Am I Rushing Things?

[iCraze]

Sup. I'm in love with my girlfriend. But its a fairly complicated relationship. For example, a simple hug in front of her parents and they almost have a heart attack. When we were younger, we got caught kissing a few times, but nothing serious. We both love each other, its very evident. But due to her overprotective parents, we have to keep our relationship as down-low as possible. I've known her for six years now, and whenever I'm around her everything feels right. She grounds me and keeps me sane. And she understands my heart. My problem is: I want to marry her, but her parents don't seem to believe I'm fit for her for whatever reason. On the other hand, she doesn't care about how they feel about me. She loves me regardless.

Recently, we discussed the possibilities of getting married, but we're both still young. She's 18 and I'm 19. Soon, be sent off to college. And even though I'm already in college, I'm looking at going into the military. She doesn't like the idea of me going into the military, but in her own words "I'll allow it". I've thought about eloping with her, and then taking her with me on base. But I don't want to hinder her own dreams and whatever she wants to fulfill for my own selfish reasons. Should I just wait until a better time and see her on leave when I'm permitted? Should I talk to her about some other options in regard to us being together? When is the right time to tell her parents that I want their daughter's hand in marriage? How should I even go about making her my wife in the long run? I don't want to rush things. And I don't necessarily enjoy the idea of going around what her parents say to get what I want. But I love her and in the end, I feel like we're both on the same page with this. It's just a matter of putting the pieces together where they fit.

[andytownsend]

Sorry to say this but I think her parents are right about you too. You're still very young. You're just starting out. You guys don't even know that much about life yet because you still depend on your parents.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that young people do not feel love or something because that's what other people says. Let's say that yes, you two are really in love but to get married at such a young age when you two haven't gone out and discovered the world yet is not very good. For one, if you're married you can't do all of the things that you want to do anymore, you can't hang out as much with friends, you can't follow your career path (exhibit a, joining the military).

There's still so much to do, you guys still have to grow. Wait until maybe you're 25, although that's still young, you will already have some sense of life by that age. If you really love each other, you can still be together even without geting married. Goodluck!

[TheEvilJester]

I would agree. Though you have been together for a long time, you were young then and are still young now. I do think her parents have no right to be SO over-protective. I mean, you even hug her and they flip out? That is a bit ridiculous. But, they are right to be concerned.

You two are both about to head into college. Focus on that, and focus on getting your lives started. If you truly love each other, a few years won't change that. In fact, they will make it stronger. Think about marriage when you have yourselves a little more established. By then, her parents will have no choice but to respect you for sticking with their daughter, or else they can just go be grumpy curmudgeons by themselves.

That would be my personal recommendation, anyway. But, it does ultimately have to be your decision. If you do decide to go with that, though, don't be shy about talking to your girlfriend about it. If she knows you have a plan, she will likely be more understanding and not worry that you are just stringing her along. Good luck my friend.

[woody]

My golly, every single time I go to respond, 'TheEvilJester' nails it once again. I couldn't add anything else to their advice.
Perfect.

Yup, your young kiddo. Lots of time. Very sweet of you to be thinking about marrying this girl already but once again, if this is the connection for you, it's not going anywhere and will become stronger. Waiting a few years would be a testament to the level of commitment your feeling and the parents will notice this.
Go to school, join the military, she'll do her schooling as well and in a few, you'll both have a better idea and hopefully an income to begin creating a foundation for the rest of your lives. Rush not.

[dontaskme]

Sup with you? Why do you want to marry so soon when you are still both in your teens? Sup with that? Are you rushing? YES you are.

[iCraze]

All of the advice is appreciated. Hopefully, everything works out like I want it to.

[TheEvilJester]

My golly, every single time I go to respond, 'TheEvilJester' nails it once again. I couldn't add anything else to their advice.
Perfect.

Thank you, Woody. I am flattered. Admittedly, I have lost count of how many times I have agreed 100% with the advice I have seen you give, so I suppose we are even. ;-)