I feel like I let my girlfriend down

[marklioppe]

we were suppose to go out for dinner last night for valentines day. we had a bad snowstorm so we postponed it.

this morning she asked i i worked tonight and i said no. well then my manager texted me saying she had no help tonight and asked if i woud work and i said yes.

i told my girlfrend i was going to work tonight and she said "ohhh"

i said "did you have something planned?" and she said "yes going to dinner" i said "oh i am so sorry, i feel so horrible now" she said " don't worry about it babe, you need the hours" i said "i feel bad im sorry" she said "its ok dont worry about it"

i figured since she worked at 8 we wouldnt be doing anything. i feel horrible though. should i feel like i let her down? how should i make up for it

[ieatyous]

You should because she was really looking forward to it, i know the exact feeling. You should definitely bring her to dinner ASAP.

[marklioppe]

You should because she was really looking forward to it, i know the exact feeling. You should definitely bring her to dinner ASAP.

we hadn't planned on tonight which is why i said i would go to work. if i had known she wanted to go tonight i would have said no to work

[searock]

Hey it's not a huge problem, just go out to dinner when you both can and buy her a nice thoughtful gift as a surprise (doesn't have to be expensive, it can be just chocolates or a book by her favorite author, something like that) .

[marklioppe]

Hey it's not a huge problem, just go out to dinner when you both can and buy her a nice thoughtful gift as a surprise (doesn't have to be expensive, it can be just chocolates or a book by her favorite author, something like that) .

i got her flowers and chocolate last night, we just didnt do dinner

[Mattiemae]

Just take her out to dinner the next chance that you have!

[ingalls]

dont worry about it

[marklioppe]

Just frustrating. We have texted a bit when I said something about Monday dinner she didn't reply. Sigh

[TheEvilJester]

Well, not sure if you are anything like me, but my advice will still be valid either way....

Don't overthink it, and don't over-apologize. Personally, I have a low self-esteem, and have not had a lot of good experiences with people in my life, so whenever I have a good friend, a relationship, or whatever, in the back of my head I half expect that there is no way I could ever deserve it, and it is just going to end like everything good seems to for me.

It is hard for me not to beat myself up over stupid things. I have had to learn to tell myself it is okay sometimes to mess up.

In this case, you really didn't mess up. It was an honest mistake. You weren't aware that she was planning to make up for the dinner that very night, so you agreed to work when you were needed. Having a good work ethic is definitely not a bad thing.

I am sure she was disappointed, but probably more so in the situation. It isn't like you and her had already made definitive plans and then you agreed to work without talking to her first. So, she was probably disappointed, but not necessarily actually mad at you.

As others have said, just have that dinner as soon as possible. Give her another polite, and sincere, but half in passing apology. Just like a simple "Hey, sorry we didn't get a chance to do this the other day. If I knew you were planning that, I definitely would have said no to work." Then, leave it at that. I am sure it will all be no big deal. Good luck.

[AnErin]

It might mean she does not really care either way.
Not sure if it's a new epidemic or just my own bad luck but it seems people flake out all the time.

If this is the first time, she probably forgave. Since she worked at 8, maybe she didn't feel like doing anything and was relieved.

If you flake out often like many of the people I have "dated" have, she might be used to it.

[sophiaadam]

i think you should say sorry and try to make her forget this problem

[surfhb2]

omg! Stop making a big deal of it. You had to work and she told you she understood Jeesh!!