Does this guy like me?

[GirlOne]

Okay, please help me work out 1. if this guy likes me 2. what I should do

Me and this work colleague are working temporarily in a job with no notice period. We started on the same day 3 weeks ago, our job can end at any time and is in fact ending any day now.

He is super friendly to the rest of the guys and girls on the team. He is single and straight. We are both 30. We both have menial jobs.

He sits opposite me and I catch him looking at me or we look at each other and quickly look away. One time he tried to make me laugh. In meetings he positions himself so he is looking directly at me. I have made him laugh and smile since I have known him.

Our job is ending soon.

I chat to everyone on the team both men and women and I am friendly and a smiley person.

I have mutual friends outside work with my crush.

It's been 3 weeks and he hasn't asked me out or even if he wants to keep in contact after our job finishes. In our job, it is not a problem to date a work colleague and many people have met their other halves at work.

The reason why I need advice, is that one time ages ago I asked a work colleague out after we had been friends and it turns out the guy wasn't attracted to me and it was awkward, I put it down to experience, although the first guy was really trying to make light of it because he was really wanting to keep me as a friend, I was quite happy to lose the friendship and ignore him due to my hurt feelings, he thought our friendship was too valuable. I felt a fool for misinterpreting his friendly signals. A female colleague had later told me that this first guy had been hitting on her and had I known that at the time, I would have not asked the first guy out (in any event, the female colleague wasn't attracted to the first guy and the first guy immediately lost interest in her). The whole episode made me realise I never wanted to ask out a guy ever again, as I ended up rejected, embarrassed and felt a fool.

This time, I really am not sure what to do. One of my male friends said that if you know a guy and he is attracted to you, if he hasn't made a move within a month of knowing you, he doesn't like you.

Because our jobs are ending, I want to keep in contact with this guy and/or develop things further. What do I do?

Also, is he only looking over at me, because I am looking over at him? At what point does staring over at someone because you think they are staring at you? I say staring, I mean quick glances where our eyes meet.

How do you know when a friendly guy likes you or something more?

Please help. I've really come to really like this guy and it saddens me this guy could be out of my life forever soon unless I do something, but if I do something, I could be embarrassed again.

[basilandthyme]

If you want to keep in contact with him, then tell him. His interaction with you (or lack of) after you leave, will let you know how serious he is.

[nena88]

ill say so!!

[GirlOne]

ill say so!!

Thank you, both of you above :-)


But just because he looks over at me ... is that because he is looking straight ahead and he has nowhere else to look?

He has natural friendly conversations with the other girls in the team, but he is a little different with me (still friendly with me) but is that because I am a little nervous (only a bit, as I am a happy friendly person, just I really like him).

Also, he tried to impress me several times (I was impressed).

what if I ask for his contact details and he seems evasive? Do you think he will tell our mutual friends? Has he already spoken to our mutual friends?

Also, what if I ask for his contact details and he gives them, and I want to go for a drink with him ... do I ask him that? (and reveal my hand?) ... like I said, after my disaster with the first guy where he turned me down, I now am scared to do anything in case I get turned down again. Also, isn't it a guy's job to ask a girl out? ...

[basilandthyme]

Ok then, be scared and stick to gender stereotyping.

[GirlOne]

Ok then, be scared and stick to gender stereotyping.

lol ... point made, you're right.

Today I did say something to him, but it was garbled mumbling (I didn't ask him out or ask him for his details) basically I wanted to tell him we had mutual friends, but it came out all wrong as if I was stalking him and we've been sort of ignoring each other all day. Hopefully tomorrow it can bounce back to normal.

[hatesthis]

I think you know if someone likes you or LIKES you in more than a friendly way but how they look at you, talk to you and how it makes you feel back. You pick up different vibes off a guy who is interested in you over one who is just being nice to you, like he is to others. If you like him back and he hasn't asked you out they you ask him out instead. Even if for coffee, or a drink after work, or on the weekend.

[GirlOne]

Thanks. However, after the garbled debacle over saying we had mutual friends, which suddenly came across like I was stalking him, it might be lucky if he even wants to give his details out, let alone meet for a drink. As someone above says, I'll know by how he keeps in contact after the job ends. Aarhhhh, I don't know why I was so nervous around him, I am such a relaxed easy-going person with all the rest of the girls and guys. Why I am I such an idiot around a guy I like?! ...