How can I make this work?

[elephantgirl]

I am in NO position where I want an exclusive boyfriend and to fall madly in love with him.

I am in a position though, where I have met someone who I find absolutely amazing and I just want to trust my feelings towards him and like him unconditionally - I have never really fully embraced my feelings for anyone. I thought this would be a good place to do it considering there is no expectations between the two of us.

I do go out and hit on guys, dance with some at bars and given the right situation I would go make out with one.
He is on Tinder talking to girls, flirting with girls, one gave him his number and he has been on the odd date here and there. He tells me he isn't actively looking but not rejecting anyone at the same time.

We are both in the same boat. Both really like each other, don't want anything serious but just want to embrace whatever it is we are feeling and run with it.

I can see him struggling. I feel he likes me more than I like him. He is always texting me, asking me to hang out, talking about "us", tells me how addicting I am, how wrapped up and distracting I've become. I am seeing him struggle with it because he doesn't want to feel the way he feels for me. Sometimes his body language is really distance and he seems closed off, others day we are so wrapped up in each other and loving every moment. Recently, he has been talking about other girls more often, I feel to get a rise out of me, to make me jealous - to push me away? I never tell him about the guys interested in me or the dates I've been on unless he asks.

I have never been in a relationship like this and neither has he.

I just want to like him. Have fun with him and embrace him. He is making it difficult, though. I don't want him to be texting a girl when we are together - just to prove to me we are not going to be serious - I know that, I don't want to get serious either but the time we have together is our time, not a time to push me away when it's unnecessary. Our conversations about us have grown to be uncomfortable as we like each other but this struggle of getting attached frustrates us because we don't want to be exclusive (because we want to be single)

Recently, we were talking about if either one of us sleeps with someone else. He told me he wouldn't care if I slept with anyone else. I said I didn't care either. He said, if he did he wouldn't tell me anyways because he's afraid it would be an ultimatium. That kind of bothered me. I wouldn't tell him either but he isn't going to tell me because he doesn't want me to leave him. He is on a work vacation right now, before we had this talk I asked if he was going to find some lady to bring up to his lavish hotel room, he said it's temping but he doesn't do one night stands. But I feel that he would just do it now to prove to himself he doesn't like me as much, to keep himself away from me? Last night, I was bothered because we stopped texting and I was just thinking of him being with another girl. I am a jealous girl, though he doesn't know that because I don't let him see that side of me. He isn't my possession. Is this all an ego thing? How do I make this relationship work?

[pcmaster]

At first you said that he likes you more than you like him and now you are asking how could you make this relationship work.
I see its kinda broken because both of you wont put yourselves in vulnerable position like for example confessing feelings, making relationship exclusive.
Basicaly I see here only two options:

1)Make relationship official, make it clear you want to be exclusive
2)Date casually and keep dating other people, keep it open relationship with no devotion and sacrifices or obligations

[elephantgirl]

I want to make it work as in your option [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2]#2[/URL] , sometimes I find it hard to embrace how I feel when I see he is struggling and I feel is trying to push me away.


I think I'll just talk to him next time I see him and he starts to do things that are pushing me away.

I'll say, 'Let your guard down, we aren't going to end up dating, the time we spend together is the time we spend together. Don't text other girls when you are with me just embrace what is happening now and don't worry about it.'

I think telling him it's okay to trust his feelings towards me will help him ease up a bit. Then we can just enjoy each other's company when we are together.