can you recover from being clingy

[michelle23]

That is a good point, Michelle. I think your particular definition of clingy would also certainly help clarify the situation. For my part, though I've always had some level of clingy feelings when I am interested in a girl, or have a really good friend, I have always been able to mostly internalize it. In other words, I don't call the person over and over and over, or ask them every single time I see them if they may want to hang out.

When I like somebody enough, even just as a friend, I would certainly love to be in contact with them every day. But, I try not to go out of my way to force it, because I understand that it may be a bit much for some people. So, I do make the effort to make it clear I am interested (be it somebody I am interested in as a friend, or a girl I am interested in as more than friends), but I try to then back off a bit and let them kind of dictate through their actions how they see the friendship/relationship and go from there.

I suppose that is good advice for how to handle being clingy. As best you can, internalize it and remember that if the person isn't equally clingy towards you, that doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you, or are indifferent to you. That is one important lesson I have had to learn in life, and it has helped me a great deal once I finally started to realize it. People are different. Some people like to be in constant contact, some not so much. The latter folks, they may think you are the most awesome person in the world, but would still only reach out from time to time. So, in a relationship, they may not feel the constant need to be close 24/7, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are any less excited about the relationship or any less committed to it.

For me, a big part of what has finally helped me to realize that is a really good friend I have know a few years now. She is about one of the best people I have ever known in my life. Loyal, trustworthy, and in many ways a great friend to have. (Just a friend, by the way, before anybody gets any ideas I am implying something.) Sometimes her and I may go months without even talking, but then will pick it up like we never missed a day. Sometimes I will e-mail her or send her a quick text. I may not hear back right away, sometimes not even until a day or so later. But, I always hear back eventually. She has voluntarily (without me asking) told me how highly she thinks of me, so it isn't as though she doesn't have interest in talking to me. So, the way I figure it, if somebody who is that good of a person, and who obviously thinks I am a pretty darn good person (for whatever strange reason, LOL) is like that, then it obviously doesn't mean anything beyond that is just her way.

....I have no idea how I got on that long tangent. .... I hope some of that crazy helped. LOL!

I dont think there is anything "wrong" with you or that your "clingy. Its all about compatibility. When your with someone-its "all or nothing" which is fine. Plenty of girl around are like that too. Some people would probably think me and my bf are "clingy" but were happy that way. We love each others company, are best friends, have so much fun together and awesome sex and we spend a lot of time together without wanting to pull our eyes out.. nothing wrong with that if it makes you both happy.

Soo instead of trying to reduce your apparant "clingyness" for someone else-just find a girl who is the same and ticks that box for you

[IndiReloaded]

Really busy, demanding job = not clingy. Try it.

[TheEvilJester]

I find someone who is overly clingy most likely has a form of OCD, especially those who post a wall of text, it's quite noticable.

Hey! I am not OCD! Now, excuse me. I have to go wash my hands....go wash my hands....go wash my hands. :-P

I dont think there is anything "wrong" with you or that your "clingy. Its all about compatibility. When your with someone-its "all or nothing" which is fine. Plenty of girl around are like that too. Some people would probably think me and my bf are "clingy" but were happy that way. We love each others company, are best friends, have so much fun together and awesome sex and we spend a lot of time together without wanting to pull our eyes out.. nothing wrong with that if it makes you both happy.

Soo instead of trying to reduce your apparant "clingyness" for someone else-just find a girl who is the same and ticks that box for you

Thank you. I think that is good advice, both for me and the OP. Well, assuming the OP's "clingyness" isn't more so actual obsessively clingyness. I do hope to find that girl some day, even if I may not actually believe I ever will.

[smackie9]

OCD comes in many forms, not just ritualistic.

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BTW most grow out of clinginess.