I love my boyfriend but...

[cmacattack1]

I have dreams about my ex like once a week. A few months ago i saw him and told him i was in love with him and i almost ended my relationship but i'm glad i didn't Now HE says he wants to talk to me about it and i think he's going to say he's feeling the same way. but i've been ignoring him. But i really wanna know what he has to say.

That's a horrible sign that you are talking to your ex still and telling him how much you are in love with him while dating somebody else? Maybe you should be alone and on your own to figure out what you really want and maybe this will give you enough perspective to realize what you had before. I can understand that if your boyfriend isn't looking for marriage and that's what you want, that maybe you might be looking elsewhere. Doing what you did while dating him is emotionally cheating and it's wrong. Very very wrong.

Maybe you don't feel the spark you do with your current boyfriend anymore, but maybe the question you should be asking is why? Instead of "why do I think about my ex all the time?" and then continue to think about him in that regard.

[bloodtippedrose]

yeah what was so great about your ex anyway? obviously something that is lacking in your relationship now

[Cosmo]

I do want to be with who i am now, but i'm thinking maybe i really don't because i'm having feelings for my ex and people who are in love don't have feelings for other people ???

This is the fairy tale that ends many young relationships. People always fantasize about other people, its pretty normal. Are you sure you aren't my ex? Normal people don't act on those feelings, cheaters do. That's basically all there is to it.
I swear we had this exact conversation.

Though, typically, when you begin to have feelings for someone else there is something wrong with the relationship. Or you aren't happy.
Do you want to stay with your current partner? That's the only question you need to answer.

Having feelings for an EX is almost like the 'easy way out.' There are pre-existing emotions and since you gave them a chance to flourish they've rushed back. You need to consider your current relationship and what is so wrong with it. (probably nothing, you probably are taking everything for granted... another huge cause of relationship failure... there could be a problem, confront it. Love is working through problems. Love is not finding prince charming and everything is perfect happily ever after. Love is work and sacrifice for someone you care about.)

[IndiReloaded]

Sometimes I fantasize about throwing Molotov cocktails at bad drivers. Fortunately, I have sufficient willpower to not act on my fantasies.

Unless you happen to be a woman. Check this out:

[bloodtippedrose]

I love malcolm in the middle

[lahnnabell]

Chica... Why are you digging yourself a hole? You told your ex that you were in love with him? And you're still dating your boyfriend? Wow. Imagine how crushed he would be if he ever found out about that. Do you think he'd ever want to stay with you then? Chances are he won't find out, but imagine if he did... Doesn't it feel terrible to hurt someone you care about?

I am devoted to my boyfriend through and through. If I ever found out he was secretly harboring feelings for an ex, or was in contact with them about his feelings... I'd be absolutely heartbroken and end it immediately. I know that if I began to have feelings for someone new, or an ex, I'd take it as a sign that something isn't right with my current relationship.

You say your boyfriend doesn't believe in marriage, and you're not sure if you do... Take a deeper look at that. Are you telling yourself you might not want marriage to satisfy your boyfriend? If you're not sure, then you need to take some time to figure it out. What if you decide one day that you would like to get married? How's your boyfriend gonna deal with it when you blindside him with a marriage talk when he's already established that he's happy with the way things are?

[TattooedLAdy]

I really just think i'm at the point in my relationsihip with my boyfriend where the newness and excitement is gone and i guess i was just missing that spark. I actually did call my ex back and have the talk with him and explain that while i will probably always hold a torch for him, i don't want a relationship with him b/c what i have now is too good and it would be stuipd to give it up for a few weeks of pleasure. b/c really i think that's all it would be. I 'm glad i called and talked to him. I feel better. My bf did find out that i had those feeligns for him a about 6 months ago. he was sad but understood b/c he has an ex too. we got thru it and got to a stronger place. I really just think being in a relationship for a long time sometimes things loose spark and it's normal to yearn for someone else. I'm not in love with my ex, it was just lust and fantasy. and it's over now. I had a few days to think, and talk to him and get to a place where i realized the truth of my feelings.
Thanks to everyone for your input.
much appreiciated

[Gigabitch]

There's a difference between fantasizing about someone and staying in contact with him. You're keeping the door open for him, and you shouldn't do that if you want your current relationship to work. The ex is getting in the way.

[TattooedLAdy]

No it's not constant contact.It's just once and great while . I just needed closure and i got it.