Just been dumped, should I put up a fight?

[BNZ]

You're right, I should have. You know I've never even really discussed this with him. He's furiously avoided the topic whenever I've made attempts to raise it, and he's only ever talked about it properly with her. Ah well. I'll see them both soon, and decide how I proceed from there.

[Tone]

Wait a minute, this guy is one of YOUR good friends???

I would definately have a talk with him... wait - are you some kind of sleazball or scumbag??? I don't want to help a scumbag get any girl.

[BNZ]

I don't think I'm a sleaze ball, but then again my self-esteem is so low you could probably argue me into agreeing with you right now.

Its not like a stole her away from anyone. While the two of them were dating we became good friends. And after they break, we gradually became better friends, until eventually it just happened. I wasn't even the one to make the first move, and because of my afore mentioned low self-esteem, I probably never would have.

We were both really worried about our friend, so we kept it hidden from him for a couple of weeks, but then came out and told (we were worried that inevitably he'd find out some other way). When we told them, he wouldn't even look at me, and had a long and very emotionally charged conversation with her. When I met up with her afterwards, she said he had refused to let us be together and said it would be best if we went our seperate ways. She then said she'd talk to me later.

I was so miserable, that was the first time I realised how deep my feelings were for her. When she met up with me that evening she said she'd changed her mind, and that she loved me, and it was like my whole world came back. She basically spent the next two months living at my place, as she hated her own.

Our friend seemed to either not know about us or turned a blind eye. He'd get grumpy about us living together, but never outright confronted us with it. I kind of though it would be best to tell him again, but she said it would be best if we kept things quiet for a while longer. Then she moved out to a new place, and I think you know the rest of the story well enough after that.

So, am I a sleaze ball?

[Tone]

You don't sound like a sleaze ball AT ALL, and damnit, son - get some confidence in yourself!!! You're stuck with you for the rest of your life, so you need to learn to like you for who you are. Your life is a gift, never forget that.

Now - I'm just confused why this guy would act like this.. why he would dog you like that to her... I mean it's obvious just selfish reasons cause he wants her for himself and himself only. I'd talk to him and just find out why he's trippin. I'm stickin to my original posts - I would put my foot down with this girl and let her know you're not gonna play this back and forth bullshit game. If she wants to be with her ex, fine, but let ME know so I can be done with you cause I AINT NO PUNK.

[sifu74]

you know, there is an unwritten rule that you do not date your friends ex. if i was him, i would have kicked your ass. seing how he didn't he is a better man than me. you even said you had low self esteem, so when she wanted to date you, because some girls wants to see if they could date two friends, of course you would say yes, because a girl likes you and that makes you feel good. like i said before, i would have kicked your ass!

[carpflounder]

you know, there is an unwritten rule that you do not date your friends ex.

This is a good rule to follow.

[BNZ]

Ah well, I had a talk to her today. She's not in love with him, I worked that much else, but there's also certainly no chance that we'll get back together. I think, in the end she just doesn't care about me that way anymore.

I guess the sooner I learnt that the better, and maybe now I can start to move on. Thanks to you all for the advice.

[Tone]

Sorry to hear that, BNZ.

But hey, that's how it is. Sometimes it doesn't work out, you'll be alright though.