Still miss her after 18 months.

[paulmc]

18 months ago i was dumped by my girlfriend. we had a whirlwind 9 month relationship that was very fast moving but also very sincere.

we both were very happy with each other and had planned for the future.
we both fell in love with each other very quickly and did everything together. we classed ourselves as best friends and the perfect partner for each other due to the fact we wanted exactly the same things out of life.

she started the relationship with me straight after leaving a previous boyfriend of 10 years (i know i know, not very clever but it happened)
we knew each other from work when she was still with this other guy who basically ignored her for 10 years and spent all his spare time down the pub with his mates. yet he apparently still her he loved her and begged her to marry him and have kids.�
she left him and we started to hang out. i had it in my mind that she needed to heal from that previous crap relationship and she said she needed time on her own but it never happened. we got involved, fast and furious and within 6 months we were engaged.
we never lived together but saw each other 2 or 3 times a week minimum after she left the job we were working in.

anyway, like i started saying she ended the relationship stating that she thought she had rushed into things with me. at first i was devasted. i didn't sleep for days and generally felt numb and empty. i had lost my best friend, my lover, my future wife, the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

i have passed all that now, have dated a few girls (did not want to go into a relationship so soon after the heartbreak) had a couple of one night stands (cant believe i am admitting this). I feel focused on what i want in my life now. Its the girl this post is all about, the one who dumped me 18 months ago.

I think about her everyday. Have done all the time. Maybe I'm delusional but I just feel that we are supposed to be together.

i did not hassle her, i gave her the space she wanted,i made no contact at all, it was very hard, but i managed it and feel proud i did.
I deleted her number when it first happened and removed her from facebook so that made me not contacting easier.

Any contact in the past 18 months have been from her. I have always been polite but not discussed me and her. All the contact has been by text, and it has basically been her saying hello and seeing how I am.

i still believe she is the girl for me. i pushed and rushed her before when i should of let her have her "me time" right from the start.

whether she still thinks about me or not is unknown, i can only assume she didn't bull* * * * me for those 9 months, she wouldn't of done surely if she was so happy showing her engagment ring off to her friends and family?!?!?!?

i just feel that what we had was special but the time was not right.

After all this time and with being involved with other girls. I still only want to be with her.

what do you guys think?

any suggestions or advice would be great.

thanks

[searock]

I think that if she realized that she made a mistake in breaking up with you - or rather, did the right thing for the time being so that she could get over her ex, but now realized that you are the one for her - she would contact you and talk about getting back together. If she doesn't do that, it means that either she still needs time to get over her ex, or she has already gotten over him but she also realized that you aren't "the one".

[paulmc]

Searock. True words.
What if she is scared of saying anything in case she thinks I'll reject her,
Tough situation.
I still love her but don't want to be the one to make a move (also scared of rejection)

[elny1]

Maybe someone else could decide whether this is a good idea, but my idea is you could reply to one of her texts by saying "Do you miss me?" and that could open her up some and make her feel comfortable expressing her feelings?

[searock]

Nah I don't think it would be a good idea - if she misses him, she'll tell him.