Dear Forum members,
New to this site and in serious need of assistance. I am young, a romantic and perhaps, very naive of certain things.
A little over half a year ago I met a man on a mountain. He was not from there, my home area but was visiting from abroad. Needless to say we began a whirlwind romance and within two months he proposed and I accepted. Quit my union job, gave up my home, packed, saved and went to his land a month later to meet him there.
Well, he was NOT the same person I knew back on my home turf. He seemed, 'Haunted', changed, darker. He worked in the medical community amongst Dr's and therapist' many of whom were his friends.
For the next 4 months I was always sensing something was wrong. I thought, maybe he's just not into me, made a mistake, maybe he's still in love with his ex.
Everything seemed rushed. He wanted to get hitched, get pregnant, crikey, I barely got off the plane before he was rushing me to meet his skeptical parents who looked at me like a was some dangerous bug that ought be cooked in that massive pot in their kitchen.
Well, this went on for less than half a year, the strangeness, the odd vibes, the darkness in him. I thought that once we were back in 'My' land, where we met, things would be better for him.
Well, two weeks ago, this is what happened.
I asked him if we could wait on the marriage thing as I wanted my family there too; told him I didn't understand his need to rush everything.
He left, seemed to understand. Then he came back and caught me having a smoke (my only one in 4 months) to which after he rapidly scrubbed out his vehicle and said he'd be back in time for dinner.
Well, he never came.
A terrible feeling came over me.
then his ma called and when I told her I was worried she said, "we are c om ing down" (they lived 2 hours away) then I knew something terrible was going on.
called a friend and we drove like mad looking for him and finally we found his car parked on side of farm land road.
He was laid on his back, stiff, cold, purple and blue with is whole medical kit stuffed up his arm via I.V. with a three page letter to me and his family apologizing
rushed to hospital, they told us to prepare and it didn't look good. they started to look at me like I was to blame but I didn't care, I just wanted him to live. renal failure, family prepared to lose him and told to get ready by dr's, many his peers.
Well, he lived. Thank God he survived. The first thing he said to me when he could speak again was "you should have left me there"
AFter 4 days of praying hard, he was out of the woods so to speak and I went home for a brief change of clothes and rest.
when I called hospita, I was not allowed to talk to him. Panicked, I called other people to see if they could talk to him. None of us could get through.
His Aunt and Uncle pled with me to stay with them awhile saying that his parents were turning on me, blaming me and they wished to protect me for their nephews sake.
I did not believe them. I ought to have.
Two weeks later I was escorted to the airport by his FAther and some big guy and am now in Amsterdam with little money, blubbering all over the place, alone and scared. I don't even know if he knows what's happened. What if he thinks i just abandoned him?
In a quiet moment befoe I left hospital he confided in me that long time he danced with wanting to die. Pi Polar he was and he should have told me. He said i was a last hope and when i became unhappy there, that was his que to go.
I don't know what to do.
Anyone?