I'm not even entirely sure how this happened...
The first guy I have been seeing since June. We see each other once a week, not overly committed to each other, we give each other space but make time for each other. I like it. It's perfect. It's what I want. NO commitment. Also, he is gorgeous, intelligent and the sex is great. Like I said, no commitment so I went on a date with another guy about a month ago.
It was a fine date. The next day I texted my first guy to hang out that day, he said he was busy. Later that night I went for a walk and saw the first guy on a date with a girl. It really bothered me. So I went home had a bottle of wine while I was in the bathtub and texted the guy I went on a date with the night before.
He invited me over to his place and He didn't know I was drunk but we watched a movie, made out and then had sex.
The next week I ended things with the first guy. Then a couple days later we got back together.
Then for the 2-3 weeks I have been telling myself I'll end things with the second guy but I never end up doing it because we have so much fun together.
The guys don't know about each other. I haven't felt the need to say anything because my plan every week was to end things with one of them.
At the end of the day I want to be with the second guy but I don't want a boyfriend right now and that's what we would be if I stopped seeing the first guy. If the second guy found out I was seeing another guy he'd be extremely upset and possibly hate me.
Yup.
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Thread: I'm dating two people at once
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14-08-14, 01:32 AM #1
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I'm dating two people at once
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14-08-14, 02:35 AM #2
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Keep dating both of them. I'm sure both guys are seeing and having sex with other girls as well since none of them are committed to you. Until you make it official with one of them, just date them both.
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14-08-14, 02:44 AM #3
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Originally Posted by dontaskme
The second guy is only seeing me. He wants to be my boyfriend. I know for sure he isn't seeing anyone else.
The first guy, well who knows what he is doing, I'm not too concerned over him as I know he wouldn't be upset if I told him I was seeing someone else.
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14-08-14, 02:50 AM #4
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Tell them both you want open relationships then problem solved, that tells them you are not monogamous with them and they don't need to be with you. Everyone is on the same level and no one is playing or lying to anyone, hence no guilt.
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14-08-14, 02:59 AM #5
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well, if the second guy is not making it official that he only wants to date you, then you are not obliged to say anything to either of them.
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14-08-14, 07:36 AM #6
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People these days having casual sex and spreading aids.
A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything
She uses logic and manages her emotions
She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them
She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions
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19-08-14, 12:14 AM #7
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Not if they're practicising safe sex. And I hope that you are, elephantgirl! Originally Posted by fearoflove
Besides, this sounds like more than "casual sex". If there's an emotional connection between you and both of these guys, that's non-monogamy. Make it RESPONSIBLE non-monogamy and you could be onto a good thing.
Here's a site: [url=http://www.morethantwo.com/]More Than Two | Polyamory Resources and Guidelines by Franklin Veaux[/url]
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19-08-14, 03:41 PM #8
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I've been in this exact same situation & ended up with nothing.
What I learnt. Put yourself & your feelings first & date both until you know if you really want to be with the second guy. Don't burn guy 1 until you're 100% sure on guy 2 is right for you
I made the mistake of putting girl 2 feelings first & just made a total mess of it. Dumped girl 1 way to soon. When I realised girl 2 wasn't right for me Girl 1 didn't want to know me.
Good luck
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19-08-14, 05:19 PM #9
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You can't start a relationship on a lie. Why are you messing him around? He doesnt deserve that.. and why are you so commitment phobic? People like you just piss me off. Why drag others through your emotional crap? Its so selfish and immature. If you have issues then be alone until you work through it. Stop having sex coz you obviously cant stop yourself from getting attached even though you say you dont want to.. well you tell one guy you dont want to whilst promising another the earth.
Narcissistic much?
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