Hi everyone,
I'm new to this place, I don't usually sign up for forums but I thought I'd give it a go. I'm not sure where I wanted to post this but I guess I want a female perspective. I also really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this as it would help me a lot. I'll try to be as honest as possible.
First, a bit of background.. I'm a relatively fresh faced 22 year old, nearly 23 from England. For those from the UK, I'm your standard normal guy from university. I, personally, would consider myself a reasonably good looking guy, about 5,9, slim build. A couple of years ago my first and only relationship ended. I encountered severe anxiety during random periods of the relationship and felt I had to escape. Maybe it was the anxiety's way of telling me that she wasn't entirely right for me - and deep down I think I realise that. In hindsight, for a good year I was used to having the attentions of a good looking girly. It sounds so selfish I know. Since then, I think I've missed the attention but I'm determined to find a girl whose right for me and someone who I'll love for being her vice versa eventually. Don't get me wrong, we loved each other for all the right reasons - but she has been my only love so far, thus its an important one for me. It is however in the past now.
I am quite a shy guy normally. Around girls, especially girls who I don't know, I can be like a statue and I just freeze. I wish I could go up to any girl (within my age range I guess) and be confident enough to talk properly without over thinking everything. But since my relationship ended, I've suffered from a slight lack of confidence/get up and go mentality. Because Im shy in nature I'm sort of sensitive in this way and don't want to be embarrassed if a girl turns her back on me or something or I run out of things to say or she generally thinks 'whats this guy doing..'. Haha. It's not a good mentality to have and I know it needs to be changed but its almost like a need proof or 1 good experience for me to think its not as bad as I think.
I'm going to a bar/pub in London tomorrow to see work friends and I'm trying to set myself to talk to at least 2/3 different girls or at least one. Even if it's just small talk for like 10 seconds. But I know I will just struggle to gather the confidence and will most likely go home disappointed knowing its another night where I COULD have met someone nice. You never know.
Any words of advice or input is appreciated, I'm in such a rut over this.