How easily do guys lose interest?

[bluesummer]

I think it's harder to keep a woman's interest than a mans.

Men are pretty base. Keep yourself looking decent, sleep with them on at least a semi-regular basis, slap a few meals down in front of them and don't nag....they're content.

Women will see ANYTHING change in the relationship and absolutely lose it. And if they're not constantly being suprised or impressed, they get bored. Note: this is not directed at any of my fine, intelligent LF regular ladies.

[Charlie Boy II]

^^^ And yet very few women can manage all those things at once.


Seriously though, women talk a lot of shit about not putting up with this or that. But most of the time, they do. They can't help it. And I'm not saying that's a reason to treat women badly. I treat my my girl really well (apart from leaving her in Australia, I guess).

[Mathias]

I get bored VERY easily.

[enterprise]

Speaking of my 16 year old self, i don't loose interest that quickly or easily and I'm fairly certain that if I did it could be easily gained back.

[GrkScorp]

Did you study from books/net/or..?

Well, to be fair.. up until the 10th grade, I was largely clueless.. I had no idea what to do.. the only thing I would do is what my parents told me to do "if you like her, just tell her how you feel".. it seemed logical enough.. and that's why I was always single until the 10th grade.. simply because women don't work the same way..

The first thing that was sort of a news flash for me was "Guys and girls are different, and not just slightly, completely different"

I worked and would save up money from holidays and birthdays, etc.. I came across this book by Michael Webb which talked about Romantic ideas.. In the book, he talked about things guys do, through the eyes of women.. he broke it down in a very rational way.. That's when my interest on the subject sparked.. From that point on, I wanted to know all there was to know.. I became crazed..

I purchased over a hundered books in total on (Psychoanalysis, female psychology, cognitive psychology, behavioral psychology, the human brain, reflexology, cold-reading, proxemics, body-language, facial expressions, lie-detection, etc..) A book on facial expressions made mention of David DeAngelo.. I looked him up online and read some of his material.. I signed up with him and at age 16, I attended one of his seminars.. I was the youngest guy there.. everyone else was definitely over 35.. I don't think he even noticed me there, but he was such a great guy, funny, fun, and a magnetic personality.. The only thing he really inspired me to do was Real-Estate (he was also an agent).. but he put things between the two sexes into perspective..

I looked up his mentor, and his mentor's mentors.. and I quickly found myself learning about Hypnosis, hypnotherapy, Conversational Hypnosis, Indirect Suggestion, Covert Persuasion, and NLP.. It was very powerful matterial, and the only people I never used it on where some of my friends, my brother, and both of my parents.. At age 16, I lost my virginity to this girl Maria over her house.. I told her that it was my first time, she thought it was cute, but then later ended up telling almost everyone she knew.. (that's when I developed my personal stigma against telling people "who" you sleep with, and afford some privacy onto that person, even if it's just once and you'll never see them again)

But then that just started a new crazy, wanting to learn the most I could about sex, female orgasms, and social dynamics.. Again, an other wave of books came in.. and I attended a seminar by this powerful hypnotist "Steve P".. I bought his books prior to attending his seminar, though after I left I felt the urge to want to buy his books.. He's a hypnotist so powerful, women actually pay him thousands of dollars for the "privilage" to go down on him.. (and he doesn't even hypnotize them, he hypnotizes himself!)

After all the books.. I still wasn't that successful with girls until the 11th grade, when I applied what I learned in social dynamics, and everything else.. I would notice people interact and my mind would flash back to everything I learned (body-language, tone of voice, inflection, eye movements, facial expressions, social dynamics, psychoanalysis, cold-reading, etc..) I would ask myself "I know WHAT he/she is saying, but WHY are they saying it? HOW are they saying it? what are they REALLY saying/thinking?".. And through that lens, I was able to absorb a richer experience.. and very quickly.. (I have a B&W photo up in the gallery, you might make note of how much things changed by the 12th grade)

By the 12th grade, my feel and sense of social intuition would not only trump that of females, but of gay men.. It was a serious consequence to pay.. and not a pretty side-effect at all.. It took the magic and mystery out of interacting with people, especially people I was attracted to.. There were great-looking girls, really sweet, smart, and just plain adorable.. but as much as they would try to hide and keep their interest inside and not let it show.. that's how much harder I would be laughing from the inside.. I would call them on it.. and obviously.. many felt uncomfortable..

Through college I developed a new fettish.. namely, older women.. I met a 31 y/o from San Diego during freshman year, during the conversation she told me something like "Age is just a number, and it's not just one.. it's many numbers.. my mind is 60, my heart is 20, and my body is 31.. which one matters to you most?".. I was actually touched.. and responded.. "well.. my mind is 30, my heart is 20, and my body is 18, which one matters to you most?".. we laughed.. then started kissing.. then we had sex.. over and over and over again.. I felt a sense of power, and at the same time, great about relieving her of years worth of sexual frustration..

These days i'm mostly going out with my guy friends.. Most of them simply don't have the desire or will to learn everything.. others don't want to give their ego a rest and listen.. But I do my part and help prevent tragic mistakes.. and i've actually helped nearly all of my friends get with the women they wanted.. and i've found that more than anything it was "fear" that was holding them back.. but once they asked themselves "why".. they simply couldn't come up with an answer.. and litterally, they would be in the company of a great-looking girl.. and while they walked up to her they would ask "why".. and "poof" that fear was gone.. some felt it go away right away, while others took some time before it left completely.. but when it did, what replaced it was numbers, kissing, dates, and well.. i'll leave the rest to your imagination..

[Gigabitch]

But once they love you, they are yours forever unless you become a total crazy bitch. Guys are more stable *longterm* than women, as far as divorce stats go (more women initiate than men).

I agree. After they commit, guys just see it as a "done deal". These are normal guys I'm talking about, not emotional cripples who will cheat on you to stave off their terror of their own mortality.

Before they commit, men have the attention span of a goldfish.

[Charlie Boy II]

So women get their own back after the 20s? I guess it all evens out then.

[Mish]

(now, when you play the numbers game, 99.99999% of all guys don't have the first clue.. they need an official statement in writing "I have feelings for you, romantic feelings, I like you.. I want us to start dating.. Hello! Earth to idiot!")

:Flashbacks:

To aid in the process of course.. girls have this lovely little habit of not wanting to show interest.. (hint: in general, good strategy for people you don't like.. bad strategy for people you do like).. Not only will he get frustrated with you.. even though maybe he likes you.. but he'll move along to someone else.. You also hinder his ability to feel stronger feelings for you.. when you show interest to a guy.. and he likes you.. his feelings for you grow very rapidly..

Ain't that the truth. I was just talking to my cousin about that the other day.

If your action/reaction isn't natural, is calculated, there's an obvious thought-process going on, and isn't consistent with the social situation.. you basically fail.. red flags go off.. very unattractive.. HUGE turn off even for a 10 wearing a silver ankle bracelet..

How to pass? My best advice is.. just be yourself! If you feel like telling him something.. tell him.. if you feel like laughing.. laugh.. if you feel like touching him.. touch him.. if it feels good when he touches you.. enjoy it and let him touch you.. if you like looking at him.. LOOK at him!

You make a good point here. You can't plan interactions. It's all about being spontaneous. The moment you stop being on the spot spontaneous is the moment you stop being interesting.

[Only-virgins]

Nearly 75%..

Plus, guys don't suffer from the 7-year-itch..

....what's the itch thing?

[lemonade69]

To Bluesummer: I thought that was really ood advicethanks!

To GrkScorp: Sounds liek you made a career out of it then! Ohhh! Don't forget about the PM..when you have time of course!!

[Tedel]

Oh, my... did you really do all that, Grkscorp? You just needed to imagine youself with a vulva instead of a penis, and how would that affect you in your daily life.

Yes, we lose interest fast if we are in love. We lose interest fast if you are not willing to take the relationship to anything serious if we are in the mood of having something serious. We lose interest if you want us to prove you we love you every single morning, afternoon and evening. We lose interest if you just don't care about us and use us...

Shall I continue? I'm pretty sure you know the rest.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh, my... did you really do all that, Grkscorp? You just needed to imagine youself with a vulva instead of a penis, and how would that affect you in your daily life.

Lol, well some 40-somethings haven't figured that out, so its not surprising someone at what, age 15 (!), would need to resort to the library. Its a circular argument, to imagine yourself as female when you are lacking female experience.

I think its interesting that someone that age would spend all that time reading up on all that stuff. I suppose, tho, that young teenage girls do the same thing w/Cosmo, etc. GS just seemed to figure out early he could do it too.

But all the reading in the world has nothing on experience. Which, I think, was GS's point. He read tons, but it didn't help until he went out and DID something. Good for him, I say.

[IndiReloaded]

Nearly 75%..

Wow, that high? Daaaamn. Is that for all divorces? What about first marriages only?

I think love is a bad reason to get married.

[Junket]

I think love is a bad reason to get married.

Are you suggesting there's a single good reason to ever get married with expectations for it to last?

[IndiReloaded]

Are you suggesting there's a single good reason to ever get married with expectations for it to last?

I'm not sure I understand what you are asking, Fras. But my point is that I've too many couples throw in the marriage towel once the love 'wears off' b/c they haven't a clue how to function in a relationship without it.

Love isn't a good enough reason to get married, by itself. Its not even the most important reason. Surely you've loved someone that you know you would never, ever want to be married to?

In fact, at the risk of sounding cold & calculating, I would say marriage should be entered into more like a business partnership. And you DON'T get a b-partner b/c you LIKE (or love) them.