In love with best friend, but we stoped talking what should I do?

[Shadow8]

Hi, I am not gonna write the whole story its kind of long, but basicly I met this girl about 2.5 years ago, she was dating an old friend (who I am no longer friends with) at the time and we became really good friends. We have had our ups and downs through out our friendship but in the long run we both have said our friendship was the closest we ever felt with other people, I will admit during the course of our friendship I fell in love with her (i never acted on it or brought it up because she was with someone). She broke up with her ex about 2 months ago, maybe a little longer. We were talking one night and she asked me if I ever thought about there being more between us, I would have prefered to tell her on my terms but didnt want to lie to her so I told her yes I did, we talked for awhile and she told me she did have some feelings for me but did not want to just have a rebound relationship with me and destroy our friendship so she wanted to take time to be single and work out her feelings, I agreed that was a good idea and we didnt really talk much about it after that very deeply, we flirted some because its something we both had wanted to do with each other for awhile, but it playful not much more than friends of the opposite sex might do normally. One night she told me that a guy she kinda knew was flirting with her online, and then over the next few days she started talking to me alot less and differently than she normally did. Kinda like we were just acquaintances again and not close friends. I got a bit stressed and asked her if we could talk about things, I wanted to know if she still had feelings for me or if she had thought it through and decided she didnt want to be with me after all, she didnt want to talk about it and I wound up causing a bit of a rift in our friendship by trying to talk to her. She told me things just felt really akward after that and didnt talk to me as much. With in a week of trying to talk to her about all this she started sleeping with the other guy, she was lying to me about it though saying they were not seeing each other but she didnt hide it well and I knew. They knew each other for maybe 2 weeks before they started having sex and had only met in person like 3 times before I think, all with in that week. She finally admited to me after I told her how much her lying was hurting me that they had been together that whole time but she didnt want to hurt me. Now they have been together for about 3 weeks total including the time she claims she wasnt serious about him but they are saying "i love you" and talking about getting married and having kids like they are considering as something in their near future. I think its a rebound relationship, they moved way to quickly into everything, she never moved that fast with any guy ever before.

So now I don't know what to do. I told her we can not talk for awhile because she hurt me to much by lying, her friendship was more important that anything else and she just kept lying to me. I want to remain friends with her I really do but I don't even know if that is possible right now. I want it to be. Should I just give up on it all, and lose my best friend? Its not really what I want at all.
And if it is a rebound relationship i know its not doomed, but it is less likely to work out than if she had waited, she went from telling she was still depressed about her ex one day to a few days later she was sleeping with the new guy, and then after that she told me she hung out with her ex and had zero feelings for him. I don't know how to read whats going on between them exactly. So should I wait to see if it runs its course, hope that the feeling she told me she had for me were real and that me and her can try to work everything out if they breakup? She hurt me but I know she wasnt doing it on purpose, she was just emotionally messed up form the way things ended with her ex, so I think it is possible to work things out between us if she wants to. even if it is just to remain friends after all and not pursue more. I love her, I know its real and not just a passing infatuation. I don't want to give up on everything to early, I have never gone though any of this before, so I don't know what the best course to take would be. If anyone has any advice or help to offer I would appreciate it alot. Thanks for reading. this turned out long anyways.

[smackie9]

This is going to be a kick to the nuts....you are wasting your time. I think 2.5 years is long enough and you should just move on. There is no way she has romantic feelings for you, if she did she would have never hesitated to pursue you. She's feeding you all kinds of excuses, hiding the fact she's dating someone else, lying to you, how much more do you need that this isn't going to happen. Even if her rebound relationship falls flat, she is just going to tell you the same excuses over again like, "I don't want to ruin what we have." "I think I should be single for awhile." "I'm not ready for anything serious....blah blah, blah blah blah". I have seen hundreds of threads just like yours, and they end the same way....disappointment.

You sticking around in this girl's life has prevented you from other opportunities. You need to remove yourself from her life, if you want to find someone to share your life with. I think she has wasted enough of your time. Trust me, you will be better off.

[Shadow8]

This is going to be a kick to the nuts....you are wasting your time. I think 2.5 years is long enough and you should just move on. There is no way she has romantic feelings for you, if she did she would have never hesitated to pursue you. She's feeding you all kinds of excuses, hiding the fact she's dating someone else, lying to you, how much more do you need that this isn't going to happen. Even if her rebound relationship falls flat, she is just going to tell you the same excuses over again like, "I don't want to ruin what we have." "I think I should be single for awhile." "I'm not ready for anything serious....blah blah, blah blah blah". I have seen hundreds of threads just like yours, and they end the same way....disappointment.

You sticking around in this girl's life has prevented you from other opportunities. You need to remove yourself from her life, if you want to find someone to share your life with. I think she has wasted enough of your time. Trust me, you will be better off.

Thanks for the response, you're probably mostly right and I will take it into consideration. But she didnt waste 2.5 years of my life, 1.5 months tops since that was when we talked about it and decided wait to make sure it wasn't just rebound feelings. Not trying to defend her, just don't like thinking of our entire friendship as a waste I already told her she can't contact me right now, and removed signs of her from my life as much as possible (unfriend on fb and asked our mutual friends not to give me updates on her). Not sure what else to do.

[smithhiles]

Despite of all the advantages of online dating, risks are also involved. One of the major risk is the issue of fake online dating profiles.

[smackie9]

Thanks for the response, you're probably mostly right and I will take it into consideration. But she didnt waste 2.5 years of my life, 1.5 months tops since that was when we talked about it and decided wait to make sure it wasn't just rebound feelings. Not trying to defend her, just don't like thinking of our entire friendship as a waste I already told her she can't contact me right now, and removed signs of her from my life as much as possible (unfriend on fb and asked our mutual friends not to give me updates on her). Not sure what else to do.

Date other girls of course. Get out of the house and get busy with life.