Hello everyone, I've found myself in quite a difficult situation which has been causing me issues for awhile now and I'm not sure how to go about it. I can't approach any friends with this issue either, you'll understand why after you read my story.
I have a large group of friends who I see weekly and we go out drinking and party at least once a week. About 3 months ago we met a couple (boyfriend & girlfriend) at a party who quickly joined into the group. Seeing as they were new to the group they didn't really know anyone that well and I started talking to the girl in just friendly terms. After about a month of them being around I had become pretty close to the girl and we'd talk on a daily basis. From time to time I'd pick her up to drive her to one of our mutual parties or outings if her boyfriend couldn't make it. She ended up opening up to me and discussed how she felt about her current relationship and how she was thinking of taking a break from her boyfriend. We connected through this pretty easily as I discussed my past relationship with her and all my issues.
Eventually we started hanging out just her and I, she'd come over to my house to watch a movie etc. It became clear that she really liked me and she'd even tell me. We probably talked everyday, went shopping together, ate dinner together a couple of times and she'd send me photos of herself all the time. One day out of nowhere she just broke up with her boyfriend, called me and asked to hangout that same night. I didn't know they had broken up till I picked her up and that night she was super touchy feely and we kissed. The following day she wanted to have sex but I turned her down and told her for the best of us and herself it would be better we wait till things where good.
From there on our relationship really progressed quickly. She was over probably every single day and eventually I introduced her to my entire family at a large dinner. I was honestly happy, I genuinely liked hey and thought that something was really becoming of it. Even my family loved her and they hated my EX so that was a huge bonus.
The problem was no one in our large group of friends knew about us, they only suspected. Her EX boyfriend eventually figured out that she was hanging out with me (She told him) and he started suddenly hanging out with us again. He caused a lot of problems within the friend group by telling everyone what was going on between him and her and how she was spending a lot of time with me. As usual with a large group of friends everyone formed their own opinions and started treating her badly (not inviting her to events, outtings etc), I however was fine considering I was the long term friend.
This caused a lot of pressure and problems... to the point where he was calling her daily pissed off. Eventually it made her really depressed and put a lot of pressure on us. Maintaining a hidden relationship behind all our friends backs and having him around was just too much and it wasn't healthy. I had a talk with her and told her it would probably be best for her own health if she be single and figure out what she truly wants, she initially declined but later agreed that it was a group idea. I knew she was lost and confused because she was still talking to him so I figured it was best to let her be alone to figure herself out.
What ended up happening was she slowly starting crawling back to her EX boyfriend. Over the next couple of weeks she started hanging out with him, arriving to events with him and sleeping over at his house all while still talking to me as if she was single! She still talked to me and would send me photos of herself here and there but I didn't really buy into it again because honestly I was pissed off and confused.
It's been about a month now since all of that and they are now back together. I barely talk to her unless it's for event discussion or planning or I'll get a random message here and there from her. We don't see each other outside of the group anymore and we usually avoid close proximity at events but we don't ignore each other. You can tell that there's something there still between us and there's been a few times that I've had other girls around or been talking to other girls and she's blatantly shown jealousy.
The problem is... I still like her.
I genuinely care for this girl and really do like her. The whole reason I was so cool with her being alone and figuring out what she wanted was because I wanted what was best for her. I honestly figured it would help but she just immediately ran back to her EX-Boyfriend and didn't even tell me? It's been a month and we never talk or acknowledge anything that happened between us at all.
I'm constantly plagued weekly by seeing her with him and it kills me inside to not be able to talk to her or treat her as we were. It's beyond weird but her EX acts like nothing has happened either, he invited me to his birthday party, invites me with them all and generally doesn't even care if I talk to her at group outings.
I know it was short lived and our little relationship thing only lasted for about a month... However I've never connected with a girl so quickly or easily before, she's beautiful, smart, funny, interesting and we have SO much in common. Maybe if I never saw her I'd be fine, but I see her all the time and it's just a constant reminder of how much I like her and miss her. I feel like I made a mistake by not fighting for her or by doing something more. She sat in my car at one point and told me how bad she wanted to kiss me after we stopped everything and I simply turned her down thinking it was for her best. Now I regret it like crazy because she just ran right back to her EX.
So, please help me... What do I do? I can't talk to my friends because they don't want to deal with this shit again. I can't talk to my parents because they already know the whole story as well. I've honestly been debating just telling her that I do like her and I regret not fighting for her? As read it's a difficult situation though, because it would cause such conflict within the friend group, especially after everything has ended. This isn't about lust, I never even had sex with her when I had the chance. I know she's back with him and the general response and most obvious is "She has a boyfriend".. but I GENUINELY like this girl.
So what the hell do I do, because these feelings aren't disappearing and I can't avoid my friends every week just to avoid her.
(Just to clarify, her boyfriend isn't my friend and was more of a acquaintance when this was all going on)