my bf is going to think i'm crazy..

[bluesummer]

I had this issue with my fiance in the first six months we were together. His profile was still up, and I could see that he'd logged on in the time we'd been together (although I think it was only twice). I was in the process of deleting mine.

I can understand how you feel, though. I was cheated on in my last relationship, so when I saw that, I had a huge knot in my stomach. Turns out he had a good reason.

[oh.wow]

i'm hoping that this is the case... we're literally 4,032 km away from each other right now. hehe i google mapped it.

he's always asked me if it bothered me that he has to travel so much and it doesn't really.. the thing that bothers me the most is the lack of communication during that time.

when we first started talking i was sooo spoiled. it was his off season at work, aka really dead. we'd spend hoooours talking all day & night.

we had our first date on valentine's day, exclusive less than a week later.. and then everything goes to shit.

he lost his salary (strictly commissioned), his job was hard core on the line (he's now passed the 30 day trial to prove he can do his job, and 25 layoffs), his dog was put down, and his dad had a heart attack.

by the time he gets back from this business trip a 1/3rd of our relationship he will have been gone.

i don't know him enough to say that i love him.. but i really really really do like him... a lot!! we get along swimmingly, and there's never been any major problems (hopefully this will remain)

i guess i'm used to a bf that is more.. around and not so long distance? and i'm used to not hearing back from my ex cuz that bastard was with another girl.

gah.. i'm rambling and there is stillll no email reply...

[Mish]

Then he's a lying sack of shit and you need to start protecting yourself.

Giga and I should go out on a cheater bashing spree some day

[Gigabitch]

Giga and I should go out on a cheater bashing spree some day

Meh, they'll all have miserable, unfulfilling lives. That's enough for me.

[oh.wow]

i got a reply from the email this morning.. and i don't think he was very happy

here's what he wrote:

"dude, i just a got a link to a UFC test. just checking it out.

but how u would u know if i'm logging in? unless you are logging in as well. which u said u deleted that account.

dude i seriously hope this isn't the part where u become a crazy jealous gf, because i am soooo the wrong guy to bring that approach to."

and i wrote back..

"i'm not a crazy jealous gf, i just missed my bf and looked at your profile pics (google your name, your profile comes up) i did delete my account.

i wasn't trying to offend you just wondering why my bf is still logging into a dating site when he has a wonderful gf..

i don't like having these kinds of conversation via text/email or whatever, but personally i thought it was a legit question.

hopefully you're not too annoyed at me :S have a good one..."

i'm satisfied for now with the answer, but going check next week sometime to see if he's still logging on...

lol, i told you he was going to think i'm crazy!!

[Aeradalia]

He calls you 'dude'?

How casual is this relationship?

[steelsword]

Who cares what he thinks? If he is still active on a dating site it shows how little he thinks of your relationship.

[LoveHurts09]

dude? rofl

um ok, ur going to get walked over.... seriously u have to stop being so nice... wait no, ur not even being nice ur beyond that, ur being unreasonable to urself

u are well within ur rights to ask him why he's still using a dating site... u got cheated on a learnt nothing? grow a back bone, if he loves u he would not even worry about ur question, infact he should be on ur side about it!

[alovehangoverr]

Hah, really?

He doesn't respond to your text [which would have taken a few seconds for him to tell you it's not what you think-- what a boyfriend concerned about your feelings would have done btw.]

He takes a while to respond to your email.. and then lays a guilt trip on you and tries to make you feel like you're a "crazy jealous girlfriend?"

Yeah, no thanks.

As for his traveling-- I'm in somewhat of an on/off long distance relationship in the sense that he travels a lot.. I can't imagine him leaving and not having excellent communication with him while he's away.

Idk about you, but I wouldn't be ok with being in a part-time relationship with someone.. he's there for you when he's home, and when he's gone there's barely any communication. I know people have busy schedules and days but it does'nt take long to reply to a few texts or make a phone call to check in.

[Mish]

here's what he wrote:

"dude, i just a got a link to a UFC test. just checking it out.

but how u would u know if i'm logging in? unless you are logging in as well. which u said u deleted that account.

dude i seriously hope this isn't the part where u become a crazy jealous gf, because i am soooo the wrong guy to bring that approach to."

Did you notice how he still didn't give you an answer as to WHY he is still logging in? The above lines were totally pre-planned, they were to refocus attention from him to you. He is up to exactly what you assume, you shouldn't have even indulged him in a reply, except maybe the one asking him not to contact you again.

[Mish]

Meh, they'll all have miserable, unfulfilling lives.

Okay, Let's bash the ones who don't







You know you want to

[oh.wow]

Hah, really?

He doesn't respond to your text [which would have taken a few seconds for him to tell you it's not what you think-- what a boyfriend concerned about your feelings would have done btw.]

He takes a while to respond to your email.. and then lays a guilt trip on you and tries to make you feel like you're a "crazy jealous girlfriend?"

Yeah, no thanks.

As for his traveling-- I'm in somewhat of an on/off long distance relationship in the sense that he travels a lot.. I can't imagine him leaving and not having excellent communication with him while he's away.

Idk about you, but I wouldn't be ok with being in a part-time relationship with someone.. he's there for you when he's home, and when he's gone there's barely any communication. I know people have busy schedules and days but it does'nt take long to reply to a few texts or make a phone call to check in.

so I've talked to him on Sunday, and we sorted through a lot of the questions i had...

apparently he has no say in his schedule on this trip. clients were freaking out re: swine flu, he's had meetings upon meetings plus demos and conferences.. he's been working 12 hour shifts everyday and has been on a plane 6 times in the past 8 days.

he's gotten my txts, but his phone won't let him reply because we're in different countries (something about his corporate plan)

he's promised to try and email and msn when he can.. yesterday was his only day off and we talked a bunch and worked everything out.

he's home late this week and we've got a date set up already.

he's not been back on the site (i just checked) and said his reply may not have been the nicest as he felt as if i was accusing him of cheating (which i wasn't, just wanted to know what the deal is) and that's not the greatest news to get in the morning before his morning coffee..

everything is sorted for now, no cheating, and i'm making a personal note to self...

• don't fight via email/txt while bf is away on business in different countries.
• trust bf not to do anything stupid, but confront if something is a lil too fishy.

[inneedofadvice]

sweetie if he's still on a dating web site chances are he's still looking. my advice would be to end it when he gets home. dating web sites are great if you meet someone but keeping them after that and still checking them means he's still looking. = [