my bf is going to think i'm crazy..

[oh.wow]

but i think it's legit!

my bf and i met on okcupid and have been dating for a little bit. personally i deleted my account when we started dating officially.

anywho, bf has been away on a business trip since saturday and he's been super busy and we haven't really been in touch (30 mins last night while he was waiting to catch a flight). i went to his profile on okcupid to see pics of him cuz i missed him..

to my surprise he'd logged in on sunday, tuesday, and again this morning

his profile says he's still single

i know it's just a stupid website that has addicting tests and what not... but my heart sank a little.

well, i've "confronted" him via text (not sure this is a good idea or not still) and i'm not sure when i'll hear back from him..

my text said "how come ur still logging into okcupid? i trust ya but would appreciate ur status to be in a relationship or something"

i was cheated on in my last relationship and don't wanna go through it again. i guess i'm just sad cuz he's thousands of miles away from meee.. i do trust him, and not blaming him for doing anything..

it took me about 20 mins or longer to send the txt.. cuz it's obviously not an excellent means of communication for stuff like this, but i have no idea when i'll talk to him again and he's not back until may 15th so i don't want to have that on my mind the entire time...

was this text a good or bad idea..

[steelsword]

So have you two met IRL or...? I think you're right to be upset. If you 2 are exclusive/in a serious relationship, then neither one of you should even be on a dating site, much less logging into one.

[oh.wow]

it's slightly long distance, 40 mins away, but we usually see each other once a week.

i don't want to come across that i'm e-stalking him, accusing him of cheating.. hence just asking him to change his status.. but i dunno. he made a point of being all romantic and asking me to be exclusive with him so i really don't think it's anything.. but it does kinda bother me that he's checking his okcupid account so frequently.

i just know that sometimes messages, especially texting, can be misinterpreted to the extreme. i guess all i have to do is wait for a reply and maybe defend myself if need be.

[steelsword]

I see. Well I still think him still being on there is a bit of a red flag. I hope I'm wrong, for your sake, but I don't blame you for being concerned. Just try not to overthink it/focus on it. Believe me, I know that that is difficult.

[oh.wow]

i'm scared to see how he replies to my message, but i still think i did the right thing.. i hope anyway.

[steelsword]

It'll be ok either way. If it doesn't go well you have us to talk to on here. And if it does go well, then you have nothing to worry about.

[oh.wow]

i'm about to explode.. it's been 5 hours and i've not heard back from the text.. gah

[Gigabitch]

Well, dating to you means committed. Dating to him might not mean the same thing. Did you have that all-important exclusivity conversation?

[oh.wow]

we totally did.. he even said that word. exclusive and dating no one else..

[Gigabitch]

Then he's a lying sack of shit and you need to start protecting yourself.

[Aeradalia]

Then he's a lying sack of shit and you need to start protecting yourself.

Now, now Giga... albeit, intuition is right quite often... we still need to wait for the guy's response... so we can say without a sliver of doubt... this guy is a lying sack of shit...

He might just be an idiot who has no intention of sabotaging his relationship. Plenty of those too...

[Gigabitch]

Oh, pffff. He's still logging onto the dating site and has his status set to "single". He's either a dick or a retard.

[Aeradalia]

He's either a dick or a retard.

My point exactly... let his response be the deciding factor.

[Gigabitch]

Either way, she should run.

[oh.wow]

i sent an email.. 6 hours after the first text.

"i haven't heard back from the text i sent earlier and yes, i know you're busy and all.
it probably wasn't the best way to confront the situation.. but i dunno

i hope i'm over reacting.. but i am still curious why you're logging in...

anywho, i can't sleep, so whenever you get this take like 3.6 seconds to email me baaack so i don't go crazy.

miss ya..

p.s. happy friday!
p.p.s. good luck on your demos "

he's been pulling 14 hour days lately trying to tie up loose ends on sales/demos for his job.

i talked to him last night and he told me he wasn't able to text internationally - which could be why he hasn't responded to the text...

i hate doing this stuff via text/email... but i also don't want to wait two weeks and have our first bit of time back together with a fight from way back when.

i'm stressed about this, but i can't be mad til i actually hear back from him. i just hope it's sooner than later.

i kinda regret sending the text.. even though it wasn't abrasive or too bitchy. personally i'd probably hold off that conversation too.. even if i hadn't done anything.

texting is gay