Issues with social network flirting and self respect in clubs

[soccerguy987]

Hi guys,
I just wanted some advice on flirting online - especially with twitter and tinder as new ways to find romance. Friends of mine have used twitter and tinder as ways to get girl's numbers(digits) and flirt with them by text and snapchat etc. I don't know how to feel about this as I am more of a person who would like to make one girl special rather than 10 girls at the same time. Also, in clubs my friends will often dance and chat to girls who parade themselves as a piece of meat. This is something that I don't do, as like I've said, I'm not really gonna find a potential relationship partner in a club.

Having said that, I was at a wedding this past weekend where I saw this girl. As there was a lot of family around, I didnt get a chance talk to her as I was too busy getting drunk a little bit lol. She also seemed fairly shy but she was really pretty. After a little bit of Facebook stalking, I managed to find her name. I found she had a Instagram and twitter, but they are both locked. What shall I do? If I request to follow, she might find it weird how I found her? Should I create another profile and follow loads of random people (and by coincidence) her too?

Pls help!

Thank you. From your friend
-soccerguy987

[somehelp4me]

Do you have any common friends on FB or IG have them tell her you would like to add her and how you know of her and your screen names.
Then when your add request goes to her she will know who it is for and add you.
Don't catfish her for ffs.

[DWizard]

If you found her, you can still send her a message. Be upfront, yet gentle and write her a letter/message.


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[Wakeup]

You didn't have the confidence to go up and say Hi to her and now you don't have the confidence to just say hi to her on the internet. Its guys like you that quickly put themselves on the friends ladder and to become friend zoned.

She's only a girl that you don't even know so you shouldn't be worrying about what she's going to think... the very fact that you've approached her (even if in the lesser degree of online) tells her that you're interested in her so don't make yourself a friend zoned friend by being non-confident and by caring about her reaction before you even know who tf she is.

[smackie9]

You didn't have the confidence to go up and say Hi to her and now you don't have the confidence to just say hi to her on the internet. Its guys like you that quickly put themselves on the friends ladder and to become friend zoned.

She's only a girl that you don't even know so you shouldn't be worrying about what she's going to think... the very fact that you've approached her (even if in the lesser degree of online) tells her that you're interested in her so don't make yourself a friend zoned friend by being non-confident and by caring about her reaction before you even know who tf she is.

Ding ding we have a winnah!

What I find most amusing is how they comment how impossible it was to talk to them, like family was coc k blocking them or something lol.

She has her accounts locks because she doesn't like random guys messaging her, she has never met. You missed your window of opportunity. Next time grow a set and introduce yourself. Hell you were at a damn wedding, wasn't there dancing?? You could have asked her for a dance duh.

[michelle23]

Just send her a message saying you saw her at the wedding and think shes cute. Ask her out for coffee. You have nothing to lose. And date whatever way you feel comfortable. You dont have to be a sheep and follow what your friends do. They sound like losers anyway

[soccerguy987]

Thanks guys for the replies so quickly - it was informative and humorous to read lol.
In reply to some of the comments - I don't aim to catfish - I was going to make a twitter account on football and she would be one person I'd follow. I'm still yet to make a decision to follow her from my personal account - but we'll see.

As for when I saw her, it was a traditional wedding - I'm not a Christian so it was a wedding of a different religion (just to let you know). As for approaching her, I wasn't scared to talk to her - I was busy socialising with males and drinking etc. If you search for my previous thread, you'll see that I was quite scared to talk to girls - but now I'm not as I have a totally new mind-set for talking to girls. My mind-set is just to talk to someone who I would think would be a good relationship partner. I am not one for talking to girls who parade themselves, getting with random girls etc.

Once again, thanks for the quick replies! If anyone has any other views, pls comment

Your friend,
Soccerguy987

[Wakeup]

Thanks guys for the replies so quickly - it was informative and humorous to read lol.
In reply to some of the comments - I don't aim to catfish - I was going to make a twitter account on football and she would be one person I'd follow. I'm still yet to make a decision to follow her from my personal account - but we'll see.

As for when I saw her, it was a traditional wedding - I'm not a Christian so it was a wedding of a different religion (just to let you know). As for approaching her, I wasn't scared to talk to her - I was busy socialising with males and drinking etc. If you search for my previous thread, you'll see that I was quite scared to talk to girls - but now I'm not as I have a totally new mind-set for talking to girls. My mind-set is just to talk to someone who I would think would be a good relationship partner. I am not one for talking to girls who parade themselves, getting with random girls etc.

Once again, thanks for the quick replies! If anyone has any other views, pls comment

Your friend,
Soccerguy987

Listen: Good for you for thinking that you've overcome your fear of talking to girls but you're not home free on that just yet. The very fact that you noticed her and then later took the time to even creep for her on social networking sites tells me that you were not too busy hanging with men and drinking but rather you were too timid to just go up to her and ask her to dance or, even see what she was drinking and see if you could get her one on your way to the bar.

Next time you see a pretty girl that grabs your attention in such a matter, truly don't be too shy. It takes but five minutes away from your drinking buds to ask a girl to dance or to ask her to join you for a drink. If she says no then you can get on with your life and give her nary another thought. Her loss, not yours.

[soccerguy987]

Thank you for the advice WakeUp, I take everything I read into proportion. Yes I have got over a small fear I have and I agree, I'm not "home free" yet. I might follow her on twitter, and see what she says. And I didn't creep on her on Facebook, she liked a picture of some people at the wedding and I just happened to see who liked it.

Thanks for the advice too - maybe next time I see a pretty girl I'll ask her if I can buy her a drink. Sasha Daycare's question and mind-set is also something I will try - before asking for a number. Funnily enough, I was in a club and tried it - just randomly to prove I can do it - and it worked! I made the girl laugh, smile and everything was about her. She gave me her number, but my phone crashed and I lost it. But it doesn't matter anyway, as even though she was stunning - I had no interest to date her.

[Wakeup]

There ya go, practice makes perfect. Well done. Now... just get up the confidence to do that with a girl that you do have (initial) interest in dating and next thing you know, you'll be doing just that.

[soccerguy987]

Yup, I would personally say I'm getting better at this type of thing - but still a long way to go.
Thanks for the advice - I'll keep it in mind.
If anyone else has any vital tips or advice then let me know. Shall I follow the girl on twitter and see what happens? We shall see.

Also, what is everyone's view on dating an older girl? For example; 9 months older?

[CrasherRob8]

Ok, I wouldn't follow her on twitter and not send her a message. To me THAT would be creepy. At least send her a message...

[soccerguy987]

If I was to follow her, OF COURSE I would message to say hi - I'm not sure how she would take it. Personally, if it happened to me - I would defs be a little creeped out at first...but hey it's twitter! She is being followed by someone that I follow - so she could easily of came up in my "who to follow" section right? Is that a good story? Lol

Btw, I'm not scared to talk to her at all. The possibility of chatting to her is quite exciting...
I guess I've gotten a long way from someone who hated themselves for being ugly and used to sometimes cry for being worthless to females. I know my mindset and I know what I need to do. Next step for me is to improve myself. This summer I hope to get a little more money, go gym regularly, build muscle etc.

[soccerguy987]

Status update - she rejected my follow request. It's not like she didn't know who I was. Oh well...as my friend Jay Z would say:
"Onto the next one"

[Wakeup]

But how would she know who you were? She may have not even noticed you at the wedding and you didn't answer another posters question of whether you have mutual friends or not? Anyway, I'd not accept your request either if I had my accounts locked down to so that only the people I knew could follow me. Not everyone needs the attention that leaving your accts wide open brings.