Hey everyone. I have a question about a girl I have been seeing for the past 4 weeks or so and I'm very confused as to how I should take a situation that happened. She was upset I wasn't enthusiastic enough with the idea of us starting a business in the future while she is.
Some background, I'm a 30 y/o doctor about to finish residency, applying for jobs in a field I'd likely get 250-350 K/ yr and she is 4 years younger than me, just finished nursing school and works as an LPN, about to be registered nurse soon. She is also apparently involved in real estate with her mom too which I don't know much about, but she had said she makes "enough" money to support herself and a family if she needs to (she lives with her mom still though). I am getting jobs in my home state about 11 hours away and would start work likely in 3 months, I'm currently applying/interviewing for jobs.
We met online. I had felt our relationship was going great. I had never felt such a strong a connection to someone or had one move so fast. We were kissing within an hour of meeting and spending the night together after a couple more meetings, etc. She seemed so infatuated with me and I was falling for her quickly too. Our dating has also been pretty low key. Most girls would suggest nicer (and a lot pricier) restaurants, plays etc. With her I pay for all our dates, but I've only spent maybe 160 bucks on about 4 dates/outings between the both of us (really absolutely a very little money to me). She doesn't dress fancy or drive an exceptionally nice car, doesn't live in a nice area. She hasn't asked me to buy her anything, knows I don't wear anything pricey, knows I live in a TERRIBLE apartment. I've been trying to take her to nicer places to be honest that I want to go also.
But this week, she was weird. We were having a small argument about her avoiding me for a couple days and she was concerned about my true feeling. After talking for awhile and expressing sincere feeling towards her, she asksed if we could meet later that night and when I first met her, she asked me about an idea she had of us buying a nursing home in the future with me investing in it and being the medical director and she running things (NOT NOW BUT 5/10 YEARS IN THE FUTURE SHOULD WE GET MARRIED AND ALL, SHE KNOWS I HAVE ALMOST NO MONEY NOW), it was hypothetical. It was my first time hearing it and I had never thought of it and just thought she was making conversation so I said "I had never really thought about that but now I can barely pay my rent, let alone think of buying a business" and she was very upset. This is apparently her dream and she thought I was just shooting it down. So she was saying we should stop seeing each other, that she needs to be with someone with bigger ambitions and dreams, etc... Well we talked for an hour and she seemed a little less upset when I explained that I felt blindsided by this but still.
On the one hand, it's not a bad idea. I don't know how I would invest my inevitable extra earnings money. That and she was not saying she wants me to get her a fancy car or clothes or some stuff like that. But it would still be a big decision on what to do with my future income (remind you, I don't even have a job yet and 240k in loans, and taking the boards, and working). The few talks about money we have had in the past was she asking if she could possibly stay home with the kids when they are first born for awhile, which I think is a great idea (i secretly kind of want a house wife in general). A second thing was before we met on her online profile, she had on her "match characteristic" an "income >150 K" so my initial email was basically me asking her why that is the case (in an intentionally condescending way too, not planning to meet her then) and she had said because she makes a good amount of money herself and wants a mate who also does.
So my question is should I take this as she is just forward thinking and being practical about the future (she does plan WAY to much in general) or her just looking at me as one to fund her dream. I'm not an idiot and I know ability to support a family is something everyone looks for in a serious mate and I know I could provide, but I don't want to be used either. I do think if we continue, I'd be asking her to move with me away from her home state/city and family and that's only a couple a months away (hence the reason she asks me all these deeper long relationship questions).
FYI: Her getting overly upset over such a benign and in my opinion reasonable comment is a whole other issue that's annoying but I could get past. But what do you think about the money/being used question and what should I do? She has been overly sensitive in the past too about other things we talked about.