Still miss my ex 6 months on. I want to tell her.

[NSx]

My and my ex got together when she was 15 and I was 16.
We was together for 2 years and 8 months.
She was 18 when we broke up I was 19.
It was about 20th August last year (2013) she broke up with me. It's now 31st March 2014.
In the last 3 months of our relationship she was getting closer to this guy she worked with (part time weekend job). He was 1-2 years older than me and a manager there.
About 6 weeks before we broke up she wanted us to have a 'break' but I was very against it so that didn't happen and we continued on together.. 3 weeks after that (the day before we broke up) she went out up the city with her work colleagues as someone there was leaving.
I dropped her off up the city about 9:00pm and picked her up at 3:00 and took her back to hers and we went straight to bed, she wasn't very talkative. The next morning we was laying in her bed and she was very off with me. I kept asking what's up what's up and she said 'you know what's up', and it basically ended there. I was HEARTBROKEN. I got dressed and left. She saw me out, tears in her eyes, tears in mine. No goodbye kiss, I think we hugged though. Driving home in just want to plough straight into a tree. I felt so sick.
Did she cheat on me? I don't know. I don't want to know. Chances are high judging by the way it ended but I try not to think about it.
I think she started seeing him because I'm friends with her neighbour on Facebook, he got a new car, uploaded a pic and I see a car which I believe was this other guys car (from her work) but his relationship status hasn't changed from single (I've checked a few times) and I wouldn't know by looking at her profile because I've blocked her. Also blocked her twitter. The thought of seeing her moving on with other guys would hurt too much so I thought blocking was the best idea.
So yeah. She was my best friend, I loved her with all my heart. I called her beautifull, I called her my princess every day. I paid for the majority of days / meals out. I was never afraid to hang around with her and my friends at the same time. She came to all my family events.

So here we are 7 months down the line and I STILL miss her. I've been missing her more this month than ever. There hasn't been a day gone by where she hasn't popped in my head at some point during the day. I keep on dreaming about her. Some dreams we're still together as a couple. Some dreams we get back together.

This is the communication we've had since the breakup.
About October she texts me saying hi in have a new number how are you? It understand if you don't want to reply to this x
So I never replied, I wanted to try and forget about her.
Maybe 2 weeks later I replied.. We exchanged about 5 texts and that was it.
Then she texts me at Christmas to say merry Christmas. I say merry Christmas back and that was it.
Then she texts me in February asking how I'm doing and we exchanged 7-8 texts.
She texts me again 2-3 weeks ago saying 'was that you who just drove by?!x' I said no because it wasn't. We exchanged a few texts, the last text to be sent was from me. I replied to her asking how my work was going and I said fine fine etc and ended it with you? Or something like that and never got a reply. A week later she follows me on Instagram? .. And that's all the communication we've had.

I haven't been with any other girls in the 7 months we've been apart, haven't even kissed another girl. There's no-one else out there I want apart from her. 7 months I've resisted being the 1st one to make conversation but this past week has been so difficult! I've had my phone in my hands about to text her how I'm feeling every night, but my mind tells me not too. My mind is probably doing the right thing, but my heart is crying out to have her back. I still love her deeply.
What do I do? Do I tell her I still have these feelings?
Sorry about the essay but I thought it best to include every detail so you people understand the situation.

[suddenlynothing]

First stop apologising you feel hurt and you want to feel better nothing wrong with that. Im in the same boat as you in many respects, my ex broke it off with me and i was gutted but i im just accepting it, i was with her for 4 years and she was in love me and then one day it just changed unfortunately shit happens. She messages me twice out of the blue but not being nice like yours just being a bellend. Anyway im just ranting......this communication between you and her is just so she knows that she can still have her life and spy on you in all honesty it doesnt mean shit, women are sooooo much better at this then men because of the vagina im not even joking, look at the lengths men will go for it, for example some Muslims (99.9% wont) will literally blow there bodies apart and kill others for the very unlike event they will get 77 virgins in the afterlife, that is the power of pussy.

I don't like saying it but shes just being a bitch you need communication full stop, it will be hard im not saying wont and you'll feel like shit but in the future you'll know you've done the right thing!

You sound like me, when i got messages off my ex i would later analysis them to death and i still am but at the end of the day, you can only rely on yourself for comfort. She messaged you first not the other way around so she is thinking of you but that doesnt matter you need to move one she sounds selfish to me. You need to get yourself out there, your only 20 you have many a field to plough. Think about this logical there are 3.5 billion women on the planet do you honestly think she is the only one!? we live in the same country that means there are at least 5000 women who will sleep with you and maybe 500 will be absolutely stunning and maybe even 1 or 2 might fall in love with you who knows until you try!!

Dont message her or she wins, do not cave! Your emotions will be very strong for awhile and why shouldn't they be you had a good time together but it has now past. You will grow from this and become stronger, dont be the fall guy show strength not weakness. At the very least show her you can live without her, life is not a battle its a War!

[mkp515]

Wow, you and I are very much alike. This is just my opinion, but I feel that if you should stop all communication with her. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too. Don't let her get too comfortable with the idea of just texting you when she wants and befriending you. Your going through unrequited love and that isn't an easy thing to grasp. You may have loved her but people change and that's not your fault. You have to accept the fact that shes moved on and at first you have to accept the pain your feeling. However, take lessons from your pain. Realize you have done no wrong and give yourself the respect you deserve. Don't dwell on your past relationship with her. One of the best pieces of advice I have gotten on this forum is to not apply reason to emotion. Her decision to end things are due to her emotions. Time Heals all. Accept that you MUST move on and deserve to be happy.

[NSx]

Thanks man. Appreciate the comments.

[Valixy]

I don't think that her position has changed much since you broke up or she would have looked for you. Those who decide to leave the relationship without being pushed away by their partner can either realise what they've lost and express it or never give signs of going through such a process. Her few texts mean nothing and if they confuse you, you should stop any contact with her, and do all you can to get over the break up in time. You'll get there, just let it go completely and you'll feel so much better little by little.

[pcmaster]

Its amazing how many couples break up when girl become 18. Seen it multiple times here - guy is a little older and loves the girl but when she hits 18 turns into slut and realises she can legaly get any dick so she breaks free to see whats out there. Well man she proved that to be not worth of you. You think shes special - shes not there milion girls out there. You can find a trustworthy girl. Realise without girl looks you can judge her actions and see how good she realy is. Imagine if you did something like that, howz that would be? So dont feel guilty, dont look back in the past dont think and just live for yourself for a while, learn to love yourself and become more mature and confident. Right girl will come with time. In the end only beta griefs on loss. Alpha male realises he can get more than one girl.

Check this guide

loveforum.net/threads/85672-Guide-How-to-deal-with-breakup

[NSx]

Again, appreciate the comments guys/girls. I wonder if I miss her as a person, or miss just having that someone? I think I just miss having that someone... Someone to text all day and night, someone to go out for dinner with every week and cinema and theme parks, someone to take to family functions.

[suddenlynothing]

Yeah exactly I'm in the same boat, your missing what you want not what you need. Amazingly your feelings will change. Accept the grief but also realise the amount of shit you don't have to deal with anymore like, double standards, hypocrisy, strange mood swings, random feelings, PERIODS!! Self involved comments, waiting for her to get ready, her expecting for you to buy everything, her parents and/or siblings, weddings, bumping into flings, bullshit, more bullshit, stupid arguments, clothes shopping, you get the bed to yourself and countless other things I've started to forget.