venting....

[alidile]

SO>>>
last night was our work party i worked with him all day and at one point we were together and i was asking him about this coworker he used to like. she likes him A LOT. i asked how that whole thing was going cos she is bitter that he won't ask her out... she's this virgin which is fine but super christian and pushes her stuff on people but still gets drunk. i'm not such a fan she ended up getting wasted and crying all night. anyways, then he proceeded to tell me about her a bit and how the window of them has forever closed and how w/ his ex girlfriend the only person he ever loved it's closed. then he was like "honestly ali, i'm really happy with my life right now".
then. he really wanted to tell me this for some reason... he was like "i have really high standards for people i would date and you do too and we're not meeting up to eithers" i was like "what's that mean" and he was like well i haven't actually ever really tried to think to hard about what you're lacking in, and i told him not to think about the situation altogether and then he got all excited and was like i think you're just too cold and cynical and you're mean to me. which is very true, because i go above and beyond to knock down everythign he says. but i can't stop now?!
anyways, so then i changed the subject we just had small talk from there on out, went to his place and drank w /his brother. in front of his brother he called me "hunny" to which i said WHAT and his brother looked at me and he was like "yes baby" and then there was just this awkward silence and his bro just broke it by changing the topic but wtf is he doing?! then he kicked his bro out of the room he wouldn't let me leave to the party until i kissed him and he kept draggin me to bed to make out but finally we left.
then we went to the work party... this crazy sensitive chick who likes him came to me of all people to cry and complain about him, (everyone thinks we are just good friends since we work together especially) and then she left in a tizzy. we went back to his place after the party and banged he kept telling me i was so beautiful and saying things like i was amazing before after and during and that we were an amazing f*ck together whatever, that's just sex talk though doesn't matter. but it's little things like this morning he wanted to cuddle when he woke up and my alarm was going off and i went to turn it off and he got up and told me to stay and sleep that he would do it. i mean, i don't know what to think anymore... i almost just said i liked him and gave him the whole shpiel but i just could not do it!

[alidile]

"you still held that up when i said you were mean"
he just text me this... what does that mean? i said huh and he didn't answer!

[vashti]

he was like "i have really high standards for people i would date and you do too and we're not meeting up to eithers"

That pretty much sums it all up, I think. Are you going to continue sleeping with him? And if so, why?

[Gigabitch]

Ali, for ****'s sake, put an end to this before you get shredded.

[alidile]

yes, that's what i thought too when he said that but then he went on to tell me he didn't know what i wasn't meeting up to and continue on with the comments like oooh. this is important...
so he asked me to sleep over and i was like maybe but who says i'm in the mood to do what sleeping over entails. and he was like oh that's okay. and then i said, anyways you get girls really easily, when we go out tonight just pick one up and bring her home i'll sleep on the couch. and he said "no. because. this is hard to say. but i just want you.... for tonight" and i said he needed to man up and made the comment that i really love being the favourite booty call to which he quickly said "no! it's not like that" and i then just changed the subject and started talking to customers again :S

[Gigabitch]

... i said he needed to man up and made the comment that i really love being the favourite booty call to which he quickly said "no! it's not like that" and i then just changed the subject and started talking to customers again :S

That was a perfect opportunity to say, "Oh, really? How is it, then? Because that's what it looks like from here."

Put that guy on the spot.

[IndiReloaded]

Aidile, you are ignoring what everyone is telling you. You know you are, but noone is going to put your face in your piss, so I will. You must face the truth no matter how painful.

He TOLD you you're not up to his standards for dating. WTF? I *think* that means he thinks you're a tramp. WHY are you still seeing this guy, much less ****ing him? Don't you have any self-respect?

I like you. I think your posts suggest someone smarter than you are acting. Try not to be a Doormat in 2008.

[alidile]

i think it was the tone of voice... it was more like a "your not up to my standards as i could not possibly be up to yours for whatever reasons" but then could not think of what those standards were and got all shy and awkward. i think he might want to say something but doesn't because he will always be about to say something to be and say never mind and do something like give me a hug... i don't know oh well. i think i'm just gonna talk to him tomorrow night if i run into him at a club.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah that all sounds pretty hopeful to me.

[alidile]

he wanted to know if i was sitting thinking about the fact that he called me mean if my feelings were hurt i said no, i thought about it but i'm not sitting here seething. that was that.

[alidile]

ooops.
i got really drunk and went out w/ my OTHER best friend... the one i've known since childhood who's not so crazy. anyways, a lot of alcohol was involved. he called and we went to crash at his house. on the way to his place she was rambling and suddenly said "you're the one with the commitment issues ali," and i automatically cut her off.
he was all what? tell me more. what's that mean. i told him to forget he heard anything, but he kept wanting to find out what that had meant. i was going to say something but i couldn't do it, and with my friend there and all. and this morning i said i was leaving gave him a peck on the forehead and started walking away but he wanted to pull me into bed and stuff and kept asking why i was leaving. he skipped work but i had to go back to my place and run errunds.
this is getting worse and worse, i was thinking of leaving a note under his pillow that spelled everything out but my friend said that was the cheesiest worst idea and i needed to speak to him face to face but i don't know if i can do that...
is a letter really the worst idea? i think email might be lame. i don't know what think though. :S

[Kiechi]

Homing pigeon.

[alidile]

homing pigeon?
please explain.

[TheSphinx]

It sounds like you've got a deeper longing for something more than what you are currently going through.

Address this issue up front, face to face, no letters or notes.

You may only be twenty, but why waste your time simply because you are young? Once he understands that you find yourself and your time valuable, and that you know what you want out of a relationship, he'll be up front if he's interested beyond just sex.

~Sphinx

[alidile]

i can't really deal with talking to people face to face though about anything i'm not controling. :S, i was hoping on just getting both of us really wasted and then doing the whole shpiel. is that unadvisable as well?
and still, i'm really interested to know what homing pigeon is. i feel really slow-mo as i don't get it.