i'm starting to get scared of the guy i used to date?

[xowinterbabyxo]

This guy I used to date told me that I lost my chance with him because I didn't go in for the "kill", and he tells me to start anew and don't talk about the times with him. Yet, he still calls me. Today he called me and everything was fine until the point where he asked me to ask him a question. I didn't know what to ask, and then he gets mad because I'm not asking him. He kept going "i'm waiting". I told him I wanted to get off the phone and go to bed. Mainly I was tired but I'm also mad at him. He told me to call him tomorrow, but I can't because it is my sisters birthday and he told me "call me when you are done celebrating with her birthday." I can't call him because Monday I am going on an overnight trip and I need to get some sleep, but he told me "you better call me or bad things are going to happen". I don't even get it because we are not in a relationship.

It got to the point where I said "you can't force me to do anything". He actually agreed to that and said " you know, your right, but I expect you to do the right thing and call me." Eventually I told him " we aren't even together, so why are you doing this?" and he goes " we aren't together, but we are friends, right? friends call each other, right?" and he was laughing the whole time, then told me I better not go to bed mad and call him and think of a question to ask him.

He is starting to scare me and creep me out. This is the same guy who forced me to go on a date with his friend and then told me his friend said I was being shy when it was his friend who was shy and that next time I better not be shy or that bad things will happen to me and he will delete my number and never talk to me again. I do not even want to go out with his friend, it was too awkward. Also, he is making me set up a date where he can meet my friends because according to him "we can ALL be friends and ALL hangout." He even made fun at me when I told him I didn't have a date for prom in high school and that I went with a group of friends. He told me that I should of stayed home and laughs everything when he brings it up, just because I went with friends. No matter what I do or say, it always is "my fault" and i'm sick and tired of talking to him. plus he only calls me in the middle of the night, and its not right.. my family sleeps and I can't wake them up. What should I do?

Oh, he also gets mad when I don't answer his questions correctly, and tells me I am not allowed to say "sorry" or "thank you" because he doesn't accept them. Plus he tells me I never said thank you to the dates he took me on, when I clearly remember I did and he kissed me on the cheek after. I don't get what I did that was so wrong.

[basilandthyme]

Winterbaby, have you ever told him to go F*ck himself when he says he expects things of you? I suspect you've been civil to him...but civil doesn't work with this type of guy.

You need to tell him to stop calling and contacting you. Then block his calls (if your phone can't do it, then find an app which can). Or at the very least, start turning your phone off at night. Block him on your email and social media. You cannot be his friend.

If he continues to contact you, write down every time he contacts you and what he says....then report him to police.

Edited to add: is this the ex you spoke about in your last post? If so, your family has good reason to dislike him. He's a right dickhead.

[Mattiemae]

Basil: is right in her suggestions. Don't even have any further contact with the guy. He is being controlling and manipulating. Playing with your mind, and it's not healthy for you. There is not reason for you be harassed like that or threatened. If you feel to scared than alert your family he is bothering you and don't have any contact!

[Valixy]

Learn to tell him NO and stand up for yourself. You do not need a ''friend'' like this in your life. If he doesn't respect your decision to not contact you anymore, speak with your family and accept their support. If he continues, report him to the police. Manipulating you, forcing you to do things and threatening you is not a light matter anymore.

[mollymari]

drop the control freak

[smackie9]

It's no wonder your parents hate this guy...because he is an abusive douche. Have some self worth and delete this guy from your life. And stop taking phone calls from him. If there is to be any communication from him let it be by text so you will have evidence for the police of his harassment. This guy just threatened you, and that is a criminal offense.

[xowinterbabyxo]

thanks everyone! I decided I'm not going to contact him anymore and block his number. I don't need to be told what to do by some guy who I've only known since Oct 26th, not even 4 months yet. His loss, I do not need to be dealing with him... found out he texted me after I hung up wishing me "sweet dreams" when he knew I was mad at him

Edited to add: is this the ex you spoke about in your last post? If so, your family has good reason to dislike him. He's a right dickhead.

No this isn't the ex I spoke about in my last post, this is the guy I met through a friend at school. My ex wouldn't even do stuff like this :/

[smackie9]

No this isn't the ex I spoke about in my last post, this is the guy I met through a friend at school. My ex wouldn't even do stuff like this :/

Man you sure know how to pick'em. Better work on that.

[rest77]

Man you sure know how to pick'em. Better work on that.

Tell it like it is!

- - - Updated - - -

This guy I used to date told me that I lost my chance with him because I didn't go in for the "kill", and he tells me to start anew and don't talk about the times with him. Yet, he still calls me.


This is the same guy who forced me to go on a date with his friend and then told me his friend said I was being shy when it was his friend who was shy and that next time I better not be shy or that bad things will happen to me and he will delete my number.....

I don't get the picture here. Somehow this same guy, that you are scared of and used to date, also forced you to go out on a date with his own friend?

- - - Updated - - -

Learn to tell him NO and stand up for yourself. You do not need a ''friend'' like this in your life. If he doesn't respect your decision to not contact you anymore, speak with your family and accept their support. If he continues, report him to the police. Manipulating you, forcing you to do things and threatening you is not a light matter anymore.

This is a good advice. You better do something like this and stop being his scapegoat!

[xowinterbabyxo]

Yeah, basically in December he told me in a text message (because he was at work and couldn't call me...) that we were just friends and nothing more. He also told me not to take him and I serious. Two weeks later he gave my phone number to his friend, and I really didn't want to go out with someone I didn't know but my mom told me to because he could of been a nice guy that I can get to know better, but it was just awkward and I didn't want to go out again with him, yet I got told that I better go out with him a second time and not be "shy" when I wasn't the one who was shy, and now he tells me I have to go out a third time, and I better text this guy first ad that I better tell him when I am going out with his friend for the third time. But there will be no third time :/

I never really knew this guy before I was introduced to him by our mutual friend, and that's how I met him. I didn't find him on my own, and now I'm trying to not have contact with him on my own :/ I told myself this morning I am not going to return his calls and shutting my phone off during the night, getting an alarm clock instead. You all gave great advice, thank you.

[smackie9]

You could leave a nice sarcastic thank you not for that guy that handed over your phone number to this jerk. It goes to show you how much of a douche that guy truly was, and you should be thankful he wasn't interested in you after all.

[xowinterbabyxo]

He called again last night (I thought I blocked his number but idk what went wrong :/)

Anyways I didn't answer because i don't want to talk to him and this morning I realized I got a text message, it's from him and it said this
"Hey, I wanted to apologize for yesterday..... I didnt mean to go over da line.... if u dont want to talk anymore I completely understand......"


Now what should I do? I didn't reply because I got it around 12:30am and I was asleep, I just noticed the text now

[searock]

Obviously, you shouldn't reply. He is manipulating you by making you feel guilty. You need to work on your lack of awareness in these situations, or you'll end up getting hurt over and over again. Stay away from this guy and if he keeps calling and pestering you, report him to the police.

[Wakeup]

Go with this:

if u dont want to talk anymore I completely understand......"

Just don't respond. He said he'd understand if you didn't.

This is the same guy who forced me to go on a date with his friend

Really? You couldn't just say "no?" Did he put a hood over your head, throw you in a car, tie you up to a chair in a Restaurant?

Stop being bossed around. Stop allowing yourself to be manipulated. Learn to stop responding to this guy and get yourself some councelling so that you don't allow yourself to be abused by the next douche that comes into your life. Work on YOU and forget about him.

[smackie9]

He called again last night (I thought I blocked his number but idk what went wrong :/)

Anyways I didn't answer because i don't want to talk to him and this morning I realized I got a text message, it's from him and it said this
"Hey, I wanted to apologize for yesterday..... I didnt mean to go over da line.... if u dont want to talk anymore I completely understand......"


Now what should I do? I didn't reply because I got it around 12:30am and I was asleep, I just noticed the text now

You do NOTHING. He is being passive/agressive which is what abusive poeple do to manipulate others....he isn't being nice, he's being a shit. You owe him nothing so don't respond to him.