60 day he-tox

[haxan]

I'm with Hotaru on this one. I've seen way more out of shape middle-aged women than men. When you factor in that women can do things to enhance their appearance like dying their hair, makeup, tweezing, clothes that 'lift' and 'squeeze,' breast implants, etc. as compared to men who generally don't care as much, it's makes you wonder how much worse the women would look without all that. Single men in that age range also seem to be more financially successful and well-off compared to single women whose career often takes a back seat to having children

You don't get out much do you?

There's good looking guys in that age group, far less than the women though. The one's that are, generally are players due to the sheer ease of getting dates with an attractive female. They aren't the type for a healthy relationship. I know a few and what they do as far as juggling women. No way in hell I'd ever fix them up with someone I know.

Like I said, even the dumpy guys in this age group (which are the majority) are picking and choosing. A guy I know met a female that we mutually knew recently and told me 'ah, she's nothing special that's for sure'. This guy's bald, at least 40 pounds over weight and a life long bachelor. This girl would've never gave him the time of day 15 years ago, but is divorced and lonely now. I couldn't really say anything, because his girlfriend that he's always trying to play around on behind her back is a very attractive woman.

It's just how things work out. To say it's not a reality, is to say that in the high school/college years guys aren't spending their life chasing after cute girls and girls for the most part have the pick of the litter.

The dynamics change. Men degenerate and women blossom more appearance wise. Men seem to become more emotionally crippled and women stronger and more independent. I guess you have to be in it, here the conversations, see the relationships etc., to get a good grasp on it. There's plenty of exceptions, but that's the general pulse of what's out there, imo.

[vashti]

First off, let me just say I love the "he-tox" term! I'm going on two weeks of not speaking with! I should technically be at 3, but he texted me to tell me "Hey, I had to get back on FB for some Denver networking. I'm sorry for our call on Thursday, I wish it were easier. That's all. Sorry to bother." Ugh! I ended up responding, "Ok, please don't feel the need to update me on things like this."

So, week two. Blah! How do you keep yourself from "checking up" on him via social media websites and what not?

I try to keep myself busy, but it doesn't always work.

I don't count your ex's text message as contact; you had no emotional interaction with him, right?

[Call Me Maybe]

ah yes... if I disagree, then attack me personally and insist your observation is more accurate than mine lol. It would be like me saying "you must have very little life experience and therefore, your opinion on the matter carries little weight." I already explained there are many ways for women to enhance their beauty (dying hair, makeup, tweezing, jewelry, clothes that 'lift' or 'squeeze' their body, breast implants, etc) compared to men. If you think women "blossom" more appearance-wise than men, then I challenge all middle-aged women to stop dying their hair, stop sculpting their eye brows or tweezing their mustache, stop wearing makeup, and stop wearing undergarments that misrepresent what they actually look like without them. Let's see if they are still as attractive without any of those things.

[IndiReloaded]

Call Me - you are doing it again. You make a suggestion or point, people say 'no' (religion, therapy) or disagree and you keep going like a dog that won't let go. Especially when you won't acknowledge the actual experience of others. Doesn't make you wrong, just makes you silly to keep pressing your point.

[smackie9]

ah yes... if I disagree, then attack me personally and insist your observation is more accurate than mine lol. It would be like me saying "you must have very little life experience and therefore, your opinion on the matter carries little weight." I already explained there are many ways for women to enhance their beauty (dying hair, makeup, tweezing, jewelry, clothes that 'lift' or 'squeeze' their body, breast implants, etc) compared to men. If you think women "blossom" more appearance-wise than men, then I challenge all middle-aged women to stop dying their hair, stop sculpting their eye brows or tweezing their mustache, stop wearing makeup, and stop wearing undergarments that misrepresent what they actually look like without them. Let's see if they are still as attractive without any of those things.

Believe it or not I get hit on more when I go into a store with my unwashed hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, glasses, and wearing sweats.

[IndiReloaded]

doesn't this apply to both genders? One could argue that many of these attractive and successful women have underlying issues which renders your point moot

Hey, equal opportunity nutcases out there. But I was referring to the divorce stats which show many more women than men filing for divorce. Of the remaining intact marriages, most are not 'happy' (most women stay b/c they are dependent on the man in some way). The old rules for relationships no longer apply. I'm generalizing, so apologize in advance to the very many good men who are out there, but a lot of men think its okay to treat women like their fathers or grandfathers did. Or ignore the requests of their partners for a different, more mature and less dependent relationship.

So, these beautiful, intelligent and accomplished women evolve and decide they want something different from what society has trained them to accept. I will add to Haxan's comment that most get it, based on what I've seen. Sure, it may take more work but I think that's b/c independent people are generally more busy than we all were in our 20s.

[IndiReloaded]

Believe it or not I get hit on more when I go into a store with my unwashed hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, glasses, and wearing sweats.

Same but for the sweats and unwashed hair, lol. I think it makes one look more 'real' or approachable.

[Call Me Maybe]

Indi, please stop trolling per the forum rules. All I said was I agree with Hotaru. I never forced my opinion on others or tried to discredit another poster unlike Haxan who took it upon himself to question my life experience. This forum doesn't need you trying to play moderator when you clearly discriminate against anyone that doesn't share your opinion

smackie, I get hit on more now than I ever did when I was in college. Whowouldathought?

[smackie9]

I'm 48 and I get hit on more than I ever have in my life. A lot of it has to do with attitude and confidence. Guys seem to like it.

[smackie9]

Same but for the sweats and unwashed hair, lol. I think it makes one look more 'real' or approachable.

Yes this is true. I have been told by guys that a more "natural look" is way more appealing to them, less maintenance, down to earth. Guys can be easily intimidated by a women that is all done up, with expensive clothes etc. I went through that when I worked at a night club. I thought dressing to the nines was the way to go, only to find out guys thought I was too expensive to date, that I only would go out with a guy with huge muscles that drove a Porsche. (idiots)

[IndiReloaded]

This forum doesn't need you trying to play moderator when you clearly discriminate against anyone that doesn't share your opinion

LOL, okay. I agree with Haxan then and second his opinion: your posts lack life experience.

[IndiReloaded]

Yes this is true. I have been told by guys that a more "natural look" is way more appealing to them, less maintenance, down to earth.

I think this makes sense. Same for men. Suits aren't appropriate for shopping (or even coffee). If that is your regular attire, surely you'd have someone doing your shopping for you?

[Call Me Maybe]

Guys can be easily intimidated by a women that is all done up, with expensive clothes etc. I went through that when I worked at a night club. I thought dressing to the nines was the way to go, only to find out guys thought I was too expensive to date, that I only would go out with a guy with huge muscles that drove a Porsche. (idiots)

no, I wouldn't say men are "easily intimidated." More like we are wary of a woman who comes across as high-maintenance

[smackie9]

no, I wouldn't say men are "easily intimidated." More like we are wary of a woman who comes across as high-maintenance

Some maybe, but those were their exact words..."too expensive"

[smackie9]

Oh and to add was told they felt I was unapproachable. Maybe I didn't smile enough....maybe because my feet were killing me wearin spiked heels all night. lol.