How do guys feel when their SO is very attractive?

[Charlie Boy II]

Also, what runs through your mind when you see an attractive girl with a not so attractive guy?

"He must be rich or a really cool guy".

[geekygirl]

Men don't need to be attractive to get a woman.

They don't need to be attractive to keep them either.

Women look to what a man can provide as far as security and resources are concerned.

You're right to a certain exent; women do look for security but still, there has to be some attractive there otherwise you'd be pretty miserable, wouldn't you? I'm so annoyed with this situation; everything was going well until this topic came up. I wish I had never discussed this with my friends and mom and sister because I've suddenly become very conscious about it. Sometimes I'm afraid people might think that I'm only with him cuz he's an investment banker and he obviously earns good money but I swear that's not true. I didn't even find out what he did until our 3rd date and to be honest, there was a time when I wanted to break up. He started telling me about his job and the crazy hours that are involved and how a lot of guys end up sleeping around (apparently companies will pay for guys to go to strip clubs because they think that's a good way for them to relax after a 14-hour day!!). He said women who end up with investment bankers live very comfortable lives but often have to turn a blind eye when their husbands have affairs. It got me thinking and I told him that faithfulness is very important thing for me and I wouldn't be able to bear being cheated on. His profession still makes me a bit uncomfortable but when I said I needed to think about things, he got very serious and we had a long talk about his job and what I should expect. I think the worse is the long hours....sometimes 2 or 3 days go by and we don't even talk because he's at work from 8 am - 11 or 12 pm. Anyways, he told me that he's very serious about me and he isn't interested in a lifestyle where he's sleeping with interns and secretaries so I should give him a chance cuz not all ibankers are the same. He knows that I'm not 100% comfortable with his career so I think he knows that I'm dating him for who he is and not what he might be able to provide me with.

[geekygirl]

Also, what runs through your mind when you see an attractive girl with a not so attractive guy?

Thankgod that attractive girl isn't superficial and can see through looks to what is important in someone.

On the otherhand I might see you two and think you are not so attractive and your boyfriend is the hottest guy on the planet. Point being looks are very, very subjective so never assume people are always thinking he is batting out of his league.

Thank you....you made me feel better. I'm not superficial and I wish I could tell the world that I'm crazy about him cuz he's a sweetheart and you're right....look are extremely subjective. He might not be good-looking in the traditional sense but he treats me well so to me, he's hot and that's all that matters.

[surfhb]

So you're not comfortable with his looks, what others think of you as a couple and his career? You like his confidence and ambition only? Dont think so much and enjoy yourself with this man. He hasnt done anything to make you think indifferent. All this crap is stuff you've made up yourself....not being fair to him

[geekygirl]

So you're not comfortable with his looks, what others think of you as a couple and his career? You like his confidence and ambition only? Dont think so much and enjoy yourself with this man. He hasnt done anything to make you think indifferent. All this crap is stuff you've made up yourself....not being fair to him

No. I'm very comfortable with his looks. To me, he's very good looking!! His smile makes me melt Like I said, I never thought about this before. I was (and am) enjoying myself with him very much. This stuff just came up recently and now I've suddenly become very concious of it which is why I'm wondering what people think. As far as his career goes, I'm getting used to it. It's like being with a doctor or lawyer, they never really have a lot of time to spare but he makes the effort so it's not so bad anymore. He makes sure I know how important I am to him so I know he cares about me. And yes, I love his confidence and ambition; there's nothing worse than a person (guy or girl) who's going through life aimlessly without knowing what they want.

[Dependable]

your overthinking the issue, sometimes it best to let things be. Any man would love the compliment " your wife is so pretty for you", i am engaged to a younger women that also has trust issues, due to my profession, and time away. all i can say is a try very hard to communicate, and keep in touch with phone calls and e-mails, if i say i am going to call i call, i am where i am supposed to be. also the same with her, its never ill call you at 8pm and you cant get in touch till 2am. i do not lie to her, or try not to.

Women look to what a man can provide as far as security and resources are concerned.

not so much in America, i understand that statement but women in the states can provide for themselves, and a relationship will not last if the only reason behind it is "security and resources."

[zmoore]

i have the same exact story. me and my ex just recently broke up, however when we were going out, we pretty much fit your relationship to a "t". she is georgeous and gets hit on a lottttttt and im no the best looking guy (but not the worst) but we still dated happily for about 18 months (btw, the reason we broke up was because of our big age difference. not because of our looks or anything) and fell deeply in love. like the saying goes, true beauty is on the inside. all you need to do is assure him that he's perfect and that you love him the way he is. thats what she use to tell me and that alone would mean the world to me. i didnt need to look like a prince on the outside to have my princess, it was the love on the inside that ment so much more

[Mathias]

When she's very attractive, I feel like "hey, she's almost as good looking as me!"

[TonyR]

Has anyone heard of CHEMISTRY? Looks are great, but without chemistry looks don't really matter. Looks will change over the years, we gain weight, we get wrinkles, hair grows out of our ears, we fart, and we begin to smell.....well, not all of us.
Chemistry doesn't have to change, actually it can get stronger.

Tony

[Gratedwasabi]

When she's very attractive, I feel like "hey, she's almost as good looking as me!"

When she's very attractive I just wonder "hey, will the top of her head look that good while she blows me?"

Seriously, get over yourself OP. The problem isn't that you/your friends/whatever think he isn't attractive.. it's that you think you're all that. I assure you there are plenty of guys out there that don't find you attractive. Good looks and a dollar still don't get you a big mac. Maybe your personality sucks. Or you're terrible in bed. Or you have an awful voice. Or you smell bad. Maybe you look much worse without clothes on. Etc.. Stop being so damn vain, get over yourself and enjoy what seems like a good relationship.

[geekygirl]

When she's very attractive I just wonder "hey, will the top of her head look that good while she blows me?"

Seriously, get over yourself OP. The problem isn't that you/your friends/whatever think he isn't attractive.. it's that you think you're all that. I assure you there are plenty of guys out there that don't find you attractive. Good looks and a dollar still don't get you a big mac. Maybe your personality sucks. Or you're terrible in bed. Or you have an awful voice. Or you smell bad. Maybe you look much worse without clothes on. Etc.. Stop being so damn vain, get over yourself and enjoy what seems like a good relationship.

I think I made it clear several times that I have no problem with the way he looks. If I did, I wouldn't be dating him. This whole thing started when She's Out of My League came up and HE said that "I must have a very sweet personality for you to end up with me". This is what started this whole thing cuz honestly, I swear I'd never thought about this. We like each other, we have great chemistry, we spend hours talking and we're having a good time so it doesn't matter what others think. I assure you, I'm not being vain; I was just genuinely curious, that's all.

[surfhb]

Ha ha! I was thinking the same thing.

If he's half the alpha male you say he is, please don't let this little convo get out or show through your actions. You won't be pleased with the outcome.

[Gratedwasabi]

I think I made it clear several times that I have no problem with the way he looks. If I did, I wouldn't be dating him. This whole thing started when She's Out of My League came up and HE said that "I must have a very sweet personality for you to end up with me". This is what started this whole thing cuz honestly, I swear I'd never thought about this. We like each other, we have great chemistry, we spend hours talking and we're having a good time so it doesn't matter what others think. I assure you, I'm not being vain; I was just genuinely curious, that's all.

You're curious about what? How you can understand how others think he's ugly and kind of agree with it, but not understand that he is comfortable with himself and not torn up over how you're sooooo better looking?

Yes, you are being vain. You think you're more attractive than him. Or you are too weak-willed to set your own opinion down, which you claim is that you find him hot and irresistible, and tell your friends and family that you disagree and think he's quite attractive and they're being very rude.

So which is it? Are you vain or weak-willed? If my family or friends ever dared to call my girlfriend unattractive? Wow. I would rain hell upon them. But you just took it? What does that say about you?

"This whole thing started when She's Out of My League came up and HE said that "I must have a very sweet personality for you to end up with me"." <-- is called a joke. Self-depreciating humor. It's entertaining. Also a compliment to you.

You've overthought this all and are allowing your friends to pass judgment on your boyfriend and take the into consideration. You have the problem, not him.

[surfhb]

Actually after reading your original post.... No, none of this bothers him. He's was just making a comment and you thought about it too much!!! Enjoy yourself

[geekygirl]

You're curious about what? How you can understand how others think he's ugly and kind of agree with it, but not understand that he is comfortable with himself and not torn up over how you're sooooo better looking?

Yes, you are being vain. You think you're more attractive than him. Or you are too weak-willed to set your own opinion down, which you claim is that you find him hot and irresistible, and tell your friends and family that you disagree and think he's quite attractive and they're being very rude.

So which is it? Are you vain or weak-willed? If my family or friends ever dared to call my girlfriend unattractive? Wow. I would rain hell upon them. But you just took it? What does that say about you?

"This whole thing started when She's Out of My League came up and HE said that "I must have a very sweet personality for you to end up with me"." <-- is called a joke. Self-depreciating humor. It's entertaining.

No....When I said I was curious, I just wanted to know what people think when they see an average-looking guy with an attractive girl. Even in the movie they made it seem like a big deal but I don't think it is. Looks are subjective so what's attractive to one person could be unattractive to another. Also, looks fade so a relationship based solely on looks won't last long. I never said he's ugly......you're twisting my words!! And for the record, of course I defended him when my family and friends commented. I told them that I really love him just the way he is and they should respect that. My friends' opinions didn't really bother me but I definitely told my mom and sister that they're out of line and they both apologized.
You're right....it probably was self-deprecating humor but it caught me off guard. He's quite an alpha-male type and is very confident (sometimes to the point of being arrogant) so hearing him say that (after 4 months!) surprised me. I guess it was the first time I saw him being insecure (joking or not) and maybe that's why I took him so seriously.
Anyways, once again, I'm not vain and I don't think I'm sooooooo better looking than him. I don't have an attitude and I don't think I'm better than him in any way!!!!