

[Wakeup]

Oh ok he texted me actually..
After the thread that another girl posted of what happened to her though... I hope he is not married at least.. It came to mind and I actually mentioned that to my mom even before the thread, but my mom said for now there is no reason to think that.

Your mother has no problem with you going to a different city to go out with a man you've never met before?

lmao.. carry on.

[AnErin]

If he has an apartment in his city, then why can't he just invite you to stay with him? Not much point in putting you in a hotel. That is, unless he is hiding something (wife?) or if he is one of those traveling daters (I will be in your city on business this weekend only). NOPE.

He is probably harmless as far as sanity goes. If he were some murderer or rapist, he would probably have landed in prison by the time he is 35. No guarantee though.
Plus, what if you traveled two hours just to have him flake out? THAT would be my biggest concern. And just to be safe, if he offers to pick you up and drive you, don't do it. If things DO go badly, you need an escape plan.

Also try not to forget that when we are first getting to know someone who seems exciting, we tend to overestimate how great they are. We get some indescribable image in our heads about how great they are. The guy you are imagining to be Prince Charming might live in GOVT sponsored squalor with some psycho wife and kids.

For the age difference - It is a bit of one but not unreasonable. I would not see it as a problem in itself.

[Fjortis]

So I went to Montreal and met this doctor. I ended up staying in his apartment, not in a hotel, but that just happened that way (and we didn't have sex or anything), we had a fun time, went to a few clubs/bars, but I don't think he liked me. He liked how I look but not my personality, maybe it is the age difference (as I said he is 37 and I'm 22) but he probably found me too much lol and I guess too immature haha. For instance at night I still wanted to go somewhere else, to at least check out that hotel room for instance and he was just tired and wanted to go to bed. But he was always polite and nice. He never made me feel like he didn't like me, the only way that I know is because though he said to text him and let him know that I made it home safe, after I did, he just responded okay, that's good, and that's it. (If he wanted to talk to me again he would have messaged me again). So yea, but overall it was a fun experience, nothing negative!

[HDBadger]

...This post is a perfect example of how older men who want to date younger, attractive women are all screwed up...

[Starnique]

BTW he is 35 and I'm 21. Do you think it's a very big difference?

So did u just have a birthday? Happy belated birthday. Did he skip a couple of ages or did he lie or did you lie???

[Starnique]

So I went to Montreal and met this doctor. I ended up staying in his apartment, not in a hotel, but that just happened that way (and we didn't have sex or anything), we had a fun time, went to a few clubs/bars, but I don't think he liked me. He liked how I look but not my personality, maybe it is the age difference (as I said he is 37 and I'm 22)!

This isn't what you initially said.

[Fjortis]

Thanks, no I'm really 22 now, and he is 37..