Hey people heres my story when I first met my girl we took it very slow our beginning was good at the peak of 3 months until she got pregnant and had a miscarriage , she was devastated i tried to be there for her at lot but then the arguing came alone we argued a lot. It was bad we would disrespect each other we would talk over each other always bad i gave her ultimatums about her guy best friend telling her i didnt feel comfortable with him etc etc , especially knowing they dated long ago in hs but apparently remained friends for 9 years but i could not stand it. she compromised a little for this.
At the peak of 5 months i found out thru facebook that she cheated on me with a coworker, they kissed and flirted at work and their facebook messages were flirtious they never had sex but when i found out i was devastated the coworkers wife told me everything, she was sure nothing else happened although regardless i still felt disgusted, i left her , she kept coming back apologizing telling me she regretted she felt like i wasnt there emotionally with her she said thats no excuse but that it was a dumb mistake n she never wants to make this mistake to repeat she clearly tells me she wants to be with me forever n is willing to work hard for my trust my love n wants to build my confidence and ego up doing whatever needs to be done, gave me every passwords including even financial accounts changed her cell number dropped a lot friends and her guy best friend all for me. She got my initials tattooed on her rib to prove how much she loves me n cannot be without me she claims she was stupid n made a mistake. The attention i was not giving her drove her to commit and regrets jt and hates herself because of the way I have become. Its not excuse for her wrong but things were really bad with us n I do admit i made her cry a lot with our arguments i forgave n i took her back.
Of course there i was cold for the reminding of the months until one day she found out me n my ex were talking n the reason why i cheated was because i felt really low after remembering the Facebook messages how she flirted with this guy it bothered me so much and i know two wrongs dont make a right but i resent what i did because regardless i learned it wuldnt take the pain away.
We have a year now n I still have a hard time letting go of the past she tells me she has done everything for me to prove me she can be a good woman shes moved in with me n wants to help me get out of where i am so we can have our own apt she wants a future with me and everything , I love her for this but why does her mistake haunt me? why do i feel like im second always no matter what she does? is my relationship doomed? should i start with someone new or should i seek help? I know im not perfect either but i just cant get over the fact how she betrayed me for that one month she was flirting with this coworker , that fact that she allowed him to get to her and her attention gets in my mind i feel like a wimp next to her a lot off people have told me to let go but its hard i really felt like she damaged my ego and she cries so much because im not the same anymore n it hurts me to see her that way i wanna get better i wanna be confident i feel like i need God but i know i lve done mistakes n i dont even deserve his help but why does it hurt me so much why cant i feel the same as i did wen i first met her ? why cant get over this ? I want to be happy but i feel cold with her n my love is just there but mixed with fear n distrust ?
Recently she left my house for 2 days to be with her parents because of an argument we had she was going to come back the next day n now i told her i want time to myself n ill let her know when she can come back shes devastated and crying but she respects any decision i made im taking this time to think n to see how can i rebuild myself part of me misses her n i do love her but the other part is like the anger is still there Please i beg someone help me?!!!!