really need help understanding this?

[Infern0]

So a few months ago I met this girl, we started to hang out a lot and I developed strong feelings for her. I started to think she was flirting with me, and when I would talk to other girls she seemed to get jealous.

One day she texted me and asked if I liked her, I told her to come and see me and I told her that yes I really do like her.

She didn't say anything and eventually I was like it's fine just go home.

when she got home she text me this huge huge message that was so confusing.

she has depression and an eating disorder, but also she was sexual abused at a young age.

She said some very mixed things, that I am the only person that ever understood her and can make her happy, that she told her friend she could see me and her having a future together, that she got jealous and didn't want to lose me. And then she said she thought maybe it was just a crush that would go away but it didn't go away. She was so upset at this point and I was having to calm her down

But then she said she was not attracted to me, but she said she "doesn't know how to be attracted, she is so messed up she doesn't know how to feel that about someone"

At this point I said let's just take some time but my feelings stand.

now it's a few days later, we haven't talked about it but she texts me all the time about this innane stuff. And I'm struggling.

she has done sexual stuff with guys because I guess like a lot of abuse victims they do this to validate themselves.

I don't know what to do because I don't care that she has problems I do want to at least try, and I think we'd really work together because I don't just want sex in fact I want an old fashioned relationship with her because she's so special and o want to feel that with her.

but what do you think does she like me? Is there hope for this to work? If so I feel like the longer I leave it we may just be friends.

I know it's selfish but that's not really what I want, I feel too much for it to work. Usually I'd just say that but she's so fragile that I think maybe she just needs time?

Sorry to ramble I'm just so confused because I guess all the normal rules don't apply here

[michelle23]

Has she gotten therapy to help her deal with any of this? Is she currently in therapy now? If no, then I dont recommend starting something with her..she needs professional help and you cant take away her pain. She will likely just mess you up too without intending to. Sorry but you cant fix her

[Wakeup]

If you were my son I would give you advice and opinion on backing away from this girl and doing the slow fade on her.

You can't fix her and she will bring you down into her low way, way before you can ever bring her up to your higher emotional level. You trying to fix her will whittle away at your own confidence and self esteem when you fail at every turn. In other words, she'll suck the life right out of you.

Even if she is in therapy, she is in no stretch of the imagination ready to be in a romantic relationship with any one. She's warned you about the tip of the iceberg that is her dysfunction. Don't ignore that warning.

[happyguy]

This is likely not what you should be hearing, and perhaps I'm not the right man to help you with this, but I feel compelled to share.
A long time ago I met a woman with problems, eating disorder and strong suicidal tendencies/severe self harming but like a sap I fell for her. My empathy managed to overcome my selfish needs and over the course of an ambiguously happy and sad year I was there for her, it was very very tough on me, it brought me down low. But I was a crutch when she needed one. She needed me as a friend first and foremost and we worked through her problems. I want to agree with the above posters but sometimes a friend can be just as good as any shrink, as long as you have the strength to put her needs first. We had a wonderful 5 year relationship which in the end succumbed to my demons. If you go into this, don't do it with the mindset that everything will be okay. It likely won't. If you REALLY believe you are mature and strong enough to be there for her without even considering sex as an option for the unforeseeable future then best of luck. Otherwise let her be on her way and find someone who can help. Don't be selfish.