I know a man that is with a woman like your girlfriend. He stayed with her and he tells us he wanks every night and she is fine with it as long as he doesn't do it in front of her. He complains about not getting it but once every two months or so but other then that, he appears to be happy with her.
This is what YOU have to do if you're going to stay with her.
You have to adjust to her libido and not be wanting anything more from her and be able to not let your ego get the better of you. You can't change her but you can change yourself if you're that so undecided about just leaving her altogether. (my advise, but hey, I'm not you)
You best get the training you need to stop trying to control though. Alanon or Codependents Anonymous will help you to accept your lot instead of trying to control and change her into who you wish she was. Go to the meetings and learn to form boundaries, not let her cross yours, to stop trying to change her and instead change yourself. That's what you have to do if you want to be with her and stay with her in a happy state rather then just stay with her while complaining and being unhappy.
That is the only way you won't be brought down by her. Is to accept her and change yourself to accept her AS IS.
Have you a good relationship with your father? You say your family thinks she's the bomb. Can you tell your father everything you've told us and seek out what he'd think of her if he knew you were actually so torn about her and how things currently are? Her outter appearances, be damned.
I feel like I've lost my mojo in a sense by not being able to initiate these things. I don't mean this to sound controlling or whatever but I would like to have the feeling that when I'm wanting to have it and just grab her, I can. In a way that she is excited to have me wanting her in that way.
This isn't asking much at all but she can't/won't even give you that. Really think about everything before you marry this woman.
.... And yes, thank your lucky stars you didn't wait to have sex until you married her. This is who she is. Heed it.
I'll also add that if you're going to stay with her that you make sure she's cool with you viewing and pleasuring yourself to porn (if thats what you want). Certainly she can't expect to be practically frigid and expect you to be totally celebate while you wait for her to get the one urge she gets once every fiscal quarter. pfffft.
Last edited by Wakeup; 22-01-14 at 01:10 PM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion