I'm SUPER into this girl from my class (College)

[tekkenfan2]

Hey everyone! I'm new here

So she's a 21yr old Cancer

So I walk into my class when school begins this semester and see this girl, she's cute I'm like eh maybe I'll talk to her. So I go home later and I'm on Okcupid (yes lame I know lol) and I kid you not this girl is in my potential match list with a high compatibility rating. So I read her profile and see she's into some of the same things I am (ex. Anime) so I msg her on Okcupid and she reads it but doesnt reply (I have never talked to her in real life at this point and my message wasnt the greatest so I could understand why haha) Anyway, so we go back to school the next week and I get her number by borrowing her notes, after a few classes I start walking her to her next class everyday.

So fast forward: Known her for a lil over 2 months I've asked her to hang out once or twice but she is REALLY studious so between that and activities w/ roommates/other friends she is usually busy and cant. (However she always tells me in advance if she doesnt think she can and tells me in detail why she cant) We have hung out like 2 times now (sitting down and talking) when I give her back her book or we both just are free at school, not something planned though
I also got her flowers on valentine's day and she got me a gift bag, a card, and some candy lol. (I had told her I got her something the night before, so she got my gifts the morning of)

So this results in me only talking to her over text and while I walk her to class. She has told me she isnt blowing me off, I do believe her because she is honest with me so I have no reason not to. One the most recent occasion I was even like if you don't wanna hang out its cool (to see what she says) and she is like I really want to so bad, but something always comes up! (This is pretty much verbatim)
One time I hung out with her and her friend that has class w/ us (another girl, also a good friend and her roommate) and the friend asks me how old I am and the girl I like says you asked me that already to her, starts a pretty funny exchange of "no you didn't" lol
I've done nice gestures towards her like one time we hung out and I had to pay for her to ship something small cuz the place didnt take credit card, Her phone charger got a short and I gave her mine and took hers (she was telling me a new one was going to be expensive and was sending her out of her way, this was on a day we were supposed to hang out later, but didnt) one day it was looking rainy so I gave her my umbrella.

Yesterday we hung out for 2 hrs (not planned, she was supposed to be doing schoolwork, I just told her I wanted to talk to her after her classes) and just talked. Sp we start talking about relationships we talked about relationships and she was saying she doesn't think you can have a serious relationship in college because of time constraints, both people not putting the same amount of work in, people moving because of graduate school/jobs and getting separated etc. So I asked her if she has any experience and she said a little, but she's never been in a serious relationship, I tell her I have been in one, but you can make it work if both people really want to. So I tell her I like her but if she just wants to be friends that is cool also and she doesn't respond, doesnt blush or look upset, no body language of any sort to read, not that I saw anyway but the conversation continues so she lets me walk her home and I'm like so you didnt say anything when I told you I liked you and she is like well I dont really know...we pretty much only talk over text (Implying she doesnt know me that well yet I assume) and I'm like well I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend right now, I just wanna clear the air so I'm not over here catching feelings. I also tell her we only talk over text because you are always busy and she is like I know, I wasn't saying it was anyones fault. I live off campus, and she doesnt so I think a small part of us not chilling often is she doesn't want to send me out of my way, and she usually does school work during the day and unwinds at night, she has mentioned this once.
Signs come up at some point in the convo and she says that she feels like a lot of the cancer stuff she reads applies to her, and I'm like well I always wanna jump right into stuff and she is like that is terrifying. I explain to her, I usually examine these circumstances before I jump in, but I try not to hesitate because thats how you miss out on good opportunities, which she agrees is true.

While we are walking I explain to her that I'm going to start hanging out with friends that live on campus so if shes is free (she chills at night usually) she can let me know so we can hang out. Also when we are at her doorstep (I'm graduating this semester and she has another year) she asks me if I'm moving away after I graduate and I'm like nope (I have a job right now), so I'm trying to find a better one in the area, I'm gonna be here while I transition.

So I'm wondering whats next I'm pretty sure she likes me to some extent but I dont know what to do next. I'm thinking I'm gonna just be a lil more aggressive in trying to get her to hang out any other advice?

Thanks for reading all this! If I'm breaking any rules let me know
I'll be on here to provide more details/clarify stuff.

[smackie9]

I didn't have to read past the first line. Aries and Cancer are the worst match up ever. It will not work. been there done that.

[tekkenfan2]

You cant base a whole relationship off of signs, I merely put that as a reference point. But thanks anyway

[smackie9]

She's been lukewarm this whole time. The signs and excuses are there that she isn't that into you other than coming out and telling you. So why do you keep forcing this issue by coming on here to ask how to get her to warm up to the idea of dating you. Keep your options open because it's doubtful anything is going to change with her.

How do I know this? Because I went to college and I had np dating or having a BF. Being too busy never stopped me if I was really interested in someone....or maybe that's because I'm an Aries. lol

[SqueakyClean]

I am 21, a Cancer, and I have definitely acted in the same way as the girl you described.

I have a feeling that she will remain uncertain for a while, especially because you are staying in the area after you graduate. If you were moving away, she would not want to pursue a relationship. As it is, she sounds like she is keeping you as a potential. The Valentine's Day gifts are a positive sign, and hanging out for two hours when she is by nature a studious, slightly anxious person is also not a given.

It is really up to you. She is sending you a hundred signals that she doesn't plan to get involved in the near future, but she appreciates your company and may go out with you one day once she has fully scrutinized you (decided that the two of you have a natural connection and that you are worth it). If you could see your friendship persisting, then back off a little but still be there to support her. Make her want you by talking about your future in an optimistic light and showing support for her goals and abilities. If a long-term friendship with no guarantee of dating will only frustrate you, you can push her to the side for now like she has a tendency to do. Reconnection is usually an option.

[smackie9]

btw you are best to find a nice Leo girl.

[tekkenfan2]

Thanks for the replies!

So I noticed a BIG mistake: "I just wanna clear the air so I'm not over here catching feelings and she is like we're just friends."

She never said we're just friends, idk how that got there, I edited it a few times and moved things around so maybe thats how, I took it out so idk if that factored into anyones advice lol

So if I'm pulling back should I walk her to class less often? 2 times a wk instead of 3? Should I text less?
I kinda don't wanna pull back though, because if I want her to keep considering dating me shouldn't I be reinforcing the fact I want her?

Keep the advice coming!

[goodmorning]

my advice is to stop chasing her. talk to another girl. talk to lots of other girls.

[Lizziebee]

I have to say I don't agree on basing your relationship off of zodiac signs, to whomever above keeps talking about it as though it means something. I'm a Sagittarius and my boyfriend is a Scorpio, while we share some traits with our signs everything I've ever seen has said Sagittarius and Scorpio are one of the worst pairings. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and plan to keep it that way for many more years. We've even seriously discussed getting married and possibly having kids. So yeah, nothing to do with signs, it's crap. It has more to do with your actual personality traits, plus never say never.

As for the actual problem here, I'd say she's coming off as a little unsure. I think that she probably likes you as a friend and does genuinely enjoy your company but she's afraid that if she hurts your feelings by telling you she doesn't want to date you that you might stop being friends with her. Also another big thing with this girl is, you've been paying for stuff for her and going out of your way to help her in a jam, it almost comes off as she's using you a little bit. You'd be much better suited to going after a different girl, though you could still maintain a friendship with this girl if you want, just focus your romantic ideas on someone else.

[KingZ]

Hahaha, smackie believes in horoscopes. What a tool.

A Canadian tool.

[IndiReloaded]

I had a guy on a dating site try to connect by telling me his sign...

Ya. You can guess how that ended. (quickly)