I really need some advice.
10 years ago. I met a guy, we fell in love, and had a really intense relationship. We were at uni together. We literally kept fighting, but stayed together for a 1 and half. Then we split up. I got with someone else and so did he. A lot of bad thing we both did, but we had a lot of good times.
When I became single again, after several months, he was there and we got back together again.
Now my problem is, we both knew we wouldn’t end up getting married. There is far too much damage that has been cause in our relationship.
However 10 years on, we are still meeting each other. Last time I saw him was 15th March, but before that I saw him 5 months ago, and before that it was several years ago.
Everytime we meet, it’s the same thing, He is really awkward at the start, we always bring stuff up from the past, which then ends up with me doing the same, and we end up fighting. We act like a couple, kiss hold hands and I tend to sleep in the same bed as him, but I don’t let him sleep with me. He always tries to have sex, but I don’t allow it. Every time we meet our memories are mentioned. Our mention the good times, and he mentions the bad. I understand I hurt him, and I have asked him many times to forgive me. What he doesn’t understand is how much he hurt me as well, and when He goes on about how he got hurt, I then tell him how I got hurt, and he denies he did anything!
This is now been happening for ten years. I love him dearly, but what is going on. Every time I am with him feels so right, but then I leave and I feel like I have just broken up with him. I am on a high, but then the come down is when I leave.
I don’t know how he feels about me. He tells me I need to get married, I should start looking for someone, and he can help me with it! Then he holds my hand, and we are cuddling?! What should I do?
Should I stop meeting him, even though we hardly see each other?