advice needed on divorced and separated men...

[TinaCafe89]

I'm 25 years old and I'm dating a 33 year old man. He has been separated from his wife for 4 years now. They live in separate houses, which are ironically enough one street apart from each other. He married her when he was 23 years old and she was 34 years old. When he married her, she was pregnant with another man's baby. He married her because he was here illegally and he wanted to gain his resident card. He's now an American citizen. They had agreed to marriage for him to get his papers and because she needed financial help. So she knew what she was getting into and so did he. However, when they were living together to play the part for immigration to think it was all real, he just ended up staying with her. He even gave the little girl his last name. Now, she's 45 and he's 33 and I'm 25. We started dating only 6 months ago and NO I'm not having sex with him until his divorce is finalized. I do don't want to have sex with him because God Forbid I get pregnant, I definitely DON'T want to raise a child in this drama. My child deserves better. He said that he didn't get a divorce before because he just didn't have a reason to until I came into the picture. I'm college educated, I have my masters and a good career. I have never been married and I have no children. I would ideally like a man who also has never been married and has no children. But, I feel in love with him. It hasn't been easy. He says that he wants to be involved in the little girl's life because he helped raise her but the woman won't let him. The house in which he lives in is also at her name and I'm not sure if he will be responsible for paying child support, since the child is legally his even if he's not the biological father. I want to hear some advice on this situation. Should I just walk away or should I wait for him to get the divorce? He's a good man with a good heart and I know that he loves me but his situation drives me crazy and I wonder if it's even worth it?

[HeartIsAching]

Give him a deadline to get his shit together. If he won't meet it, I'd say walk away.

Their assets and child support/custody is none of your business, but you do have a right to as little complication as possible.

[TinaCafe89]

Thank you for your advice! I needed to hear a man's perspective on this.

[smackie9]

That education did nothing for you in this situation...yer crazy. Red flags girl. One, he scammed his way for citizenship (scrub), and he has frickin baggage. It's 4 years later and he is still hasn't got his shit together with this crap. He has no ambition to get ahead in life. Him as a future husband and father to your child..are your serious??? Don't waste your life on this frivolous affair. I know what your gut is telling you, it's telling you can do way better, in fact you deserve better. You may be smitten now, but the reality is, it is not practical. WALK.

[michelle23]

Id run from this man. If you were a college student, working part time in tesco he would have no interest in you. Hes a user and you need to protect yourself and everything you have worked hard for