Beside myself, angry, confused etc.

[Freddy]

In advance, thank you for your time and advice .

I have recently encountered a terrible situation with a girl at university, about a month ago. Last term I met a girl in a nightclub and I invited her back to my house, where we had sex. We talked for ages and it wasn't like a normal one night stand. Anyway I walked her back to campus because she wasn't too sure where she was. I text her that day, and after we were texting everyday over the whole summer. At the start of this term, we met up, fooled around a bit, but didn't have sex and I was fine with that.

Anyway, a few days later she text me at 1 in the morning asking to come round, promising it "would be fun". I said sure. She came round, I was sitting on the bed and she came onto me, I started kissing her neck, but she said I was "scaring her". Needless to say, I said that we probably shouldn't have sex because she didn't seem that into it. Anyway, in the morning she goes to the bathroom to freshen up, jumps on top of me, wanting to have sex, but I was having 'wood' problems, because to be honest the whole thing had got a bit weird. She started talking to me like I was an *******, saying that "this was my only chance" etc etc.

Anyway, we did oral, to be honest because she made me feel guilty about the whole erection thing. The next day I went to hers to watch a film, she told me she just "wanted to be friends". I said fine but the next day when she text me I just ignored it because to be fair I thought that she was taking me for a bit of a fool. Within a couple of hours of me not replying she starts to freak out, saying I can't cut her out of her life and it really hurts etc. So I replied saying that I didn't want to be just friends and after all the stuff we did it would just be weird. She kept going on about not cutting her out so I said "ok give me a couple of days to think things through". She said "ok but you can't just cut me out". I went to a nightclub that night, she started texting me, asking me to "Come round... we can ****". Lo and behold, I see her basically sitting a few yards away from me. I went over to say hi but she just blew me off and started dancing with some guy right in front of me, continuously looking at me and grinning. I felt jealous, but didn't show it and left the club.

Anyway about 30 mins after I left she called me, I ignored it, and then she called again, so I answered. She was asking me to come back into town to see her, like an idiot I said ok. I ordered a cab and whilst waiting she told me that she loved me, which was weird and I ignored it. We get a cab back to hers, talk to her friend in the living room for about an hour, then we go upstairs. I said to her "do you have condoms", she went downstairs to get them, then she put music on and we had sex. We then had sex again in the morning. About an hour after I said that I should go home, I didn't want to outstay my welcome. Se said "no stay", so I stayed until 1, we were cuddling on the sofa and even then when I said I wanted to go she asked me to stay, I said thanks but I need to have a shower etc.

Anyway, after I leave she started saying that "it was really bad you had sex with me when I was that drunk"?!?! But she said she "Didn't mind" I mean wtf?!?! The next day she started saying she wasn't happy about it and that I abused her drunken state?! I said you were drunk but not that drunk and we had sex in the morning! She said she was still wasted in the morning, I just told her that she was lying. Anyway we didn't talk for a while but I couldn't let it lie I felt terrible, like some kind of sexual predator.

Anyway I eventually had her round at my place to talk this out, she tried to pressure me into saying that what I did was wrong. When I stood my ground, she started crying, saying that she didn't take my feelings into consideration, that there were no boundaries, that she knew she had me as a friend (and thought she could just keep me hanging around), and that she would never hurt me again. Anyway I said, fine let's be friends. But to be honest the next day I told her that I couldn't forgive her after what she had done to me, anyway we argued for a while, and eventually she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I was angry with her and sent some snotty texts, but two days later I send her a message saying that I wanted NC, but that she was a nice girl and that I hoped she would be happy. The next day she reported me to the university, one of the staff said that she wanted "no contact with me". To be honest this is what has really cheesed me off. I mean, I was reported to the uni for no reason, like I'm some kind of creepy stalker and she gets off scott-free! It really hurts and it's made me very angry. Why did she do that?!

Anyway I just said fine I didn't want to cause a scene, I wanted it to all go away. But it hasn't, whenever I go out she keeps staring at me, I mean really staring at me, with a weird, sad face. sometimes she'll hug guys and look over at me to see if I'm looking. Once I saw her out and she looked me straight in the eye and started doing this weird, seductive dance in front of me. I've ignored her since she reported me to the uni. Have I done anything wrong? When I had sex with her that night she was all like "oh let's do doggy" and stuff like that?! I mean the way she makes it out you'd think she was passed out or something?! Oh she has slandered me to her friends as well. To be honest I dread to think what she has told them. This whole situation is a nightmare and I haven't spoke to her for 6 weeks but she won't stop staring and being weird when she sees me and it's worrying me because I think that if she hasn't let it go by now she never will, and to be honest I'm living in fear of what she'll do next.

Also, she said some weird stuff to me about having an mmf, waking up with a guy she doesn't know and not knowing where she is THREE TIMES!! And not liking it when guys ejaculate on her because it's degrading. I don't know that just sounded really weird to me.

Why is she doing this? Am I insane? Have I done anything wrong? I was always nice and patient with her and it feels like she has completely screwed me over for no reason! Sorry some of this is a bit graphic but it's essential context. And it is very long, apologies.

[michelle23]

She sounds unstable (and that is putting it nicely). Its better to get to know people before sleeping with them. I would say learn a lesson from this and move on. Ignore her when you see her. She sounds like a freak

[Wakeup]

Is it spring break or something?

[Freddy]

Obviously I know she's crazy. The problem I am having is, I'm just so angry at the injustice of what has happened. I have been falsely accused of something terrible and what's worse is it's just a game to her. I have to walk around on campus enduring the stares of people who think I'm some kind of monster. It's really upset me...

[Valixy]

Just stay away from her, OP. She has some serious mental problems, but keep this for yourself and don't speak to others or it could turn against you. There is nothing she can do if you just don't give her any attention and don't exchange any words with her, but keep all the texts/messages you've exchanged as proof in case she starts mixing up again reality with fantasy. She will give up on making your life difficult or she'll find another victim unless she starts taking care of her issues.

[Valixy]

Obviously I know she's crazy. The problem I am having is, I'm just so angry at the injustice of what has happened. I have been falsely accused of something terrible and what's worse is it's just a game to her. I have to walk around on campus enduring the stares of people who think I'm some kind of monster. It's really upset me...

Be strong. Time will put her in her place. She really has problems and others will be able to see that too. She can't hide something like this for too long. Be glad it wasn't as bad as it could have been and just keep staying away from her. Concentrate on your studies, find yourself a nice girlfriend at the right time and be happy.

[Freddy]

Thanks so much. You're right. I've started seeing a very beautiful girl recently. She seems very nice. It sounds bad, but the girl in question saw us out and her face dropped. That night my date said the weird girl's friends were being very nice to her in the girls' toilet. Maybe it's just a coincidence but it gave me some satisfaction. Onwards and upwards.

[Valixy]

That's great news, Freddy. You've already started to feel better and your life is changing. You'll soon be completely over this bad experience, you'll see.

Don't give the weird girl another chance to speak with you, try to never be around her without other people or a witness, do not respond to any of her provocations, and don't worry, the others aren't stupid and can also see through her lies and problematic behaviour. She has a long hard way in front of her.

And for the future, remember, there is a limit in being tolerant with girls and ignoring red flags, like her unstable behaviour before you spent the second night together. No night of sex is worth the possible complications.

[michelle23]

Don't let it get to you. Plenty people already know how unstable she is-that will be mentioned too in conversations if anyone is talking about you. There will always be 1 or 2 in a group who will say "that girl is bat shit crazy, I wouldn't believe what she says".

I remember a local guy was accused of rape a few years back and any time I heard people talking about it-there was always someone who stood up for him. In the end his name was cleared and now people only talk about how messed up SHE is. I don't even know these people-just heard all the rumours/gossip but I know he always had people standing up for him.

Dont worry about it. Enjoy your new relationship. Those who know you will be on your side

[4 ratties]

im glad to hear youve now met a classy chick to occupy your time. avoid those nasty sluts again. nothing but trouble and herpes.

[skeeziix]

Yeah, the best thing you can do is stay away from this person she sounds like she is confused and probably has actual mental issues. I would suggest staying out of the bars and clubs, if you want a healthy relationship binge drinking is only going to cause drama