I need to look less menacing?

[H2024you]

Unfortunately yes, I've tried, but dating female sailors, marines, Oceanside tramps, and other prison guards....doesn't really make for a long healthy relationship lol. I'm hoping I can make this work in college and turn things around.

[H2024you]

I agree that you shouldn't be giving the time of day to someone who uses you as a turn key. But, maybe for future relationships you could try being a little more sensitive to the girl you're dating? It's not an attack- just a possible suggestion on how to improve your relationships in the future, as I remember you writing somewhere that they've never been longer than a month?
Nice to meet you, regardless, and good luck.

I dunno if she's the type to use me, but I really like her and I sit beside her tomorrow and I doubt I'll be able to stay mad at her. When it's just us she's really nice and fun to be around, but it's whenever her friends are around or I try to text her that she acts all weird and stuff? I really want to get lunch with her again tomorrow, but I think I should tell her no just to put emphases on the point that I don't like being ignored and having games being played on me? I just hope she doesn't get mad and completely drop me.

[Rowen]

I'm really amazed by how many ppl are uncomfortable about a guy experimenting. How many women do the same thing and brag about it like an achievement? I know of at least a few. I'm not saying it's something everyone should try, but it seems men are more comfortable with there GF trying out same sex than vise versa. That seems...odd?

You're exactly right. It's a double standard in society.
We were just discussing this the other week in my one Literature course at college. Typically, society instills, subconsciously, the idea that males are typically supposed to be in-penetrable and basically the epitome of the classic alpha. This basically includes making it socially acceptable for a man to sleep around with as many females as he likes but never a male. Why? Because in doing so, society thinks they're less masculine because it makes them penetrable. In reality, however, it doesn't make them anything less. It just means they tried something new- maybe even something they liked. But then again, I find the whole gender roles thing bullshit anymore.
It's really ****ing ridiculous, in my opinion- just like the double standard of women not being able to sleep around, as well. But it seems society has no desire to alter their perspective any time soon.

Unfortunately yes, I've tried, but dating female sailors, marines, Oceanside tramps, and other prison guards....doesn't really make for a long healthy relationship lol. I'm hoping I can make this work in college and turn things around.

This makes sense then.. lol I might suggest in this case, then, possibly trying to date different kinds of women- not just the typical you go for? Sometimes, having opposites in a relationship can make it interesting a little more stable.
My ex-boyfriend Dave and I had a few differences in our personalities and the way we handle/look at things. Where I was more intuitive and insecure, he was more analytical and rational. It used to work for us for a while until we ripped ourselves apart (So, maybe it's not the best example).
I think that you can definitely make the turn-around if you try. A writing friend of mine was able to. He used to be like what you seem to be; now, he's a little softer and in a relationship. lol

[Starnique]

Your sexual past is no one's business. If it's gonna cause shit like that just clam up about it.

Be that as it may. I personally don't care to know the specifics of how a girl sucked or ****ed a guy I'm dating. However, it is my belief and probably along with 99% of women that feel like they have a right to know if he's been with the same sex. That kind of shit I personally do care about it. If you don't feel like it would be your business to know, then that's on you but don't butter him up to think that its nothing because IMO, that is something important to disclose.

OP I am not attacking you btw.

[Rowen]

I dunno if she's the type to use me, but I really like her and I sit beside her tomorrow and I doubt I'll be able to stay mad at her. When it's just us she's really nice and fun to be around, but it's whenever her friends are around or I try to text her that she acts all weird and stuff? I really want to get lunch with her again tomorrow, but I think I should tell her no just to put emphases on the point that I don't like being ignored and having games being played on me? I just hope she doesn't get mad and completely drop me.

But, to me, that sounds like either games or that she's feeling others will think differently of her with being around you. I'm not really sure, though, so these are mere possibilities.

[H2024you]

But, to me, that sounds like either games or that she's feeling others will think differently of her with being around you. I'm not really sure, though, so these are mere possibilities.

That's what Im worried about. I don't want ppl shunning her because she spends time with me, but I don't want her to ignore me just because I'm a little different than everyone else. These ppl are so weird, they preach about supporting the troops and being "Godly" and how criminals are so bad, but they do some horrible things and seem to act different around me. I guess they support the troops as long as they stay AWAY from them and like having people work in prisons to keep the "bad guys" away, but once again...Out of sight out of mind.

I wish they'd stop calling me a "Cop" too, they dont get it that Correctional Officers in prison and cops for the streets. They all think I'm gonna arrest them for smoking pot or some dumb shit....*sigh*

[H2024you]

Should I just tell her the truth? "I really like you and don't want to pretend to be mad, but I don't want you ignoring me anymore or acting weird when your friends are around." I want to be mad and think I should, but she's really sweet when it's just us and we get coffee or lunch or talk in my car for a few hours btwn classes.

[H2024you]

The fact that I'm still thinking about this is bothering me....I should not be this caught up over this girl....this is not going to end well. I should have got some coffee with her after class earlier today....damn.

[Rowen]

Should I just tell her the truth? "I really like you and don't want to pretend to be mad, but I don't want you ignoring me anymore or acting weird when your friends are around." I want to be mad and think I should, but she's really sweet when it's just us and we get coffee or lunch or talk in my car for a few hours btwn classes.

Okay, first of all- I completely agree with you that AR is backward in its thinking that way. But that's really any state anymore; they all hold that same "out of sight, out of mind" policy like you were talking about. I think, however, that's another thing to look for in a woman- her seeing you for you and not some label.

Second, I agree that direct communication would work for you here, even if it's negative. But instead of focusing on what you want, focus more on how you FEEL because no one can really fault you for that. For example, though this is commonly used in therapy, you can use what's called an I Statement. This is basically where you directly acknowledge certain actions and express how it makes you feel.
So, for example: "When you ignore me for a long period of time and then flirt with me when you need something, I feel unimportant to you. I'd like you to acknowledge me more if you're interested in me."

Of course, you don't want to make it sound too emotional because you're not dating her. This is just an example you can alter how you like.

As for thinking about her, don't beat yourself up. You were upset and felt the best way to handle yourself was to get away from the situation because you didn't want to be around her if you felt like she was using you. It's a natural human response, and no one can really fault you for it.
Hope you're okay, though. :S

[searock]

Personally I wouldn't care if a guy slept with another guy in the past. I mean, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. But if a guy refers to other girls as "sluts", that would be a deal breaker.

[MrKnobby]

I realise this is ask a female but let me tell you my friend, any female who calls a marine vet a creep is not worth your time. At 21, I'm afraid that many women have high expectations and some do not even know their own minds yet. You should not take what they say to heart.

I would of replied to those comments in an arrogant manner; "you must only be interested in boys then". Any of those women with a brain would probably think that what they have done is wrong and then respect you.

When I was at College there was a club of sorts for older students. A guy on our course found a girlfriend there. How about joining one of the sports teams? With your marine background you should do well and attract the eye of some of those females.

[H2024you]

Class was cancelled due to ice on roads, long day of nothing...again.

[H2024you]

Personally I wouldn't care if a guy slept with another guy in the past. I mean, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. But if a guy refers to other girls as "sluts", that would be a deal breaker.

I'm referring to the girls who slept with every CO at the prisons facility or the girls that slept with every 03 in the barracks...THOSE are sluts and they generally do tell the truth because they really have no reason to lie to you. They have no emotional connection to you so usually they give the most honest answers about personal stuff.

The one at the school I was talking about was a prior sailor and while she's a cool chick...she's a slut...hell, she'll admit it. Nothing wrong with it, Slut=stud same thing just different gender. She likes to sleep around and stay away from relationships and emotional connections. I can think of a lot of guys who do that and its "normal".

[Starnique]

Personally I wouldn't care if a guy slept with another guy in the past. I mean, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. But if a guy refers to other girls as "sluts", that would be a deal breaker.

Searock, I don't see what the big deal is about calling a chic a slut. You call a spade a spade right? You go around humping everybody shamelessly, getting passed back and forth and possibly sending people to the clinic because you're a walking infection, then you're a slut. That goes for guys to. I don't discriminate. Slut is a word for a reason.

[smackie9]

I'm really amazed by how many ppl are uncomfortable about a guy experimenting. How many women do the same thing and brag about it like an achievement? I know of at least a few. I'm not saying it's something everyone should try, but it seems men are more comfortable with there GF trying out same sex than vise versa. That seems...odd?

Girl on girl by society standards is considered as hot by a male's perspective. But guy on guy is not considered as hot by male or female perspective. And I have to tend to agree. It woud be a deal breaker for me.

I guess it's because women are regaured as submissive and nurtures, and to see men is that state sexually is a turn off because it is not we as a society expect from men.

There is nothing to really change that....it is just the way it is.